Let me start from the beginning,, I first met my current boyfriend like a year ago, we went out for 2 mounths, we broke up because we live to far away to each other. Then were I am studying I met this guy "L.A." first time, I thought he was only cute, then when I got to know him a little, I thought he was discusting, because he smoke, A LOT!! he's was kind of like a slut, and he like's to drink, then I dicided to just ignore him, knowing that I had a little crush on him, I got together with he's best friend Frank, we were togerther for four mounths, but during the last two mounths I cheated on my boyfriend with him. Then when I broke up with Frank, me and "L.A." kept on hanging out a little. Then out of no where he stopped speaking to me and he got himself a girl. Now they aren't together anymore. Now after a lot of time I got back with my current boyfriend. But I'm still having feelings for "L.A.", I love my boyfrind a lot, but still that doesn't pervent my dreams about "L.A.", and neither my tears, and my heartbreak.

I now that it could be my fault. But he stills gives me that look, and I have never helt something sooo strong for a guy, never, even knowing that he doesn't have a future.

What should I do??

My best opinion is well if he smokes as much as he does and drink a lot and is a slut , than even if you really like his personality he's prob not actually worth it. Guys like that don't seem to have anything going for them, like no goals, and you can do way better... take it from someone who has been there... no guy is worth you time if they don't have anything in life to look forward to

You should be alone for a time. With nobody.

If cheating on someone is OK with you, OK I guess... your life.

This is clear. Lose the boyfriend. He deserves better. That's not a slam against you... it's the reality... you are not fully in the relationship and if you stay its cause its comforting, easier than being alone. Only a matter of time before you leave him.

So... if this guy is all that, go after it and stop screwing around. If you aren't willing to take that chance, this is just all noise.

Either be all in or all out of your relationships. So far, you aren't doing that.

While there is nothing wrong with leaving one boyfriend and getting another one, you should look to approve your boyfrien, not get one not really worth having

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Originally Posted by kp2171

you should be alone for a time. with nobody.

if cheating on someone is ok with you, ok i guess... your life.

this is clear. lose the bf. he deserves better. thats not a slam against you... its the reality... you are not fully in the relationship and if you stay its cause its comforting, easier than being alone. only a matter of time before you leave him.

so.... if this guy is all that, go after it and stop screwing around. if you arent willing to take that chance, this is just all noise.

either be all in or all out of your relationships. so far, you arent doing that.

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Here is the other option - although the advice you've received so far is very good.

We all have had our fantacies- oh yes - I can still remember mine..

If you still dream about this 'slut', smoker, and drinker... here it is:
Make a date with him, ask him to chew gum, have a drink yourself, and then make sure that you are protected with lots and lots of condoms. Then, check out his 'romantic streak'. I am certain it will not come up to par with your dreams, but at least when this is over - you'll know that fantasies are not always what they promise.
Once this is done, spend some time alone to reflect on what you really want in your life, i.e. education, career, type of partner and your general future.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gifP.S. excuse the spelling, my PC acts funny when I use it now, so I hope you get my 'drift'.

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Originally Posted by kp2171

so.... if this guy is all that, go after it and stop screwing around.

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Maybe I shouldve said "start" screwing around? And the condom and bubble gum thing too. Not in that order. ;)

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Originally Posted by kp2171

maybe i shouldve said "start" screwing around? and the condom and bubble gum thing too. not in that order. ;)

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http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_165_14.gif What's in a word - I'm sure she knows what you meant dear...
Giving you an 'attaboy!'