[girl999]

My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year now. Ever since we started going out his ex-girlfriend has been an issue. He wasn't completely over her when we started dating. She broke up with him, but after 2 months she called him and asked if they couldn't try again. After that he had only seen her once and they didn't have much contact. (They didn't live in the same town) After 3 months of me and him dating and sleeping together I asked him what was going on between us and he said that he wasn't sure, because he didn't know what was going on with his ex and that he first want to go to Ventersdorp where she lived and find out. Another month went past, and he still didn't go to her. Then he asked me out. We were going out for about 2 months when I asked him about her- he told me about how there relationship was and that he wasn't completely over her- he cried that night. She still had some stuff of him like a painting, the ring he aked her to marry with which she didn't accept, and photos of them. He wnted it back. He told her to keep the ring and put it on whenever she's ready. She never did. So, he called her to find out if he can come and fetch his stuff. She didn't answer and so he called her mother, she told him that she would ask her to call him back, because she was out. After 2 weeks she called back and they talked for hours on the phone, I was'nt happy, because he postponed our date for that conversation. She said that she would bring his stuff for him and asked if she could stay over at his house for a week. She never arrived. He wasn't very hapy about that, he said that he was rather excited to see her(as a friend) or so he told me. He still had some photos of them 2 on his phone and one of her photos was his wallpaper on his phone, I had 2 ask him to take it off otherwise I guess he never would have. He also had some half naked photos of her in his Bible, he said that he had forgotten about them. He then threw it away. He says he loves me and that I should stop asking questions about his ex, because he's with me now. I don't know what to do. Please give me some advice!

[talaniman]

Sorry to say he still has some strong feelings for his ex, that should be obvious to you, and do you really think that this is healthy for you to be so involved with someone so emotionaly not all there yet? You are already in very deeply, and your putting your heart in danger of being broken very easily. Whether he intended to or not, you may be a rebound from his ex, and his feelings for you are from trying to fill the void of a bad relationship, one that he was looking for marriage. Protect yourself and your emotions, for when the shat hits the fan, and he is out of there, and your caught holding his emotional baggage.