[nairshar]

I was unintentionally browsing through my bf's fone and came across a message that he has sent his co-worker saying "Hi" . The next I see is that he has deleted the rest of their conversations [ may be 3-4 sms-es] . I asked him why did he do that to which he replied that it was just a hi-hello , how you doing sms.. On asking again , he told me that he sent her an sms asking the female to meet down their working place for a smoke and that he deleted those sms-es cause he was scared that I would be upset about that . [ well , my boyfriend smokes like 7-8 cigarretes a day , so I asked him to shut it down ] . Should I believe this story ? How should I know the truth , is there something fishy ?

GOD , this is bothering me . I hate this .


By the way , I got to know that he has deleted the rest of the sms-es cause I happened to see the delivery report that had delivered 4 more messages to her , I confronted him .

[Alty]

I love this part;

I was unintentionally browsing through my bf's fone

Call it what it is. It's snooping.

Should you believe him? That depends. Do you trust him? I'd guess you don't, otherwise you'd have no reason to snoop.

Without trust you have nothing. So the real question should be, should you two stay together seeing as you don't trust him?

[nairshar]

I love this part;



Call it what it is. It's snooping.

Should you believe him? That depends. Do you trust him? I'd guess you don't, otherwise you'd have no reason to snoop.

Without trust you have nothing. So the real question should be, should you two stay together seeing as you don't trust him?

I totally trust him , but I don't want to be an emotional fool who he gets his however way . I don't want him to lie to me, I am just worried if I should be concerned or should I just ignore the whole thing .

I was just playing around with his cellfone while I saw those messages , I wasn't snooping

[Alty]

I totally trust him , but i dont wanna be an emotional fool who he gets his however way . I dont want him to lie to me, i am just worried if i should be concerned or should i just ignore the whole thing .

I was just playing around with his cellfone while i saw those messages , i wasnt snooping

Nairshar. You were snooping. If you weren't snooping you wouldn't have read the messages. You would have put the phone down as soon as they "popped" up. It is what it is, and it's snooping.

If you trust him than why are you questioning his motives for the texts? You asked him what the texts were about, he answered you. If you trust him than why aren't you believing what he told you?

It's up to you how you handle this. You can continue the games, snooping, trying to catch him in a lie, or you can trust him. If you feel the need to continue accidentally snooping, than you really should reconsider this relationship and if he's the one for you.

The answer is in you. Are you being honest when you say you trust him? If so, than yes, you should ignore the whole thing.

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...om-534165.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ou-534184.html

Your problems with this fellow are starting to add up. What's really going on with this relationship, or are you that new to each other?

I know you have been together a year and a half, but how long have you been living together? This sounds like you are both new to this and have a lot of real honest talking to do as I think the honeymoon has been over, and now you are seeing things you don't like, or don't understand.

Not only are communications important but trust, and being able to set boundaries of good behavior for you both. That takes time and work.

[nairshar]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...om-534165.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ou-534184.html

Your problems with this fellow are starting to add up. Whats really going on with this relationship, or are you that new to each other?

I know you have been together a year and a half, but how long have you been living together? This sounds like you are both new to this and have a lot of real honest talking to do as I think the honeymoon has been over, and now you are seeing things you don't like, or don't understand.

Not only are communications important but trust, and being able to set boundaries of good behavior for you both. That takes time and work.

Its just been a month that we have moved in to our new appt and I am slowly realising that I am more committed and more responsible than him . He wants to do all according to his comfort & when I raise a concern I am a **** bag talking crap , we did fight a lot even when hadn't moved in then , but then those def wernt for the ones I stated . When one is in a relationship , shouldn't both be responsible for each others feelings and comfort level ? Why is he being selfish and want to do all acc to his comfort & not bother about my feelings .

[Wondergirl]

we did fight a lot even when hadn't moved in

So why did you move in together?

Why is he being selfish and want to do all acc to his comfort & not bother about my feelings .

Why? Because he can.

[nairshar]

We are getting married sometime May 2011 , so figured out that we could take an appt and settle down .

How do I stop him from behaving that way. I am doing so many things for him & by his behaviour I just feel like quitting and just do my stuff , but being the person that I am . I can never do that & stop caring about him & flirt and meet other men .

[Alty]

There's a saying, and it's so true.

Women marry men hoping to change them, men marry women hoping that they'll never change.

You can't change him. You can talk to him, tell him the things that are bothering you, but you can't change him. If that's what you're hoping for, than realize that it's a dead end street and get off now.

You either accept him for who he is, or you find someone that's more to your liking.