[ordinaryguy]

If it wasn't for me, I don't think he would be where he is now.... with a good therapist and on meds... even though I think he still has these moods because he doesn't always take them when he is supposed to and now that he feels better even denies a little that he's bipolar....

I'm sure he owes you a great debt. You stuck by him when nobody else would. You're a true friend. The cycle is so predictable: Manic phase; crash and burn; back on meds; back to normal; life gets boring; these meds bring me down; I'm fine without them; This is more like it!; Manic phase;... The thing is, the choice to stop taking the meds is made when he's NOT manic. After he's on that slippery slope, of course it's the biochemical imbalance that's drivng. But that's not when the critical decision is made. It's sort of the inverse of alcoholism--all you have to ingest to go on a bender is nothing. How could that be wrong? It's very hard, because they're at their funniest, most creative, and most attractive just after they've stopped their meds, and just before they go completely over the edge. You don't want to bring them down any more than they want to come down. You keep thinking "Surely this time they'll stop before it spins out of control", but no.

I don't think this situation has anything to do with another girl or something.... I think that this whole thing blew out of proportion and he simply can't handle things.....? I know the ride that I could take with this guy.... but there is just something that connects me so deeply with him.... Do you think this bipolar/OCD stuff has to do with this situation?

I think it has everything to do with the situation. You can't fix him and you can't save him, but you can love him if you're strong enough. What you have to decide is how much you can stand. A friend of mine used to say "You just have to hang on for all you're worth and go for it, and if the going gets too rough, let go and see what happens."

[NJCUTIE77]

You seem to know about this stuff... and I answered your post as best I could... believe me.. romance is good! GIRLS LOVE THE SPONTANEOUS STUFF... but... have you ever heard of Borderline Personality Disorder... someone told me to read about it and this is what I found about it that actually goes together with everything.. I'm thinking of perhaps forwarding this to his family since the doctors never really looked into it but this seems just like my situation:

Symptoms
While a person with depression or bipolar disorder typically endures the same mood for weeks, a person with BPD may experience intense bouts of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last only hours, or at most a day.5 These may be associated with episodes of impulsive aggression, self-injury, and drug or alcohol abuse. Distortions in cognition and sense of self can lead to frequent changes in long-term goals, career plans, jobs, friendships, gender identity, and values. Sometimes people with BPD view themselves as fundamentally bad, or unworthy. They may feel unfairly misunderstood or mistreated, bored, empty, and have little idea who they are. Such symptoms are most acute when people with BPD feel isolated and lacking in social support, and may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone.

People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all. Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to such mild separations as a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans. These fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual with BPD feeling lost and perhaps worthless. Suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments.

People with BPD exhibit other impulsive behaviors, such as excessive spending, binge eating and risky sex. BPD often occurs together with other psychiatric problems, particularly bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and other personality disorders.

[NJCUTIE77]

Could someone please give me some more advice regarding this situation.. I would really appreciate it since I'm kind of at a standstill here... Thanks guys!

[cyberslider]

My advice would be if you truly love him and it sounds like you do then let him go.If he comes back it was meant to be if he does not then it was not to be. You should take this time and explore who else is out there and test yourself as to who you truly want sample the goods before you buy

[NJCUTIE77]

Right.. I totally understand what you are saying and I guess my question is based on: is the way he is acting based on his issues..