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UntilTheEnd · May 10, 2009, 09:09 PM

A lot of merged threads

Hi everyone. Here is my situation and I need some help.

Recently, I have met this wonderful girl through an online game. Started with flirty emails and then we added each other on messenger. Over the few week's time, I found myself falling for her. She seems to be a really nice girl and someone possibly I want to be with. The problem is I'm not sure if she is interested in me the same way, although she has been sending some signs of interest, I'm not sure of the intention. If it is being friendly or just for fun or whatever.

Anyway I have found out that she lives quite a ways from me. She lives in a different country, but its not across the world. (Canada/Us) although it does present its complications. I actually want something more than an online relationship with her but things are hard right now as we are both university students and we have other obligations such as family and our studies. It would be nice if I could get to know her and spend some time with her in person rather than just online.

I want to know if she is serious about us or she doesn't care about this relationship we have whatever it may be as much as I do. I like the way things are right now and I don't want to ruin it by asking her although it would be awesome if we can move forward someway, somehow given the circumstances. I am not in a rush for a relationship but I'm not sure if I should let her know how I feel. I am really happy I met her, and I would understand if she finds someone in person she could spend time her life with but it would be awesome if that was me. Lol.

I think I'm starting to fall for her. I don't know if that is actually possible through the internet but I got to know her really well. This is pretty much it. Ill update with more information later on but in the meantime I would like to know if you guys have any suggestions on this, and what do you guys think about my situation and what would you do if you were in my position?

Thanks in advance. :)

Clough · May 10, 2009, 09:44 PM

Hi, UntilTheEnd!

How long have you been communicating with her on the Internet, please? It would be helpful for us to know that.

Thanks!

none12345 · May 10, 2009, 09:52 PM

Hey,

You enjoy her company. Just take it slowly. I so understand how you feel though bro.

Maybe try to let her know how you feel?

UntilTheEnd · May 10, 2009, 09:54 PM

Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, UntilTheEnd!

How long have you been communicating with her on the Internet, please! It would be helpful for us to know that.

Thanks!

Hm. About a little more than one month now roughly.

talaniman · May 10, 2009, 10:02 PM

Okay, you like her, but keep it real, as your pen pals with a stranger, like it or not. If she were a live person, I would say the same thing, go slow, get to know them, have fun, but don't give a stranger your heart, and soul.

Whats the chances of meeting in person???

Weigh that against any feeling you may have.

UntilTheEnd · May 10, 2009, 10:30 PM

I so know what you mean. I did just meet her and there's so much left to know about her. I just feel there is some chemistry. But yup you're right don't give a stranger your heart.

Chance of meeting her in person? Not so good.

Maybe one day life would bring us together. Only time will tell.

Anyway should I let her know how I feel about her guys?

Clough · May 10, 2009, 10:34 PM

Hi again, UntilTheEnd!

My opinion would be to give it considerable more time before you tell her and see how things develop as they are arranged currently.

There are lots of women in whom I would like to get to know and also be intimate, but the distances between us simply won't allow that you happen.

Tal is correct. Best to keep things real...

Thanks!

talaniman · May 11, 2009, 07:04 AM

Get to know her a lot better because I doubt YOU know how you really feel after only a month.

Right now its only intense feelings, for another you LIKE, and may change later, especially if a real person catches your interest.

Keep it real, wait and see, and keep it in perspective.

I Say that because others have feelings too, and its too early to know anything at this point in time. Just be friends, for now.

Just like you don't want your heart broken, don't break someone else's either. I mean what's the hurry?

UntilTheEnd · May 14, 2009, 02:58 PM

Hey guys, I'm 21 only had 1 girlfriend so far, she broke up with me and I put no contact in play just like what my friends told me. Basically I disappeared from her life. Im well over her now and its been almost a year now and I'm waiting for meet my true love.

I already know what she's going to be like because I thought of what type of person I want to spend my life with. I've been doing my own things lately but it would be nice if I could share my life with someone but I can't seem to find her or she can't seem to find me.

Also I think just disappearing from my ex, didn't leave us on good terms, I am certainly ready to forgive now. I've realized it was no one's fault it ended the way it did. Some people say, a good endings make good beginings.

I don't know what do you guys think?

Thanks in advance.

jenniepepsi · May 14, 2009, 03:02 PM

Hon, you are 21. You have a whole life ahead of you. Give it some time, and relax about it. Enjoy single life. Believe it or not you WILL miss it when you find your true love. Granted, many of us will trade the single life for our loved ones, but a young life lost is lost forever. Take this time for yourself. Go on a trip, go clubbing, try casual dating instead of 'looking for that one special person'

chuff · May 14, 2009, 03:28 PM

Because you haven't found yourself yet. True love is not a guarantee. The only life long relationship you will have is that with yourself. You haven't dug into yourself yet to find out what you really want and where you want life to take you. You have not found a purpose or drive with in so you search for it on the outside of you. You'll spend a lifetime searching that way. It's not until you take the time to learn and become comfortable with yourself will you be able to find your true happiness with someone else.

UntilTheEnd · May 14, 2009, 03:37 PM

Thanks Jenniepepsi.

Chuff, I have found myself and I know where I want to go in life and all the things I want to do for myself like my career, my goals etc and that is my drive in life. Its just that it would be nice to have somebody to love and be with.

liz28 · May 14, 2009, 04:09 PM

Your find someone when your not looking. Sounds weird but believe me it is so true.

UntilTheEnd · May 14, 2009, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

Hon, you are 21. you have a whole life ahead of you. give it some time, and relax about it. enjoy single life. believe it or not you WILL miss it when you find your true love. granted, many of us will trade the single life for our loved ones, but a young life lost is lost forever. take this time for yourself. go on a trip, go clubbing, try casual dating instead of 'looking for that one special person'

Lol when I was small I always dreamed about getting married at 24 the perfect age. All my friends have a girlfriend or boyfriend and every time we hang out I feel left out. I know that shouldn't be a reason to find someone they seem so happy lol. I can be happy by myself but it would be awesome to have someone to share your life with.

UntilTheEnd · May 14, 2009, 04:14 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

Your find someone when your not looking. Sounds weird but believe me it is so true.

I heard of that! It happens when you least expect it? Lol so it might have happened a lot of times but is it really true? Lol

Anyway do you guys think I should make amends with my ex? I did just disappear from her life just like that. Does a good ending make a good beginning?

I wish · May 14, 2009, 04:20 PM

Sounds like you are still hooked on your last relationship. Let it go and open yourself up other people so that they can get to know you.

Just keep talking to and meeting new people. There's 6 billion people out there. Thought you might not meet every single one of them, there's still a good pool of people out there.

UntilTheEnd · May 14, 2009, 04:32 PM

Originally Posted by I wish

Sounds like you are still hooked on your last relationship. Let it go and open yourself up other people so that they can get to know you.

Just keep talking to and meeting new people. There's 6 billion people out there. Thought you might not meet every single one of them, there's still a good pool of people out there.

Actually I'm not hooked up anymore its been almost a year. I just thought, maybe its time to have closure and leave things on good terms while we go our separate ways. I was sad, then mad and now I see that it just wasn't meant to be and no one was to blame.

I wish · May 14, 2009, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by UntilTheEnd

Actually im not hooked up anymore its been almost a year. I just thought, maybe its time to have closure and leave things on good terms while we go our separate ways. I was sad, then mad and now i see that it just wasnt meant to be and no one was to blame.

Closure? See what I mean? You're still hooked. You feel like there's still unfinished business right? I'll help you skip a few steps. Just talking to her will not necessarily help you with closure. In might have the reverse effect. You might open a can of worms.

Closure comes from within. You got to find closure within yourself.

You guys are broken up. There's nothing to fix or mend. If you were meant to be friends one day, then you will find each other and it will happen naturally. It's not suppose to be forced.

jenniepepsi · May 14, 2009, 05:12 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

Your find someone when your not looking. Sounds weird but believe me it is so true.

definitely true. I met my husband randomly and unexpectedly in the taco bell drive through! Lol

chuff · May 14, 2009, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

definately true. i met my husband randomly and unexpectedly in the taco bell drive thru! lol

I have to hear this whole story.