[nickshehe]

Though it seems your future is already decided for you.. another tip of advice when you're trying to win someone over- the whole "you do it too" business isn't going to help your situation at all..
I know as men we consider ourselves more logical than women in some things, which may or may not be true ( no need to open a debate here ). But my experience with women tells me that the "you do it too" thing just doesn't stand. However you word it - whether its politely or angrily it just doesn't get through.
An example:
Girlfriend does something that may bother me slightly.. can't think of an example but something stupid and meaningless.. I let it slide.. keep things going.. bottle it up.
I make the same mistake.. girlfriend goes mental.. "when did you stop caring? are you serious?? blablaba"
As a logical person, I say.. "honey, you did the exact same thing" - I list the whereabouts and frequency of this event.
Girlfriend gets even more furious - You lose even more points.
--
Kind of stepped away from the point here but this has happened in every relationship I've been in..

[ZigZag07]

I think you may be freakin out a little bit Too much!
Just chill.. she will eventually talk to you about it...
Texting isn't a good way to solve... face to face is...
But that's good you apologized, that shows you DO care.

[britster]

your right. i was such a little . i just gotta accept it now.

How long have the two of you been dating? I understand where you are coming from because me and my boyfriend are going through the same thing.. I broke up with him and he was so sad so I got back with him and he thinks its only pity and he is really paranoid and basically the same way you are

I can tell you this, I wanted space I didn't want to talk to him for a few days and see what would have happened. But he blew my phone up and that pushed me away even more if she loves you and truly cares about you... give her time and space and don't worry it will work its self out. I admit the tagged photo thing is a bit childish HOWEVER she is acting childish by not even given you a idea of what is going to happen with the two of you.

Goodluck sweetie... dont beat yourself up about it.:)

[Romefalls19]

Brit, maybe she didn't know exactly what she wanted so she needed time to think. You just admitted you did the same thing with your boyfriend. You told him you needed space, so in retrospect, you have in fact done the same. I'm not saying that's a bad thing at all, so please don't take this negatively. Everybody comes to points in their lives where they need to be alone and think. Some people simply cannot take that answer, like the poster, and they bug and bug and any chance of a getting back together gets thrown out the window.

Life throws everyone a thousand curve balls, sometimes you miss but sometimes you knock it out the park. The trick is, never be afraid to swing.

[squeaks77]

well she just dumped me. by ing text! after all we've been thorugh. she dumped me by text! thats how much i must mean to her! im heart broken again!

Well you did treat her like crap. Did you expect her to treat you like gold after that? She may just be angry, and maybe after a few days or even weeks the two of you can talk peacefully.

[srulik86]

I know I treated her so badly. But so did she last term. She treated me terribly and I forgave her. It took some time but I forgave her because I loved her. Right now she is doing what she did before and that is not answer any of my calls, only reply through text... if she bothers at all.she sent me a text yesterday saying 'your paranoia is the reason we use dto split and I had to see if it would happen again'... naturlaly it did and now she doesn't want to be with me. I'm so upset because I just can't help the way I get sometimes. Its my major flaw. She has flaws and makes mistakes, but I simple talk to her about it and its OK. But she won't except mine. Ts the first time I've been paranoid since January. I asked her to calm down, take a couple of days and don't be so hastey in throwing what we have away becaue of one stupid mistake I made. Naturally all emotions are running high now, so imnot going to contact her until sometime next week and simply say 'can we talk about this' because it cnat be over just like that. We were so in love last week. She told me she can't imagine being without me etc... yet now she doesn't want to know me at all. I'm so sad.

[srulik86]

I just know that now the best and only thing I can do is give her space and not contact her anymore. Because time heals and will hopefully heal for both of us. What do you all think? At least she could do is speak to me on the fone. She won't even pick up. I really do love this girl, I just got issues I need to deal with and I accept them.

[WhatN3XT]

As much as you would hate it... go spend a few hours with your friends and watch a BB game. Not only will you be proud of yourself, you will enjoy the time as an INDIVIDUAL. Forget them feelings for her just a few hours at a time. It works.

Once you can smile and laugh again is when she ( and a lot of girls ) will notice you again. It's confidence that they are seeking, not love. You can give her space all day, but once you start breaking away from the "WE" you will grow. It is hard dude, But once you start separating from it all, is when we give them the chance to make a choice. Either they come back or they walk away. WE (us) now have the power (choice) to say yes or no...

Just make yourself a priority, instead of a girl that may be just a girl. OK?

[srulik86]

Yea your right. This bascially is how we got back 2gther. I had complete confidence, didn't show any interest in her. And she got all scared of losing me and so came running back. No its on the other foot and she has complete control and now we'll never see each other again its hard because I won't get to show her. I just hope that after a few days she gets in contact , but I odnt think she will. I just hate the fact that it has all been done over text. How pathetic is that. That's why its so hard, because she won't even speak to me on the fone.

[srulik86]

She hasn't bothered rpelying to me... so do I send this text to her saying 'ok I spoke to someone last night and have realised that I just got to let you go if that's what you really want. I cnat bleve that the last time we'll ever speak is through a text, but if that's easier for you then OK. Goodluck with everything for the future, you're a great girl and will always remain someone special to me.'

Thing is I'm sure she is still pent u in emtion etc... so ill send that to her next week when she's calmed down a bit. What do you think?

[nickshehe]

I think you should kick yourself in the a**.. how many times are you going to screw up before you realize you're screwing up? What sort of reaction were you expecting when you sent her that message?
If I got a message like that from an ex in your situation I would automatically think:
"Right - you spoke to someone and he explained things to you..so you can't think things through for yourself..cant believe the last time we'll ever speak is through a text? I thought you knew I was avoiding drama but you may as well add to it." -I won't even expand on the whole good luck to the future BS we come up with.. I've done it before and now that MY feelings have settled I realized how much of a I sounded.. "Good luck in the future I love you so much I want you to be happy if this is what makes you happy" - That's BS.. what I really want is for her to stop being such a knob and to come back in my life, but it isn't happening - and guess what, she knows that you're going to text her again because you keep taking steps back EVERY TIME.
Dude , I hate to be harsh on you but you need to realize that the best thing to do is BACK OFF.. everyone keeps telling you that but you keep doing your own thing, I understand you're emotional and can't help it but the reason we're enforcing this on you is for your own good... You're already making plans on sending a text in a WEEK..
That spells pathetic man. Where is your dignity?
Start focusing on yourself and stop chasing this girl about.. If something is broken that cannot be fixed then LET IT BE.. If she wants to work things out she KNOWS WHERE TO FIND YOU.. the more you throw these sort of messages in her face the more you show how weak and powerless you are without her.. you're smothering her and you're being NEEDY.
You were an a**hole - that's your fault. You apologized.. she KNOWS you're sorry.. END OF STORY.. Why on earth are you dragging it on and on and adding more drama which is the one thing you're trying to avoid!
I know you're spending every second of the day thinking about this but you have to stay strong.

[srulik86]

I didn't actually send that text. And I'm not going to. And I'm not going to text her at all anymore. I was just going to text her once next week to wish her goodluck for the show. But even that shows my weakness. But how can I just dela with the fact that the love of my life has just dumped me with a ing text!

[nickshehe]

Srulik86 I imagine that's your birth date - I was also born 1986 - I'm 22 years old and I've been fortunate enough to have loved twice.. and I will love again because I'm convinced that there is more than 1-2-3-10+ people in this world of billions that can connect with me on an intimate level.
If you read the posts on this forum you will also notice that they ALL follow the same structure in being together and breaking up.. When we get dumped we all elaborate on our relationship, cause ours was "unique", it was "different" to all the others... "Im going to mention the time her mother made me a cake so the people in the forums take that into account when they give me advice".. but at the end of the day, we all go through the same experiences and we're all witness to that.
What I'm trying to conclude is that, yes, you loved her - and you lost her.. and if you got back together you would do things differently.. I would probably say the same for my situation as well.. But I would have never learned what I learned if this didn't happen the way it did, in this moment of my life... Implement these tools that you've absorbed from this heart break in your next relationship - and as impossible as it sounds to you right now, you will love again I can guarantee you that..
The worst thing you can do to yourself right now is sit around and mope about losing her. If you don't allow your brain to let her go then you won't my friend.. We're both young, we have a whole life ahead of us.. I don't think the next woman I will fall in love with is going to be the one I walk down the aisle.. But I'm prepared for the challenges that lie ahead.
I've loved and lost - felt betrayed by someone who I gave myself entirely too, 100%. She was my best friend in the world, and now she's a stranger in my eyes.
That hurts me beyond logical comprehension-but I have to look ahead..
Don't poison your youth by driving yourself crazy over a girl.. I've already lost three years of my life for my first love and I don't intend on doing that again.. Im mourning this lost relationship and I'm hurt by it but I have to stay positive this time.
Trust me -you will come out of this alive.

[Romefalls19]

Nickshehe, you have hit the nail on the head in your posts.

Srulik86, STOP texting her, don't call, don't write, delete her from every contact available. That means ALL the networking sites, her messenger, phone, and e-mail! You are acting like a little b*tch, no offense, we have all been there and acted like that. The biggest thing a girl likes in a guy is confidence, how do you expect to meet new women when you are constantly pining over some girl that broke up with you over text? Did that p*ss you off? Good, I'm glad because when people get angry they bring about change. This nut job doesn't deserve the goodluck text you are thinking of sending her next week! What part of NC didn't you understand? It doesn't mean, NC until I think of some lame excuse to talk to her. NC won't bring her back, she's gone, it's over and guess what. You're still breathing, you're heart is still beating and you're didn't die. Today is the first day of your new life, enjoy it. Do something that you couldn't normally do. How many times are you going to welcome her back into your life with open arms? And don't feed me that crap that "if she comes back, it's going to be different, I'm going to tell her this isn't going to fly anymore" MOVE ON! She didn't respect you enough to end it in person, so obviously she didn't think too highly of you, why would you want someone like that in your life?

[talaniman]

but how can I just dela with the fact that the love of my life has just dumped me with a ing text!

Men deal with the things life throws at us with dignity and self respect. That's what everyone has been telling you in both your threads.

[srulik86]

You right guys. I took myself on a day trip with myself and I've been going through stages... sometimes anger, sometimes sadness, sometimes joy. Its werid. Mainly anger that all I mean to her is a lousey ing text message. Yes I screwed up, but if she's going to run at the first hurdle and if a text is all I deserves then her. I don't need someone like that in my life. You guys are right. Me and her have been through this all before , we even went no conatc for a month then we got back 2gther and as much a si said things would be different, the last 3 weeks felt a bit different until bang... they fell back into old routines and patterns and I think that's why I became restless... it didn't feel like it wa sgoing anywhere. Time to move on. My band has a gig on Monday so I have that to look forward to... im shooting a film next month and last night I met with a very good friend of mine who has helped me beyond belief and will do in my career to which I am ever thankful. I have people who do care about me... including myself. OK yes today was hard seeing all the places we used to go 2gther. I wish I never sent her the tetx yesterday syaing take your time and don't rush into ending us. But I've now delated every possible contact I have with her... so no-way apart form next sundays party... am I going to have to speak to her or be around her. I don't doubt she'll get in contact at one point... maybe. But if she does I just got to ignore it because obviously we can't have a future if she runs at the first hurdle. Oh well. Bring on the next one!haha