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RUSS6253 · May 11, 2008, 11:03 PM

We have been married for 25 years one week ago I find out my wife has been a whore for most of those years she is 45 change of life is obvious, my question is will she ever stop being a whore,or is she doomed, has given up her family and grandkids to be with someone else.

Greg Quinn · May 11, 2008, 11:16 PM

I'm sorry you are going through this most bitter of pains right now, and after so many years... You must be in a state of terror and shock.
But, I'm not sure. Did she run out on the Kids/Grandkids? Has she left you for the other man? I think you are saying she's 45 and changed her life and its obvious why. I'm not sure if she is doomed, it does sound a little immature of her to leave the family behind. I think it would be nice if you could repost your question with a few more details and maybe refine your question to mean "Doomed" to be religious? Its hard to say someone is doomed especially if we don't know why they did or what they did etc...

RUSS6253 · May 12, 2008, 01:30 AM

She came home one evening put her head in her hands and said(cryed) to myself and two daughters with granddaughters present aged 10mths & 4 years that she didn't want this life anymore,we were just stunned, since then (april 26) I have obtained information of numerous affairs, brothel activities in parks, pubs, and a lot of unsaviory stories, this all came from my daughter in law who was manipulated by my wife for 11 years after her mother died of cancer when she was 16. My question again will my wife realise what she has sacrificed and do you think she will want to come back to her family someday, I read that whores are associated with mental illness, but how do I get her the help she needs if this is true. Or like I said is she doomed!

450donn · May 12, 2008, 08:32 AM

By whore you are saying that she sold herself for money? If this is the case, unless and until she decides to change her life style there is not a lot you can do except divorce her and cut her off from the kids. I do not advocate this lightly, but if she was a prostitute for many of your 25 years together then I don't see much else for you to do.

thoughtiwastheman · May 12, 2008, 08:44 AM

There's nothing you can do. Let her go and make sure those kids are well taken care of. Humans are free spirited people and as such we have the tendency to become selfish and do what we want without thinking of others. It seems like she allowed her indulges to take the best of her, or that she suffered greatly and became lost after her mother past away. I would see into it whether she gave up on life and her family because of the death of her mother instead of her just being a "whore" like you say. There is a huge problem here and I think she needs help unless this was the lifestyle she had always wanted but had been forced to submerge her desires because she got married and had a family. Don't be too quick to point the finger at her is all I'm saying. One question though, how was she before you guys got married? How did you meet her? Where did you meet her? Were you guys introduced by someone else? Answers to these questions could reveal a lot about the person she is, the person she was, and the person she has become. Good luck and make sure to keep a sharp mind for yourself and for what has remained of the family.

Fr_Chuck · May 12, 2008, 09:04 AM

You have two choices, forgive and hope she changes, forgive and accept her behavior, or leave her,
We can not tell you what you should do, for myself, I would expect she would be living elsewhere for now till things could be worked out

Choux · May 12, 2008, 03:13 PM

Perhaps part mid-life crisis, part disappointment in you as a marriage partner.

When people stop and realize that they only have one life and youth has slipped away... that can create a lot of anxiety and prod a person to think about their present life and if they have any satisfaction and happiness.

Perhaps she is looking for something real that she feels she does not get from her *role* as wife and mother and grandmother... she may feel her real self slipping away and in desperation has moved on.

Tell me, were you or your wife drinkers?

Greg Quinn · May 12, 2008, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by Choux

Perhaps part mid-life crisis, part disappointment in you as a marriage partner.

When people stop and realize that they only have one life and youth has slipped away...........that can create a lot of anxiety and prod a person to think about their present life and if they have any satisfaction and happiness.

Perhaps she is looking for something real that she feels she does not get from her *role* as wife and mother and grandmother....she may feel her real self slipping away and in desperation has moved on.

Tell me, were you or your wife drinkers?

-----------
He does say she has been doing this for the better part of 25yrs.

Choux · May 12, 2008, 03:34 PM

Yeah, but now she *left*...

bushg · May 12, 2008, 03:52 PM

If I were you I would be more worried about myself. 1st I would start with a check up and make sure that she did not give me a STD. I would get involved in some type of counseling and take a real close look at myself and see how the heck I could be so blind as to not see this happening for all of these years. I would not concern myself with her getting help. Let her do that on her own, that is if she wants to.

squeaks77 · May 20, 2008, 05:50 PM

Have you at least asked her about these "affairs"? Angry children lie all the time (not that yours are) but at least confront her about it and get her story.
And.. . Have you been calling her a whore your whole marriage? Have you taken care of her needs or have you two become too comfortable and you assume she will always be there only because you are married?
25 years is a lot of marriage to just walk away from.