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    Lucky098's Avatar
    Lucky098 Posts: 2,594, Reputation: 543
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    #21

    Jun 21, 2010, 07:21 PM

    Hmm.. this is a tough one. I think I would be a bit upset if my boyfriend had a picture of him and one of his female friends as a display screen on either a computer or phone instead of him and I.

    You need to tell her how you feel. How is she ever going to know that something bothers you if you never say anything?

    Just approach the topic politely.. maybe even a bit on the humours side. Coming off as a control freak boyfriend isn't going to make her want to change the picture.. instead, she might chose her friend over you.

    Choose your words carefully and don't wait to bring it up during an argument.

    The guy is obviously her friend. She is obviously more attracted to you then her friend. I don't see a need to be worried, but, you do need to tell her what bothers you. This is your relationship too.. I'm pretty sure she would be questioning you if you had a picture on display of you and your female friend.


    I'm not quite understanding what you're asking... Is she saying that you "earned" her body? Do you know if she has been sleeping with other men before you?

    A bit more detail please :)


    If neither one of you have a car and live far from each other, I think it's a bit unfair to automatically assume she is cheating on you. From the sounds of it, you're not making an effort to see her either.

    If she's only been with one other guy.. then I doubt other people have "earned" her.

    If you don't trust her, get out of the relationship. There is no sense in feeling cheated on when you don't even know if she is. You can't assume she is cheating just because her friend is.

    How is she being sneaky? Does she go out with people and not tell you? Does she do things you don't agree with knowing you don't agree with it?

    You two have been together for a month. Already you are having doubts. Get out now and save yourself, and her, a headache


    This is your third post about the same thing...

    IF YOU Don't TRUST HER GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP!

    1 month is nothing in the dating world.

    Find a girl who is on your level and who hasn't been with someone already. You might be happier.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #22

    Jun 21, 2010, 07:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucky098 View Post
    This is your third post about the same exact thing...

    IF YOU DONT TRUST HER GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP!

    1 month is nothing in the dating world.

    Find a girl who is on your level and who hasnt been with someone already. You might be happier.
    Now there's an idea!
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #23

    Jun 21, 2010, 07:34 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucky098 View Post
    If neither one of you have a car and live far from each other, I think its a bit unfair to automatically assume she is cheating on you. From the sounds of it, you're not making an effort to see her either.

    If she's only been with one other guy.. then I doubt other people have "earned" her.

    If you dont trust her, get out of the relationship. There is no sense in feeling cheated on when you dont even know if she is. You can't assume she is cheating just because her friend is.

    How is she being sneaky?? Does she go out with people and not tell you? Does she do things you dont agree with knowing you dont agree with it??

    You two have been together for a month. Already you are having doubts. Get out now and save yourself, and her, a headache
    Lucky has a lot of good points. Listen to him instead of an ex boyfriend who runs around spreading gossip.
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #24

    Jun 21, 2010, 08:16 PM

    Just concentrate on being the best you, you can be for yourself, the rest should fall into place naturally.

    If its to be it will be, if not you'll soon know.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #25

    Jun 21, 2010, 08:19 PM

    That's the fun of dating and being in a relationship -- every day is an opportunity to learn more about the other person and find out how you can fit into that person's life.
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #26

    Jun 21, 2010, 08:29 PM

    I don't think you're old enough to know what you're saying when you say she is a hoe, which is a term for a prostitute in the USA, I believe.

    You shouldn't spead rumours around like that about anyone, unless you are aware of what it means, and even then its still not nice to call anyone that.
    parisrose's Avatar
    parisrose Posts: 61, Reputation: 28
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    #27

    Jun 21, 2010, 10:53 PM

    She is not a hoe!! Why would you even think that of your girlfriend, that is horrible.

    But think about it , she said you have earned her. Hoe's don't allow man to earn them, they just give.

    She probably means you have earned by you treating her well. She is giving you her heart.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #28

    Jun 22, 2010, 06:52 AM

    Dude, you are so good at taking a small thing like a computer picture, and blowing it up into an international disaster. My gosh, talk to her in a calm, cool, collected way, and have some fun getting to know her over the phone, and get some bus fare to go see her, and go out to the park, or where ever young people in your town hang out. That's what a relationship is about, having fun, NOT tripping out over the small stuff, that pops into your mind.

    Your insecurity, and assuming and presuming, and guessing, and professing will be your down fall! It will ruin a good time to be had, and enjoyed.

    Your making this harder than what it should be, and that can't be fun.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #29

    Jun 22, 2010, 07:12 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by davi0680 View Post
    Me and my girl friend is in the 11th grade and just started going out. we just been together for a month.the school year is over now and it is the summer. we only been out of school for a week and i only saw her once.we both stay on different sides of town and we both don't have a car. she always tell me that i've earned her. but its hard to go to her house.she tell me that it is okay that we havn't had sex yet.but i feel like if she is not having sex with me then she is having sex with someone else. i already feels like she is sneaky.i am the second boy friend she ever had.her ex was her first everything but he also thought she was sneaky too.her best friend is even cheating on her boyfriend.i just want to know can i trust her?
    You sound like a very insecure person.
    You have been dating this girl 1 month and you are accusing her of stuff based in hear say. Are you upset about the picture or are you upset because you are not seeing her and having sex with her?
    You either trust a person or you don't.

    is my girlfriend a hoe?
    Quote Originally Posted by davi0680 View Post
    we only have been going out for a month and she said i've earned her.could it be others who have earned her too
    You need to leave her alone, not because I think she is a hoe but because you are insecure and immature.
    I think you jumped on it to date her and now that she is not "giving it up" to you, you're pissed off. Get over it and leave her alone.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #30

    Jun 22, 2010, 09:51 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    You sound like a very insecure person.
    You have been dating this girl 1 month and you are accusing her of stuff based in hear say. Are you upset about the picture or are you upset because you are not seeing her and having sex with her?
    You either trust a person or you don't.

    is my girlfriend a hoe?

    You need to leave her alone, not because I think she is a hoe but because you are insecure and immature.
    I think you jumped on it to date her and now that she is not "giving it up" to you, you're pissed off. Get over it and leave her alone.
    I don't know what in the world is wrong with you! Leave her alone.
    ohsohappy's Avatar
    ohsohappy Posts: 1,564, Reputation: 314
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    #31

    Jun 24, 2010, 08:56 PM

    Wow, If I were her and found out that you asked if your girlfriend was a hoe, you wouldn't have a girlfriend much longer. You're obviously not ready to be with her, so just break up and leave this poor girl be.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
    Uber Member
     
    #32

    Jun 24, 2010, 08:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ohsohappy View Post
    Wow, If I were her and found out that you asked if your girlfriend was a hoe, you wouldn't have a girlfriend much longer. You're obviously not ready to be with her, so just break up and leave this poor girl be.
    Takes all kinds... Never heard that word growing up.
    aimee_tt's Avatar
    aimee_tt Posts: 340, Reputation: 143
    Full Member
     
    #33

    Jun 24, 2010, 09:50 PM

    My Gosh.

    My boyfriend has had photos of him and other girls as his picture. Doesn't bother me one bit. He changes his photo when he sees a new photo of him and he likes it.

    Doesn't mean he's cheating on me. Maybe get a nice photo of you and her that she likes if she doesn't put it up then tell her how you feel.

    In the beginning of my relationship I didn't see my boyfriend often but we got through it.

    Ok as for calling her a 'hoe' becauseshe said you have earned her. I say things like that to my boyfriend to tease him.

    Doesn't mean she's a 'hoe'.

    Maybe you should re think this relationship...
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #34

    Jun 25, 2010, 07:14 AM

    Hoe is not a nice word. Unless you're describing a Farm Tool. A hoe in my neck of the woods is a tool that you use in a garden.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #35

    Jun 25, 2010, 10:56 AM

    How old is she? How often do you see each other face-to-face?

    Do you want to be a father at 18 years of age? Looking forward to diapers instead of a diploma? Then keep your pants on. Contraceptives are not 100% effective and better to be safe than a teen parent.

    I am wondering if she made the 'earned' comment as a way to keep your interest. Depending on her age and the people around her (mainly the males in her life such as her ex and you), it could be what she expects out out of a relationship. How many guys didn't give her the time of day because she wouldn't have sex with them? How long did her ex stick around because she did?

    How long has that picture been her default pic? Longer than a month? Does she have a picture of the two of you together? Are there any special circumstances attached to the picture like someone's birthday, a party, the friend going away. etc.

    How many girls have you had sex with? What is your default picture? Does she think you 'get around' (to use an old phrase)?
    davi0680's Avatar
    davi0680 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #36

    Sep 24, 2010, 09:42 PM
    My girlfriend is acting a little strange
    My girlfriend and I have been going out for 5 months.it all started when my phone was turned off Friday. So we haven't talked on the phone for a week.but on the other hand we see each other in school Monday through Friday.so going back to the beginning of the week on Monday my bus arrived at the school,I got off and saw her standing there.I just waved and kept walking.everything seemed to go by smooth we also did a lot of kissing and some other things afterschool.the next day on Tuesday I got off the bus again and did the same thing,waved and kept walking.but this time she was standing with one of her friends.after I walked off I thought to my self(was I wrong to walk off and not give a her hug)i don't know.so when we got to lunch everything was seeming to go by all right,until she didn't meet me after school.at that point I didn't really think much of it.later on that night I couldn't talk to her because of the phone being off.so I wrote her on Facebook by writing a message to her and it go straight to her phone.usually she would write me straight back but she didn't.that was really strange to me.so Wednesday came,that morning I didn't see her.when we got in lunch every thing was kind of normal.but she still didn't meet me after school.so I thought to myself something is up.thursday came and she really started acting strange.when we got in lunch she was just looking all bored and things.so I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing.so I asked her next is she sure and she said that she was.at that time I felt as if she's mad at me or something or is there some one else.so next I got really serious and asked (do you still like and love me like you use to or are you getting bored of me)after I asked her that she kind of thought it was funny.that made me really mad then.because she she's starting to act like she doesn't care a lot about me like she use too.so like again after school she didn't meet me again.later on I wrote her on Facebook and she didn't write back.so I wrote again hey in two more hours.after that she wrote back in 30 minutes saying hi.so we started wrinting each other for about 20 minutes then she just stopped.so that kind of PISSED me off.friday we get in school and I didn't see her in till third block.when I saw her she came and gave me a hug and brought me a hershey's chocolate bar.then I thought well maybe she do care about me if she thought to buy me chocolate.when we got in lunch we started talking about things that she did the day before so I listened.10 minutes before lunch was over I asked her if she wanted to walk out of the senior walk way and go walk around.while we were walking the halls I holded her hand and told her I miss her.we kept walking and I asked her could I come over her house tomorrow.as I looked at her I could tell she was thinking about it.I think she lied. But she told me that her mom was off so I couldn't come over.in her mind I knew she wanted me to come over but I think she feels as I just want her for sex now.we never had sex before but we have did a lot of other things.all I want to know, is she acting strange to prove a point that if I really love her I will chase after her and does not need sex from her to be in a relationship with her or is she acting like that because there's some one else.she do talk to other boys on the phone now though.I just want to know if she still love me and care about me.BECAUSE I LOVE HER A lot!!
    Psyle's Avatar
    Psyle Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #37

    Sep 25, 2010, 12:09 AM

    Forget this girl and focus on school. She obviously doesn't put the same effort into the relationship as you. Don't put up with these games and drama. Simple.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #38

    Sep 25, 2010, 07:07 AM

    What's good for the goose, is good for the gander. For one what boyfriend just waves at his girl, and keep walking? Not once but twice. Sure you may have not given it a second thought, but obviously she did, and I wonder what she thinks about that? Hmmm. Though she said nothing, I would guess she thought you should have explained yourself.

    You can't expect someone to cater to you, when you ignore them, especially when you didn't acknowledge them, or their feelings.

    Its interesting that when she treats you as she thinks you have treated her, now your all worried about the competition. I would pay closer attentions to how you treat this girl, before someone else does show her more attention, and treats her better.

    Being inexperienced in a relationship is on thing, being uncaring is another. Either way pay a lot more attention to your partner.

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