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-   -   My boyfriend is mad at me and says we are done (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=733661)

  • Feb 11, 2013, 04:48 PM
    Msbrooks
    My boyfriend is mad at me and says we are done
    My boyfriend is mad at me for sending a Facebook message to my ex boyfriend and now he thinks I've cheated on him and that I'm cheating on him and I haven't cheated or anything. He will respond to me sometimes but not all the time and he does not call me or text me first. I am very sad because we have a child together and we were supposed to be getting married. What do I do to get him to speak to me and to come home since he is at his Moms house right now?
  • Feb 11, 2013, 04:49 PM
    Wondergirl
    How old is he? And you?
  • Feb 11, 2013, 05:00 PM
    Msbrooks
    I'm 27 and he is 22 I know the age is a lot but I've been with him for almost three years and its sad to say that he won't speak to me I know when he gets mad to let him cool down but this time I'm feeling like I've lost him :-(
  • Feb 11, 2013, 05:03 PM
    Wondergirl
    Why did you contact your ex, and how did your boyfriend find out?
  • Feb 11, 2013, 05:06 PM
    Msbrooks
    Facebook he messaged me and then I responded about the super bowl game and I said hey your team is winning boo and he looked at my phone while I was taking a shower and he seen it and got mad at me but I never cheated on him or anything and he keep saying I ed up smh I'm so hurt and upset but I act like I don't care
  • Feb 11, 2013, 05:10 PM
    Msbrooks
    Boyfriend is upset
    How long should I wait until I contact my boyfriend?
  • Feb 11, 2013, 05:16 PM
    Wondergirl
    Why is he looking at your phone? Do you check up on him?
  • Feb 11, 2013, 05:26 PM
    Msbrooks
    I don't check up on him but I can tell he is insecure and he has been hurt in the past
  • Feb 11, 2013, 05:37 PM
    Wondergirl
    Allowing him to check your phone makes him more secure and trusting?

    (P.S. Do not EVER give out your phone and any passwords for anyone to check.)
  • Feb 11, 2013, 05:45 PM
    Msbrooks
    No it just makes things worse I guess
  • Feb 11, 2013, 05:52 PM
    Wondergirl
    There is absolutely no reason in the world why your communication with your ex was wrong. Your boyfriend had no reason to be worried. If he is this worried about something so innocent, you will have a long and miserable future with him every time you even look at another guy.

    Take a breath and some time off. Don't contact him. Let him get over this and come to you. If he talks to you again, do not apologize, but strongly suggest couples counseling. You two need to get some things ironed out before marriage.
  • Feb 11, 2013, 05:56 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by msbrooks
    How long should I wait until I contact my boyfriend?

    We'll need more details here... why is he upset? How long has it been since you've spoken?

    >threads merged<
  • Feb 11, 2013, 05:58 PM
    Wondergirl
    You don't contact him. Wait for him to contact you. The ball is in his court.
  • Feb 11, 2013, 06:35 PM
    Msbrooks
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    We'll need more details here...why is he upset? How long has it been since you've spoken?

    >threads merged<

    It's only been one day but he communicates with me well and its bothering me that he is not calling me. I know he can stretch it out for a week or two and I texted him and told him I as going to call him on Friday when he is not mad at me anymore and when he can speak to me in a non angry tone. He just texted me and said that he is calm. So I texted back and told him when ever he wants to talk to call me and that I will talk to him later and I said fiance' at the end. No response yet
  • Feb 11, 2013, 06:36 PM
    fredg
    Your boyfriend lives with his Mom? And you have a child by him. I am sorry to hear about this. I don't understand why you communicated with your ex.
    Please try talking with him again. Any relationship must have honesty, respect, and caring to be a good one. It might be that he is through with this. Have you both tried talking with a marriage counselor? Or any counselor? That sometimes helps. Good luck, and best of everything.
  • Feb 11, 2013, 06:38 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Msbrooks View Post
    It's only been one day but he communicates with me well and its bothering me that he is not calling me. I know he can stretch it out for a week or two and I texted him and told him I as gonna call him on Friday when he is not mad at me anymore and when he can speak to me in a non angry tone. He just texted me and said that he is calm. So I texted back and told him when ever he wants to talk to call me and that I will talk to him later and I said fiance' at the end. no response yet

    I would follow the advice you've been given... don't communicate with him. Let him communicate with you first. He knows he can call you and he also knows he has the ball in his court.
  • Feb 11, 2013, 06:39 PM
    Msbrooks
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    You don't contact him. Wait for him to contact you. The ball is in his court.

    Ok well now I can start my no contacting him. Since he texted me and I did just respond to him and he stated that he was calm because from an earlier text I asked him to stop being mad at me and that I see he needs space and a break so I'm going to give him one I guess that made him respond I'm not sure if it did or didn't but I'm not going to be contacting him
  • Feb 11, 2013, 06:45 PM
    Msbrooks
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by fredg View Post
    Your boyfriend lives with his Mom? and you have a child by him. I am sorry to hear about this. I don't understand why you communicated with your ex.
    Please try talking with him again. Any relationship must have honesty, respect, and caring to be a good one. It might be that he is through with this. Have you both tried talking with a marriage counselor? or any counselor? That sometimes helps. Good luck, and best of everything.

    No he does not live with his Mom we live together and he is visiting his Mom but because he is mad at me he is not saying when he is going to come back home. He is not really saying anything to reassure me to not think he is not upset and it bothers me he did however just say that he is calm I'm not sure what that means but I guess he is not mad at the moment
  • Feb 11, 2013, 06:47 PM
    Msbrooks
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    I would follow the advice you've been given....don't communicate with him. Let him communicate with you first. He knows he can call you and he also knows he has the ball in his court.

    Yeah I just hate when I have to be ignored for something so stupid and that he is so called hurt by something so stupid to me and it's quite annoying
  • Feb 11, 2013, 07:52 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Msbrooks View Post
    Yeah I just hate when I have to be ignored for something so stupid and that he is so called hurt by something so stupid to me and it's quite annoying

    Well, it's time to ignore and wait.

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