I said something about an ex boyfriend's penis size to my current boyfriend
I'm fifty something and very much in love with my current boyfriend, also in his fifities, we were lovers back when we were 16. We have rekindled our relationship after 37 years apart. He's divorced and I have been separated for over two years. We are very much in love and plan on a long, everlasting relationship. We've been together for a year and nine months.
Before I was married, from high school on into college, I had this other boyfriend for about four years, he was a cheater and I finally realized I couldn't change him. I cheated on my husband a couple of times with this old college days boyfriend, once about thirteen years ago and again about three years ago. When my present boyfriend found out about it, he had a lot of questions. My present boyfriend can't understand why I cheated on my, then husband with my old cheating college boyfriend. I began to feel cornered and had been drinking a bit, and I told him I cheated with my old college boyfriend because he has a large penis.
My present boyfriend finally stopped asking questions, but now he thinks I think about this old boyfriend and about his size and I feel bad that I chose those words to make him stop hounding me about why I cheated with this guy. My current boyfriend is an average size guy and is great in bed. I have no thoughts of ever going back to the college boyfriend and I love my current guy so much.
It's been over a year since I told him this and he still says it bothers him that I said it. We're both love each other very much and are hoping to move in with each other, he just can't get over me telling him that the guy I cheated with, has a large penis. Is there something I can do or say to make this better? I have apologized. Or, does my current boyfriend have to deal with this all by himself and if so. What do we do?
I feel badly for saying it to begin with, but what's said is said.