Ask Me Help Desk - He cheated on me now what

This man is the father of my only child and I am now scared to love, trust, or forgive him. Ok so here is how it starts, we use to date and I got pregnant a 3 months after being with him. We broke up because he cheated on me with my sister. He told me he didn't want her and all the other bull but in the end he had a baby with her (No we broke it off by the time she got pregnant). So long story short he ended up getting with her and the everyhting went bad. Eventually we hooked back up and just resently did a lot of things happen. I had been trying him to leave a young lady alone (No chilling W/her or talkming on the phone, or sleeping together). Well I talked to her aon the phone and she claimed that he was cheating and since he had a past history of cheating I believed her and not him. I went and destoryed EVERYTHING I could think of that belonged to him and now he is out of a car. We are together right now ONLY because I had proof that something's she was saying was a lie. I had already told him to stop communication with her and he didn't but he didn't cheat either and now all the trust that we had gotten back we have lost. I have started going through his phone again thinking that he is deleting numurous things or when he leaves out I think he going to see another female. I love him and we have a better relationship than we did in the past but should I stay? After all this I have been here but is it possible we will make it long term or do I just need to leave now?

You need to leave this bad actor alone. If you went ballistic and ruined all of his items and had him car-less, lady, you certainly have a very bad temper. This guy certainly knows how to play you like a violin. Getting your sister pregnant while you are pregnant? He's worse than despicable. He is definitely not for you EVER with a history like his - I would suggest you show him the door while he is still able to walk and leave of his own accord.

If I were you I would take my baby and RUN far away from him. He is a dog! If you stick around you are setting yourself up for pain and misery.

Healthy relationships are based on mutual trust and respect. When cheating enters a relationship, the trust and respect are fractured, if not broken.

I'm sure you feel devastated that the man you care about has been unfaithful several times. Whether the two of you were having relationship problems prior to his cheating is irrelevant. If he was unhappy, he should have broken up with you, not cheated on you. Cheating should never be excused as a rational approach to dealing with other problems within a relationship. Don’t let your self-esteem take a nosedive over this. Your boyfriend didn’t cheat because you weren’t good enough – he cheated because he made a decision to do the wrong thing.

Ultimately, you’ve just got to follow your heart. You've already given him a second chance and that hasn't worked out at all. If you know deep down that you will never be able to forgive him or move past this, just make a clean break from the relationship – and move on. How can you ever trust him again? If he says he's at the supermarket how will you know this is true? Losing the trust is the hardest part. Can you live with someone not knowing if they will do it again? Most leopards never change their spots!!

He cheated on you with your sister and you took him back. Now you and her have a baby by this guy? For your own piece of mind leave him alone and let him do whoever he want because no matter what you do you can't change his ways nor make him change.

The only person you can work on changing is you and change starts with you. You are wasting too much energy on this guy and he is taking you out of your element and turning you into someone you don't want to be. You might do something crazy enough to land yourself in jail the next time acting out of rage and what good is that for your child. Close this chapter of your life and start a new one>>you can do it.

Wow, you took him back after he banged your sister and got her pregnant too? He has to be the smoothest guy to accomplish this. Leave him alone, it's not a healthy guy to have in your life

I'm with Rome on this one, you must be one of the most forgiving people in the world. He cheated on you, not with just anybody, WITH YOUR SISTER. AND GOT HER PREGNANT! This is not healthy at all, you need to get as far away from this guy as you can. There are plenty of decent, loyal, and sane guys out there, get your head out of this mess, re-gather yourself, and let one find you.

Get custody,child support and possible visitation rights taken care of,concentrate on being a great mom and,obviously,kick the jerk to the kerb.
Hopefully,you have some decent family members left that will help you out.

He is on child Support for both children

He live with me and still

Good-he should,so that doesn't make him Prince Charming-he is a serial cheat,a liar and you are not in a relationship.
You're in a toxic mess.
Really-where is your selfrespect?
I realise that you are hurting, but wake up,smell the coffee and dump him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zymier07

He live with me and still

Lady, you need to kick him to the curb NOW before you find yourself pregnant again by this guy. If you have to come here asking us what we think about this situation you just may want our answers or you just may want us to hold your hand. Sorry. We don't hold anyone's hand when they don't need holding. In your case I feel sorry for the 2 kids involved but they didn't ask to be here. You, on the other hand, are old enough to know the guy is a creep and is not to be trusted. So what's your problem? You love him? You need to remember you and your child come first. He would not even be a distant second or third or fifty third for that matter. He will never change except to get worse. Just remember what I've said. You change yourself and get the heck away from him. Just be sure he pays his child support to you so you may raise your child with some financial help. Your sister will always be your sister. That will never change. But this guy can be totally out of the picture in both your life and your sister's life if you two smarten up and see him for what he truly is. He's a user of women period.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zymier07

This man is the father of my only child and I am now scared to love, trust, or forgive him. Ok so here is how it starts, we use to date and I got pregnant a 3 months after being with him. We broke up because he cheated on me with my sister. He told me he didnt want her and all the other bull but in the end he had a baby with her (No we broke it off by the time she got pregnant). So long story short he ended up getting with her and the everyhting went bad. Eventually we hooked back up and just resently did alot of things happen. I had been trying him to leave a young lady alone (No chilling W/her or talkming on the phone, or sleeping together). Well I talked to her aon the phone and she claimed that he was cheating and since he had a past history of cheating I believed her and not him. I went and destoryed EVERYTHING I could think of that belonged to him and now he is out of a car. We are together right now ONLY because I had proof that somethings she was saying was a lie. I had already told him to stop communication with her and he didnt but he didnt cheat either and now all the trust that we had gotten back we have lost. I have started going through his phone again thinking that he is deleting numurous things or when he leaves out I think he going to see another female. I love him and we have a better relationship than we did in the past but should I stay? After all this I have been here but is it possible we will make it long term or do I just need to leave now?

This sounds like you and he are in a cycle of together, cheating (some things may have been a lie, but were they all), and no change.

Break the cycle before you find out that he has a child on the way with this last person.

Snooping and worrying about your mate's behavior are bad examples of healthy relationships to raise your child with. It may not seem like it will affect the child now, but children pick up on tensions in the home at very early ages.