I need to apoligize for some problems I've caused. That I am not the bad person he thinks I am, that I am ashamed of myself because of the problems that had happened in the past 3 months of getting his daughter in trouble. Beacause of seeing her behind his back hence the fact he thought I am a bad guy. Which I'm not. And I can prove it to him. I don't drink/smoke/do drugs/even party. I want her to do good. She's been doing good, I've encourage her to get good grades and stop smoking/drinking/parties/hanging out with bad influences. But her dad doesn't see that of me. He just thinks that I am a guy that gets her in trouble.


I need to talk to him. Because that's just the right thing to do. So I want to call him to make an arragement for a meeting. And tell him and show him what kind of person I am. And convince him to let me be with his daughter.

I just thought some advice would be good. Thanks.

Is this the same girl that's using you from your other post? Her dad sounds like he's doing you a favor by getting you away from her. As Tal said over on your other post your too far gone.

Dude, I'm the nice guy and I'm emotional and even I'm rolling my eyes at your behavior with this woman. I can only imagine what's going through her mind. You know other than keeping you on her leash.

It sounds to me like you are trying to be her dad. That will cause resentment from her point of view later on when all she sees is this father figure in you that is trying to protect her from the world. It's very noble of you but... really she needs to explore life herself and drinking and having fun is part of being young, obviously within reason and I understand your concern and people can go down slippery paths. You cannot protect her from everything though and remember that she already has 1 father, why does she need another??

Let her find out for herself and quit trying to wrap her up in cotton wool because the truth is, she will resent you for that later on if not already...

You'll be all right my friend.. I have not read your other thread yet, but if what Chuff says is true, don't let people use you and be very prudent to take steps to avoid this. You are worth more than just being someone's puppy dog that can be used left, right and centre.

As for the father, have you tried talking to him? That would be a good start, maybe take him out for a drink or something, just try and connect with him. You don't have to pour your heart out about how much you love his daughter.. that might scare him and don't tell him about your concerns about her not drinking, smoking or going to parties e.t.c Remember, HE is the father..!

Good Luck with it!

If you could keep it to a straightforward apology for what you did in the past, that would be plenty. A short phone call would do. Don't even mention his daughter, what she's doing, your undying love for her, or any of that. The more you go on about that, the less effective your apology will be.

Back off, back way off! You need to leave this girl and her family completely alone. Your obsession is unnatural and unwanted. Your persistence only shows how much help you need. So get professional help before your behavior gets you in deep trouble.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Back off, back way off! You need to leave this girl and her family completely alone. Your obsession is unnatural and unwanted. Your persistence only shows how much help you need. So get professional help before your behavior gets you in deep trouble.

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I couldn't agree more. He's obsessed. As Geoff said he acts like her own father, and tells her how to behave, looking to control her. He can't see that she taunts him with the ex. Now he's getting her father involved. What the hell is wrong here?

Tal's right if you keep up this obsession it's only going to grow. What's worse is she's using your emotions and she toys with you. Point blank she's smart enough too know how to toy with you and your emotions but she's too stupid to know how to handle it when it gets out of control which is where this is going. If she was as smart as she thinks she is she'd end this now.

Maybe her father doesn't like you because he sees all this. I sure as hell would tell my daughter to drop you. What are you going to do when this relationship ends? It's going too, one way or another. This isn't a lifetime match I'm sorry to say. Are you prepared to handle you emotions? Tal is right. I think you need to see a professional councelor. Please for you own sake do that. If you got to get something off your chest post it here, we'll try to help but this is unnatural at this point. This is so unhealthy.

Eisofrx,

Okay, here's a girls perspective... You should listen to these 5 Wise Men, who provided you advice above. Seems an extra 2 needed to be added for this one. Never mind.

Eisofrx, I am sure you think you love her and I do not doubt that you care for her. The healthist thing for you and everyone concerend, is to leave this alone and yes, to seek someone to talk to, as in professional help. Just to get all that stuff that you are feeling off your chest.

There is something very concerning in your words. It appears to me, that you want to almost "expose" what you think are this girls faults, to her Father, to help your "case" so to speak, in his eyes. It seems you are willing to do anything to get this girl back, no matter what harm to her or anyone else.

I also have a funny feeling, that you are an incredibly good person, you just are all balled up in emotions and your good logical thinking is being blurred by all of this.

Please, if you wish, stay in touch and let us know how you are doing. Also, seeking a good professional, to help sift through these difficult emotions, would really be doing something very good for yourself.

Please, let this young girl and her Father deal with whatever issues you think she may have, and you just take better care of the things you need to work through.

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Originally Posted by Allheart

I also have a funny feeling, that you are an incredibly good person, you just are all balled up in emotions and your good logical thinking is being blurred by all of this.

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I agree. I think he is a good person, or think he's doing the right thing from an emotional stand point. But from a logical and clear thinking stand point he's so far gone. I say this as an emotional man who has dealt with and done some extremely stupid things when I'm emotional and later thought when I was clear headed that "wow that was really a stupid thing I did." My intentions were always good but the results were usually devastating.
This is his first relationship so this is all new to him. He's never been in love before. That being said, he's never been used before. And he's being used and in love at the same time.

Your right, he wants her father to "side" with him. You can't force people to like you. In fact when you try that it repels them. I hope he wakes up here.

Well, I at least want to apoligize for some problems that happened, and so now her dad thinks I'm a bad person. And I want to get that off my back with him. Because its killing me.

I am so sorry you are hurting so bad. First, when you apologize, it is to express how sorry you are, and I know that you are. But it is not to try and change how someone sees you or thinks of you. Depending on what happened, a father is a father, and any words that you say to him, may just not be heard the way you wish to express them.

What type of relationship have you had with her father? I think I remember it was not so good.

I think, for right now, you just let some time separate you and her father, as well as her.
Is there someone that you can talk to, like a counciller, that can really help you unravel all of this?

If you even approach her father, right now, with you being so upset, it just may not turn out the way you had hoped for.

Let some time pass, to settle things down a bit. Please don't let this overtake you.

As a mother of a soon to be dating daughter, I think it is time I put my 2 cents in. You have WONDERFUL advice here and I can't really add anymore. However, I want to say that in you talking to her father it further demostrates how possibly controlling he may see you.

If you want to be a man then you need to back off. WAY OFF!! There is nothing you are going to do to change his impression of you. Fathers are WAY protective of their daughters, whether their daughters are good or bad girls. It seems as though he already has a bad taste in his mouth, you don't need to make it worse.

Just leave them alone, that would be the adult thing to do.

Is this the girl you said:

"I guess you could call her a slut?":eek:

In this thread?

I really hope not, if it is then you need to stay FAR AWAY from her father.

I'm not upset. I just want to say I'm sorry. I've already let a lot of time go by.
That's why I need to do it as soon as possible.

Grow up and move on with your life, honestly. You need to let this whole episode in your life go.

Eis, it is time to move on and learn from this experience.

I do not know if everyone has read all the threads you have started but I have and I refer you back to this one
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...r-46950-3.html
This whole thing with your g/f is so out of hand, why drag her father in this. You haven't convinced her of anything, so what will the father do? As others have said this is not a healthy expression of love, or dating and you should rethink not only the whole relationship, but the part your playing and the things you allow to happen.

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Originally Posted by chuff

I gave someone an example awhile ago where you never give the girl more than 50% in the relationship. Eisrorx, you've given her over 50% of your heart and 100% of your jealousy. The truth is she's loving it. She doesn't necessarily love you. But she loves what she can do to you. She loves that she can manipulate you like this.

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This came from a response Chuff made in another thread that eisforx created here: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...her-46950.html

I think this thread as tal points out gives a lot of background and after reading it thoroughly myself and the analysis by Chuff which might I say I consider to be almost spot on, I am inclined to say that you need to accept that this relationship is over and at the very least, you must back way off for your own sake. It seems like she is manipulating you and playing with your emotions. At the moment, you are easily controlled by her and as Chuff points out, she MAY not love you but love what she can do to you.

I also think that what Chuff said in you other thread was extremely important. Try to step back from the situation and try to look at her in the perspective of how human beings behave in general rather than viewing her actions and behavior solely as your girlfriend.

Sometimes when we are this emotionally unwell, we try to see things as we want to see them, not as they really are!!

Think about that, it may help you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by eisforx

im not upset. i just want to say im sorry. ive already let a lot of time go by.
thats why i need to do it as soon as possible.

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Just leave it ALONE!! You don't need to say your sorry, he won't care or believe you anyway. Just move on and leave them alone.

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Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

I also think that what Chuff said in you other thread was extremely important. try to step back from the situation and try to look at her in the perspective of how human beings behave in general rather than viewing her actions and behavior solely as your girlfriend.

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I actually just touched on this topic in another post and since Geoff brings it up and it's fresh on my mind, I will repeat what I said over in the othe post. No matter what the race, culture, language, or country human beings as a species have different personalities but similar behavioral traits. If you follow the behavioral traits, patterns emerge in the way humans interact with one another.

As Geoff points out here, forget who she is as a person. See her as a human being. This human being desperately seeks attention and needs control but also security and will do anything she can to accomplish that. This human being gets the attention and exercises the control she needs over this other human being (Eisforx). The human being also gets the security from her current boyfriend. But since this human being also needs attention she finds time for her ex boyfriend who doesn't really make a lot of time for her. In other words that human being (the ex) doesn't need the attention that bad, which drives the other human being (the girlfriend) to work harder for that attention and maybe some day his security. If not the human being already has security with the current boyfriend (eisforx). In the meantime it also makes the other human being (Eisforx) jealous which gives the original human being (the girlfriend) more attention, which that particular human being covets.

That's a little confusing to read, I admit, but as I said before human behavior leaves clues. Follow the clues and you notice patterns. Follow the patterns and you start seeing why people act the way that they act, even when it doesn't make logical sense.

In other words eirfoxes inability to control his g/f has led to his enlisting the father to validate his actions and prove he is as screwed up as we all think he is.