I just broke up an eight years long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I was the one to break up the relationship. The main reason is he kept wanting me to make a commitment, but I'm not ready for it. He said he doesn't want to wait anymore, and he's living in pain and wants to get his life back... so I told him that I'm still not ready to make any commitment to get marry, if he feels this way, then I just have to end our relationship. He was mad and agreed to end our relationship. This is not the first time, we broke up couple of time before but we got back together because we really love each other...

I know I've hurt him and I feel really guilty... although I initiated the breakup, but why am I feeling so hur too ? It's only been 2 days after the breakup, I missed him already. I feel so down, not in the mood to do anything, don't want to eat... part of me want him back, but part of me want to end it. Why do I have this kind of feeling?

Please help and give me some advice

Your feelings for him haven't gone away. Eight years is a long time. Sorry, but expect it to take months for you to move past the effects of this breakup. You can do it, but you have to serve the time now.

Someone once suggested as much as a month per year you were together. I doubt it's that simple, but it's a good rule of thumb.

As long as you're sitting alone mulling it over, you will destroy yourself over this. You absolutely HAVE to fill your mind with other activities. Selfless activities are the best... doing stuff for other people... but whatever you can manage will help.

Don't expect it to be easy, don't allow yourself too much time in one sitting, though, to mull it over. Do SOMETHING that requires your full attention.

If you aren't ready to commit after 8 years, then you are doing well to break this off.

Realistically, it will take a long time to get over the last 8 years.

He wanted a commitment and you didn't. There most be a valid reason and only you know why. It is best that you didn't agree to and then change your mind down the road.

Go out and do something to take your mind off him and when thoughts of him enter your mind, think of something else. If you have something that reminds you of him in your house put it away or throw it out. Hang out with friends. That's all I can think of.

It's going to hurt like hell for a while... of course, you're the one who ended it, and just like Liz says, you know why you're not able to commit to him after 8 years.

Just keep your head up... don't just sit around your house and mope... go out with friends, get a support system that will help you through this. I can say it's been 3 weeks and I'm still in a lot of pain, but I also know that it does and will get better after time passes... this is an oprotunity for you to go out and do things that you've never done before, get to know yourself a little more, or even find that person that you lost during the past 8 years (meaning yourself)

Good luck, and just post here if you need to vent or anything...

The thing with love is... sometimes you know right away and sometimes it takes quite a while to realise how much you do love them. 8 years is (personally) way too long to still be confused as to whether you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Companionship is great but unless you feel like your life isn't complete without them, then why even be with them for that long? You deserve love and contempt. You doubt your relationship after 8 years... you will doubt a life time of marriage! See it as a new life... dont obsess over finding 'the one'... do things that make you happy and that's when you will find someone and realise exactly what I'm talking about. Hurt is strong now and takes a long time but keep yourself occupied.x

Wow, you are really bold to do what you did,But wicked to if you ask me. Do you really have a reason not to commit to this man after 8years?? My guess is that you want to enjoy life,you may have pushed the right person away because of your decision (what ever that is).It is really hard to get a guy who would stay that long with a girl.Anyways you initiated the breakup, you shouldn't feel bad bad about it,just keep your mind off it,and I pray when the time comes you find someone that would want a commitment with you... (Karma is such a!! )"GOODLUCK"!!