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-   -   How to get over my girlfriend's past? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=766718)

  • Sep 11, 2013, 11:39 AM
    Matt999
    How to get over my girlfriend's past?
    Hi I have slept with 5 girls and my girfriend had slept with 10 guys! I'm 23 and she is 22 when she was 20 she was given MEOW MEOW with out knowing and ended up sleeping with two lads she felt so ashamed after and couldn't get over it herself, how do I? Just before we met she had slept with 3 lads because she liked them but they used her and she gave another oral! But she slept with one of the lads again before she met me because she really liked him but when she met me she fell in love with me then I fell in love with her then I kept asking questions because she told me about her drug incident! She moved out at 17 because she didn't get on well with her parents! Any help to get over this please! Only honest opinions please! I think she just wanted to be loved she wishes she met me ages ago and regrets her past.
  • Sep 11, 2013, 11:45 AM
    loving1014
    I can only give you my opinion... I believe that if you love her and you want a future with he that you MUST only acknowledge your future together and not focus on the events that happened in the past. Dwelling on the past will only affect the future that you two have found together. I wish you the best of luck!
  • Sep 11, 2013, 11:54 AM
    Matt999
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by loving1014 View Post
    I can only give you my opinion...I believe that if you love her and you want a future with he that you MUST only acknowledge your future together and not focus on the events that happened in the past. Dwelling on the past will only affect the future that you two have found together. I wish you the best of luck!


    Thanks that's good advice she don't dwell on my past! I've had oral of two girls but I'm not ashamed of it! I broke up with her once and she was so up set she said she ent never felt pain before! One if her ex boyfriends use to stalk her and beat her up and really badly treat her once he tied her up and clamped hair straightened on her foot! Which doesn't play in my mind! Sexail encounters with boyfriends don't bother me
  • Sep 11, 2013, 11:59 AM
    Oliver2011
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Matt999 View Post
    Thanks that's good advice she dont dwell on my past! I've had oral of two girls but I'm not ashamed of it! I broke up with her once and she was so up set she said she ent never felt pain before! One if her ex boyfriends use to stalk her and beat her up and really badly treat her once he tied her up and clamped hair straightened on her foot! Which doesn't play in my mind! sexail encounters with boyfriends don't bother me

    Seriously Matt - reading this it almost sounds like a contest. The count in either of y'alls past doesn't matter. Her past doesn't matter because it is her past. If you really want to ruin this relationship make sure her past matters and make sure you keep bringing it up.

    We all have things in our past that we aren't proud of. But it is in the past and in a relationship you should be focused on the future. Let it go and don't dwell on it. If you can't get past this then let her go. It is just that simple.
  • Sep 11, 2013, 12:04 PM
    Matt999
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    Seriously Matt - reading this it almost sounds like a contest. The count in either of y'alls past doesn't matter. Her past doesn't matter because it is her past. If you really want to ruin this i dont relationship make sure her past matters and make sure you keep bringing it up.

    We all have things in our past that we aren't proud of. But it is in the past and in a relationship you should be focused on the future. Let it go and don't dwell on it. If you can't get passed this then let her go. It is just that simple.


    Yeah I love her but I've always lived in my past and now I feel like I'm living hers I hate the thought of someone else touching her I trust her loads because she's always been honest with me but sometimes the images get me down
  • Sep 11, 2013, 12:13 PM
    Oliver2011
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Matt999 View Post
    yeh I love her but I've always lived in my past and now I feel like I'm living hers I hate the thought of someone else touching her I trust her loads because she's always been honest with me but sometimes the images get me down

    How old are you two?

    People have history. It is something you can't escape. Some histories include sex, criminal records, cheating, coloring outside the lines, etc. Having a history is how we learn.

    But you had sex too so it is completely unfair of you to bring up her past. Heck man I was dating 3 other people until I decided to be exclusive with my partner. And that included being intimate with them.
  • Sep 11, 2013, 12:22 PM
    Matt999
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    How old are you two?

    People have history. It is something you can't escape. Some histories include sex, criminal records, cheating, coloring outside the lines, etc. Having a history is how we learn.

    But you had sex too so it is completely unfair of you to bring up her past. Heck man I was dating 3 other people until I decided to be exclusive with my partner. And that included being intimate with them.


    I never slept about though like she did just before we met we do get in so well it's just me and my immature thoughts these lads always use to ting her when we got together she use to ignore them x
  • Sep 11, 2013, 12:22 PM
    Wondergirl
    Have you ever considered that her past relationships have made her the wonderful person that she is now? That she accepts you because she knows you are a good and worthy person only because she has fallen for guys who turned out not to be so good and worthy -- that she has learned the difference and her relationship with you is the happy result of her past experiences?
  • Sep 11, 2013, 12:29 PM
    Oliver2011
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Matt999 View Post
    I never slept about tho like she did just before we met we do get in so well it's just me and my immature thoughts these lads always use to ting her when we got together she use to ignore them x

    Well maybe if you did you would be more of a fun person to be around. Just saying...

    We get a lot of people on here who say the same thing you did and honestly it just erks me. Nothing personal because I don't know you. Apparently according to your thinking she should have told all the other gentlemen callers "Even though I have needs to fulfull I can't sleep with you because I may meet a Matt one day that won't ever let me forget it."

    Come on dude be real...
  • Sep 11, 2013, 12:32 PM
    Matt999
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    Well maybe if you did you would be more of a fun person to be around. Just saying...

    We get a lot of people on here who say the same thing you did and honestly it just erks me. Nothing personal because I don't know you. Apparently according to your thinking she should have told all the other gentlemen callers "Even though I have needs to fulfull I can't sleep with you because I may meet a Matt one day that won't ever let me forget it."

    Come on dude be real...

    I know I'm just dum I don't like it that's all I think I'm just weak minded and insecure or summut or jealous because she slept with more people than me
  • Sep 11, 2013, 12:48 PM
    Oliver2011
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Matt999 View Post
    I know I'm just dum I don't like it that's all I think I'm just weak minded and insecure or summut or jealous because she slept with more people than me

    But you did the same!!

    Treat her how you want to be treated. Realize that jealousy and insecurity is not attractive. If you can't get over this let her move on to someone else who accepts her for who she is. You aren't perfect and neither am I. And luckily that is OK.
  • Sep 11, 2013, 02:03 PM
    talaniman
    How old are you both?

    How long have you known her?

    How long did you date before becoming a couple?

    How long have you been a couple?

    Do you live together?

    Two humans with past issues they can hardly deal with themselves, will have a lot of difficulty dealing with each other. When the above questions are answered we can give more accurate suggestions.
  • Sep 11, 2013, 02:53 PM
    Matt999
    I never knew the girl before I've been with her six months every was great till I heard all this it was just a shock but I already fell in love with her

    I'm 23 she 22
  • Nov 2, 2013, 05:34 PM
    Matt999
    Girfriends past
    Hi people if you think you can you help me then please do! My girfriend in her past thought she was sniffing coke and these two lads one she was seeing gave her mkat not telling her what it was with the plan to her she got really bad off it and she ended going sleeping with one then the other walked in and she started giving him oral then when the first finished the other started to her! I love her till I found out this I don't look at her the same what do I do she was so ashamed and hoped no 1 new about it she was honest and told me about it because she really loves me! What do I do?
  • Nov 2, 2013, 05:58 PM
    talaniman
    If you love her you forgive and never mention it again. She has already been a victim so don't make her a victim again. No different than being hit by a car. How have you been coping for the last month since you last posted?

    Your threads were merged together even though some time has passed.
  • Nov 2, 2013, 06:03 PM
    Matt999
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    If you love her you forgive and never mention it again. She has already been a victim so don't make her a victim again. No different than being hit by a car. How have you been coping for the last month since you last posted?

    Your threads were merged together even though some time has passed.

    No better Cand to the point where I have broke up with her but I'm disgusted in myself because she must feel all again because I can't handle stuff like that x
  • Nov 2, 2013, 06:03 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    If you love her you forgive and never mention it again. She has already been a victim so don't make her a victim again. No different than being hit by a car. How have you been coping for the last month since you last posted?

    Your threads were merged together even though some time has passed.

    Tal, I did respond to his new thread, and my response isn't here. :(

    Can we remedy that, because I think my reply is valid.
  • Nov 2, 2013, 06:10 PM
    talaniman
    Alty,

    Merged but no responses when I did so have no explanation for it. Normally any replies come with the post. Or maybe it was lost because I merged at the same time you submitted. I don't know.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Matt999 View Post
    No better Cand to the point where I have broke up with her but I'm disgusted in myself because she must feel all again because I can't handle stuff like that x

    Maybe its better that way but I hope you both learn from this experience.
  • Nov 2, 2013, 06:18 PM
    Matt999
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Maybe its better that way but I hope you both learn from this experience.

    I think so I need to move on I call her a princess but I can't treat her like one
  • Nov 2, 2013, 06:31 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Matt999 View Post
    I think so I need to move on I call her a princess but I can't treat her like one

    My post to you was lost.

    I agree, you should move on.

    In the post that was merged with this one you said that you no longer love her, because of her past.

    She deserves someone that loves her despite the things she did in her past. You can't do that, so move on and let her find a man that can look past her past, someone that can love her unconditionally. That's not you.

    She deserves better.

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