Relationship, I'm Jealous.
Hello
I'm 23 years old and live in an apartment with my girlfriend for about 2 years.
All in all we're doing great we're both still in love.
Except for one thing - I'm jealous as hell.
<Now keep in mind this is written because i want help to get rid of it. something i can do.>
As I said we have been together for quite some time now, my longest relation ship by far since the second longest lasted 3 months.
I absolutely love and adore her, but I discorvered that I'm jealous.
It wasent like this in the beginning she could do whatever she wanted and I wouldent get any jealous feeling's.. but then small things nothing that showed me she ever intended to be unfaithful to me.
Told me at the beginning that she wanted to be together with my best friend before she met me.
Going up in a bedroom with another guy just chatting (i had to use the bathroom so i saw that) a boyfriend to a good friend of her's.
kissed my bestfriend on the cheek after his girlfriend was unfaithful to him.
Sat on a (lap/lab) of one of my good friends talking about his ex's pregnancy which she want's to keep, who also was unfaithful to him.
I have spoken with her about the incidents and informed her such actions is not all right with me. She of course understood and told me she wouldent do things like that again, being the wonderful gal she is.
My jealous behaviour:
One time i had to pick her up after work, and she was 20 minuts late and i immedietly suspected that she was inside getting her freak on. (I know how riddiculous it sounds)
<One time occurance>
I wouldent allow her to go out without starting a fight visiting her friends doing anything that i couldent control(doing unfaithful stuff)
<Not anymore=passed that problem>
I wouldent allow her to go out without starting a fight drinking with my littlesister which is her age 18-19 in a private controlled party where i knew all.
<Not anymore=passed that problem>
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I say i really dont want her to go out drinking out in the town with friends and meet people i dont know. its not just that, but everything in general is she alright is she in danger.
<I'm scared of what might happen>
When some of the problem were still in effect we got to the point that she wanted to break up with me. I convinced her with little effort to give me a second chance, I don't think she really wanted that. But as a warning sign that she couldent keep that up.
Now apart from the go out drinking in the town, all is well we're both very happy and enjoy eachother's company. This drinking is a little aspect of our life at the moment. Seeing as our financial situation isn't what it once were. She never mentions she wants to go out drinking by herself in the town with people I don't know. Because she know's I don't approve of it.
The problem is I don't trust her judgement when she has been drinking.
All the other things passed with time, but the remaining problem doesent seem to go away.
But that just won't do.
What can I do?
Comment on TrueFaith's post
The way I got out of it. Was I just stop worring. And I stop trying to control things I had no control over.
Think about it. You have no control. Over how someone else feels. If they stop loving you they just stop.
And us trying to force it. Only hurts in the end.
So Relax and try and take it one day at a time.
Whenever you feel these feelings just sit down count to 10. And try to talk yourself out of it
Because you know it is a domino effect. You think about one thing and it just goes on and on. But I find if I stop myself right at the start I come out of it so much faster.
Thanks mate, that right there is how I got rid of it :) I owe you big time !