My boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend keep texting each other
My boyfriend and I live together and have been together now for 9 months. He was living with a woman for over 8 years and all they did was argue and verbally, mentally, emotionally tear each other apart. He moved out several times and moved back in with her. Last November he entered a veterans facility for the homeless because he moved out again. I was in the facility for alcohol rehab. He has no alcohol/drug addictions. We met and started to date and decided to get an apt together after we checked out the veterans facility. We ended up living in the woods for 4 1/2 months due to an apt falling through and having no money. We got so close during that time and he asked me to marry him. Now, here is the problem, I am an alcoholic and will fall off the wagon like I recently did. He made me mad one night when he came home and I was drunk (this happened several times). I am out of work currently and he works and came home several times and I was drunk. He said all I do is sit around and get drunk and not work. He insulted me and pissed me off so bad that he left and when he did I gathered all his belongings and threw them in the hallway and latched the door. When he came home later that night I wouldn't open the door so he called the cops and I just hid in the bedroom until they left. The next day we talked and he was so hurt about me doing that and wanted me out. Since then I quit drinking-havent touched a drop knowing I would lose him. We have been getting along very well until recently when he ex-girlfriend found his cell phone number and started texting him and emailing him continuously.
She has his prized and beloved pit bull that they bought together. He really misses his dog and we can't have her at our apartment because pit bulls are banned. We still have 9 months left on our lease. No one else can take her. He says he is only texting her because he doesn't want her to give her away to someone. One night I couldn't stand it and looked in his cell. They text all day long while he is at work and he shuts his phone off at night.
I told him how this hurts me and shows me no respect and he should get his number changed. He says that I should trust him, that he is only being nice to get his dog back, knowing that we can't keep her her.
She keeps telling him how much they belong together and how much she misses him and loves him and needs him.
Before all this texting began he said he would never go back to her because it was so chaotic and he loves me.
Am I just an idiot or what?
Comment on twinkiedooter's post
OMG that was so inspirational to me-thank you so much. I was starting to feel like I was on the back burner but what you wrote made me feel so much better. I won't look in his phone anymore and yes, 8 years is a long time. Thanks again
My boyfriend and his ex texting and now he is with her again
Well... update to playing along with the program... last week he decided to spend the night with his ex and he also came home Fri night, took a shower, packed a bag and has been gone since with her. Playing along with the program is no longer an option for me. I deserve better. We had a talk the other day and he said it was over with us a month ago. Nice of him to tell me and play along acting like we were still a couple and then dropping this bomb on me. I will not play his side-toy any longer. He wants his cake and to eat it too. We decided to be roommates which is very awkward for me, but financially is good.I asked him to just move back in with her and he said it is not an option for him right now.. I know she wants that, but he has no vehicle to get to work which is over 20 miles from her house and our apt is closer and he gets picked up by a friend. So this is just convenient for him. I will no longer prepare meals, do his laundry, etc for him-which I think he thinks I am still going to do-NOT!
I, with help of my friends and family, have decided to continue seeing my therapist once a week to help me with my self-esteem, self-worth, self-respect and to not just let any man use or manipulate me any longer. I am a strong person and will make it through this. Thanks for all the conversation and please continue to offer advise, it gives me things to think about...
I honestly think he is checking out the grass to see if it still is greener on the other side, but if he chooses me, I will not take him back now... he is soiled to me