I have been cheated on and beat since the age of 16. I am now 32 yrs old. How do you put all that behind you and trust a man?

Trust takes time. Go SLOW - don't jump into anything.

It will take a lot of work on your part to be independent, and may require some professional help to get you to a place that you feel comfortable within yourself and build that confidence that makes your idependence shine!

Although it take a lot of work on your part, it is worth every step! :) I would suggest talking to someone more in depth about your past so you can move on.

Building trust doesn't come easy and doesn't come fast... learn to trust yourself first, then you can work on building healthy relationships!

A professional can guide you through the process. Realise that it was not your fault you ran into bad people who do bad things, be patient and with help healing can take place. Always forgive but never forget.

It sounds like you need professional counseling. I know it's costly but it could easily prove to be money well spent. You've been brutally victimized and it's going to take a lot for you to break out of that vicious cycle and be able to trust a man and, more importantly, find yourself a trustworthy man to begin with. Recognizing the problem as you've done here is a step in the right direction. Not being in denial the way a lot of people in your situation would be is half the battle. You say that you've been "beat since the age of 16." Were you subject to physical abuse only in the context of dating-type relationships or were you physically abused at home as well? If so then it actually dates back to well before you were 16. The unhealthy dynamics of your home relationships carried over into your outside relationships. You've come to regard abuse as normal, even expecting it. So, when it happens, you don't sense an alarm going off, you don't get a sense of urgency that something's not right. That in turn makes you even more vulnerable and the cycle continues. But I'm not a psychologist so talk to one. Best wishes.

Build up all your confidence and self-esteem, and once you have worked on yourself then work on trust.
Everything takes time, nothing happens over night.
As S_Cianci said counseling talking to a physcologist may help you immensly.

Good Luck.

Why do you feel you have to have a guy in your life? I always wonder about this belief that you must have somebody in your life to feel complete. After awhile you lose all sense of self and purpose. I see it a lot in women who say that they've gone from one boyfriend to the next and then seem have nothing to offer. They don't know who they are anymore. Perhaps the best way to find and trust a man (or woman) is not look for one and learn to find and trust yourself. Learn to listen to that inner voice. That inner voice is a powerful tool yet we most of us (including me) seem to ignore it.

How do you trust that when you turn on your stove, it won't blow up in your face? How do you trust that when you're driving in your car, people will stop when the light turns red so that you can safely go? We expect a certain reaction or behavior, but we don't really know for sure, do we? Nothing is guaranteed. These things are beyond our control sometimes. If we sat locked up in our house everyday because we were afraid to venture out because something might happen to us, well then, that's not really living is it. What happened to you was attrocious, but it was in your past. You can't change it but you might be able to learn from it. You will choose your friends wisely, and your boyfriend/husband even more wisely. You have been cheating yourself of a whole and happy life for 16 years because you've been afraid to trust a man. Isn't it time to trust yourself, your judgment? If you knew that your life was ending on Friday, would you put this behind you so that you could enjoy, truly, these next few days? Putting it behind you is not the same thing as forgetting. Putting it behind you is living your life, despite your past, in a zestful way. Tal was right, forgive if they've asked you for forgiveness, but don't forget. Forgiving doesn't mean you have to have a relationship of any kind with this person, it just means that you acknowledge their feeling of remorse and grant them, and yourself permission to move on.