My girlfriend is really confused and doesn't know if she wants to be single or not
I've seen this kind of questions a lot but this feels a bit different...
I've been in a relationship about 5 years now and we're both 19. I know we've started dating very young but we broke up once about year ago. We were almost two months apart and came back together because we figured out it was a terrible mistake to broke up. Well it was mostly my stupidity because I wanted to see how life was when I was single. It wasn't that good. I missed her.
Unfortunately, after we came back together and had a lovely year, about month ago my girlfriend said that she doesn't know if she wants to be single and she is very confused with her thoughts. She still loves me and this has nothing to do with any other guy and I trust her.
I discussed with her and I listened her. She feels like she wants to have time alone and be free and all kind of that stuff. She didn't know what to do because broking up may be a mistake due to her. She said "this phase could go away".
Even though I was in a great shock and terrified, I understood. After all things said I figured out it's best to give her total space and stop communicating but my girlfriend still wants to see once a week. During this horrible month I've seen her once a week because that is what she wanted and I haven't said much to her except when I'm with her of course. By the way we still are in this relationship 'like normal'.
I've avoided the big question "how does she feels about this" for a month and now I did ask it. She said that right after she told me about this whole "wants to be single" thing she felt like she DOESN'T want to be single. After couple of weeks from that she became uncertain AGAIN and she needs more time to figure herself out.
I'm calm and patient and I can give her time to herself, no problem. But I'm not going to wait forever that's for sure. I love her and don't really want to break up. I've said everything that had to be said and I've given her time to herself. This just kills me.
I need your help. Any kind of advice would be great.
What should I do? Is it over?
The confusion after a break up
Me and my girlfriend broke up over a week ago. She just wanted to be free and not worry about anyone or to be attached to someone. She wanted more time to herself and her friends, but wasn't sure about any of this. She still loved me and didn't know if it would be a bad mistake.
I made the decision for her because she didn't know what to do and we split up, and it was really tough for her. She still keeps texting me almost once a day and I feel like she's already starting to regret the break up. At the same time she says she needs this, the distance to figure herself out.
I'm confused. I've started moving on with my life but I also have this thought in the back of my head that she might want to come back some day. She might figure out breaking up was a mistake. I know she loves me and couldn't imagine herself to be with someone else. Why did she want to break up?
What would be the wise thing to do? I can't really move on 100% if I keep having this kind of thoughts about the possibility of getting back together.
What is wrong with my ex?
I broke up with my girlfriend over two weeks ago.
My ex didn't know if she wanted to be single or not. She was curious about how life could be if she had more time to herself and didn't have to worry about a relationship. I think she still had feelings for me because she said so but I'm wondering could it be the age? We're both 19. I've heard that it's not going to last forever if you are in a relationship under 24 or something. I hope someone could tell me more about this age thing..
I was waiting for her about two months to make up her mind and then I had enough of torturing myself and I made the decision for us. Told her she needs distance to see how things really are.
All the things she said when we were splitting up like
'I hope we can be friends'
'I would feel really bad if we couldn't talk to each other anymore'
'You can speak anything to me anytime if you want to/ I'm there for you'
'If we were meant to each other, I hope we somehow end up back together in the future'
'There is nothing wrong with you, you are lovely and sweet'
'I need to go through this phase'
'I'm more confused now than I was in the beginning of this'
'I'm afraid this might be a mistake'
'I really don't know what should we do... What do you think?'
I don't know for sure but I'm starting to feel like that all might have been just a load of bullsh**. I think she was feeling guilty and didn't have the guts to dump me right away and let me spin for two months. I'm feeling so angry and pessimistic... Frustration.
After breakup I went NC even though she said she would feel very disturbed if we couldn't talk to each other or be friends at all. To my surprise she haven't contacted me anyhow and I found out that she has been hiding and avoiding me at the local nightclub.
She also knows I don't feel good if she is drinking and partying a lot. Now during the breakup she has updated her Facebook status several times about going out drinking and dancing which isn't normal for her.
What's up with that? First she wants to be friends so bad and now it feels like she is avoiding me and trying to revenge or something, trying to get me to contact her... Or is it just me?
Breaking up is so hard... I've had urges to contact her but I haven't. Every now and then I've checked her Facebook page to see what's new because it's hard to ignore. It's so hard to cut someone who you still love completely out of your life just like that.