My Girlfriend left me, still loves me but doesn't want me back
My girlfriend of a year and a half left me after a month of being engaged... I know I was not the most perfect but either was she in our time together. I did not listen to her fully sometimes which I can admit but either did she... I did so much for her and put her up on a pedestal, fixing up our house, buying a 4k ring, diamond earrings and necklace, going out all the time and on many trips... It was all worth it to me because I know she is the "one".
She wanted to break up with me back in August and it came off as a shock... we decided to give it another try and it went well to the point where she kept asking me for a ring. I eventual proposed and we were very much happy till it ended in January...
3 months have passed and she dated someone that did not last. She messaged me back on myspace about being friends shortly after and saying comments about being bootycalls etc. I was sooooo excited and felt so relieved that I flew over there that night. We had sex for a couple nights but she made me leave early in the morning cause her son would be up. She has a 4 year old boy who I adore very much...
Several messages and phones calls for the past week and a half and she still does not want me back! She asked me to come over the other night and I was much hesitant this time but I did and we ended up having sex again... I can not resist her because my heart won't. I am so fully in love with her that I think of her all the time. I tell her how much she means to me and it has no effect.
She seems very timid and confused, she still says she loves me, has feelings for me and misses me and has enjoyed the nights together but she doesn't want to be with me... WHY?!
What am I doing wrong here? I KNOW she still has feelings for me... she keeps telling me for us to go our separate ways and it hurts but then she will want to see me. What am I doing wrong here? Is this a lost cause? I can not keep living life like this waking up with regret and depression...
We got into a bad argument the night she ended it saying I scared her and she saw a side of me that she never knew I had in me... but it wasn't me rather just bottled up frustration... How can I show her that I am the man she fell in love with? I have tried everything from telling her the time off has made me realize what I did wrong, to damn near begging... I do all the things I can when I am with her to let her know she is so special to me.
Is this the end for us... and I just do not want to admit it? She is 23 and I am 30 and she had a kid at 18... is she just immature? Feeling like she missed out in a part of her life because of early pregnancy?
I do believe her fully when she said she truly loved me and still does love me so why is it like this!!
Can anyone please help me... :confused: