It's time for my 15 year old to meet her bio dad. She has never known him and he has never seen her. I do not want to go into what all transpired 16 years ago, except to say that both of us were not very nice people when we drank alcohol.
Daughter is having some behavioral problems currently. We are working with her and a therapist to help get her back on track. I have always told her that we will find him when and if she wants to meet him, when the time was right and when she felt ready.
Her therapist says that the time seems to be right.
My question is how do I go about this? I am not asking how do I locate him. That will be the easy part. What are all the angles that I need to be aware of or concerned about? I feel like I need to think this through before going forward to possibly protect my daughter and or my family? I would appreciate any advice regarding possible issues to be aware of.

Thanks for all the help. Pammie

Ok, this is a great reason to do it, what is his name, his @ age and what country USA, CANADA, France, or so on was he last known to live in.

If he has an unusual name ( I pray it is not John Smith or something) simple people search in the US may narrow it down to a few choices.

And there are some paid sights that can help narrow by age.

I would suggest contacting him first yourself and explaining the current situation, you daughter and her behavior issues, some of the needs he might be able to address and anything else you think might be relevant. Do not bring yourself or your past into the conversation with him but keep it focused on your daughter. After explaining all the details to him ask him if he would be interested in meeting his daughter at this time in his life?

If he says no then I would suggest not forcing the meeting as it could create more problems with your daughter.

If he says yes then arrange a time and place for the meeting and allow it to happen.

Without knowing the details of what happened 16 years ago I would point out that maybe and hopefully he's changed and matured so maybe now he's at a better place to help her in her emotionally growth or at least in filling that void.

Good Luck.

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Originally Posted by PammyLouise

It's time for my 15 year old to meet her bio dad. She has never known him and he has never seen her. I do not want to go into what all transpired 16 years ago, except to say that both of us were not very nice people when we drank alcohol.
Daughter is having some behavioral problems currently. We are working with her and a therapist to help get her back on track. I have always told her that we will find him when and if she wants to meet him, when the time was right and when she felt ready.
Her therapist says that the time seems to be right.
My question is how do I go about this? I am not asking how do I locate him. That will be the easy part. What are all the angles that I need to be aware of or concerned about? I feel like I need to think this through before going forward to possibly protect my daughter and or my family? I would appreciate any advice regarding possible issues to be aware of.

Thanks for all the help. pammie

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Hey Pammy,
I hope you find him since it will benefit everyone. Perhaps the fifteen y/o will finally begin to realize who she is and where she came from.
What would be very beneficial if you are close is some re-unification counseling. In this step the counselor works on repairing the current, forgiving the past and a new beginning. It can only help the emptiness that IS inside, I know because I went through this too.
God's grace in your life, the purpose

Hi Pammie! I realize this was long ago, but like your daughter, I didn't find out about my biological father until I was 26. Since there isn't a lot of support (in one place) for people like us, I created a website with another friend (who also went through same thing) in an effort to help with the "other angles" you mention. Www.mydnadad.com I hope things worked out for your daughter. Did they meet? How is it going now? If she needs someone to chat with about it, I'd be happy to help (I'm not a professional psychologist, just another girl this happened to).