I finished university and started work half a year ago but my girlfriend is two years below me. We have been together for about a year and a half. We were always very happy when with each other and have made plans when she finishes university to live together, but she felt she didn't receive all the attention she needed at other times as we live in different cities a couple of hours away and so saw each other at weekends. A couple of months ago, my girlfriend and I went on a break in which we were allowed to see other people, however I never had any intention to do so and didn't think she would either. In less than a week she had sex with someone twice. She says he gave her the attention that I failed to do because of the distance and my work. She says now that she regrets it and wants to be back together. I however feel completely betrayed emotions wise and have both severe feelings of love and hate for her. It hurts me to know that she shared what we have with someone else and also I have a feeling of jealously. I don't know whether to get back together with her, because she says it is now all out of her system and we have such good times together, but I still hate her so much and it still hurts a lot to think about what she did. What should I do? Will the feelings go away and is it worth it? It just hurts so much to know that she did intimate things with someone else even if she has no feelings whatsoever for him.


I have tried to talk to her about it. She regrets her decision, and felt that she just did it for the attention as we were going through a bad time. We have agreed to go on a break apart for a month to see if I can get over what she did, meanwhile neither of us will do anything with anyone else.


She has also been withholding on information about everything that happened during that week and I think she is scared to tell me everything in case it pushes me away. But yet I feel her dishonesty is what is pushing me away.

If she can't sit down and talk it out, explain to you what happened, seeing as you need an explanation, then she is not mature enough to face the reality of what she did and just say she is sorry. So if this is the case, where does this leave you in the big picture?

I'd just walk away... if you have issues like this now... imagine how bad they are going ot get later. And they WILL get worse.

What more information could you possibly want from her? What is she lying about? Be specific because just the fact she was honest should count for something and you both agreed to see other people so what's the beef about what she did while on a break from each other?

What else do you want?A blow by blow account of the sex act or what? You feel betrayed yet she broke no agreement. Get over it, or get gone. Get gone because I doubt you get over it and harp on this forever.

Remember a "break" means breakup. Done. Guess you've already have a taste of what that means. Not you as a boyfriend.

I say it isn't worth it. If you were both really solid, then there wouldn't have been a break. Not sure if you're strong enough to forget this. My guess it was her idea to break.