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-   -   My ex broke up with me but still contacts (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=622619)

  • Dec 27, 2011, 10:18 AM
    Anonymous1040
    My ex broke up with me but still contacts me.
    We met and became a couple within two weeks. We spent all our time together and moved in within three months. Our summer was all work and maybe watching TV in the evenings. We both went back college and lived in dorms a block apart so again we spent all our time together again. There was a couple small fights but I think what happened is we moved to far to fast.

    We were together ten months and were way to comfortable with each other at that stage. We quit working on ourselves and quit worrying about being attractive to each other neglected friends and things we loved doing cause we spent too much time together. I know why we broke up we talked at length about that. I no longer had time to be myself and see my friends cause she wanted to hang out which ironically made her less attracted to me because I was focusing on her not on my life.

    We were planning on moving to a different city together and earlier in the day she broke up with me, she said how excited she was for us. She started by saying maybe we shouldn't move in together and that suddenly turned into her breaking up with me. She says she's just happier when she's single. She also got a lot going on in her life right now and is switching career paths for the second time since we started dating as well as some other personal things she's just starting to realize about herself.

    She said she can't predict the future but is open to trying it again eventually she basically said we'll keep in touch and see what happens. We went through everything and I'm confident we could make it work again. I'm pretty tore up about this but I switched dorms, bought a bunch of new clothes, been spending lots of time with friends. I have been hitting the gym and making an effort to be thankful for everything in my life trying to start fresh basically but I can't shake the feeling we could make it work.

    We broke up without a fight and hung out everyday until she moved. She would make excuses to see me and would start hugging or cuddling me and then pull back. We still talk but I've been keeping it short and on small talk and acting like in totally fine with the break up. I told her this break up was good and I'm glad to have time for me. I've also been talking to another girl but I want my ex back.

    PS she started hanging out with an ex that is also rebounding from someone else so they are exs that could possibly rebound on each other. He already asked her out but she doesn't know what she wants to do. Although I get the feeling she is just telling me this to make me jealous.

    I guess my question is what else should I do? And how can I get her back or is it even worth waiting?
  • Dec 27, 2011, 02:06 PM
    talaniman
    I agree with you, it was to much, to fast, and got to serious to soon, so it crashed and burned.

    Let this go and don't be so available so you both can clear you heads without influence from the other.

    Then you can BEGIN to think clearly, and not be a hostage to your rather intense feelings. Set a date of 6 months with no restrictions at all so you both can be free to do your things without each other, and see what happens.
  • Dec 27, 2011, 11:02 PM
    ilovemusic8
    Ok, well first off you have to start thinking for yourself. You are still thinking about both of you, I know how it feels because I was with my ex for a year and 2 months, we spent so much time together, went to college together and also stopped seeing friends. It got to the point I couldn't hang out because he would always have an excuse to see me, so I broke it off! It was one of the many reasons, I needed time for myself also,time for my family! I moved near by, but it was a bad idea! I did care of how I looked, and him he stopped, he didn't want to do anything either, I guess his depression got him like that and the medicine messed him up! Ok going back to you this is what I'm doing have you heard the NO CONTACT RULE? Well do it, you will be in pain, but it'll be faster. Get away from her for a month, YOUR MAIN PROBLEM is still being around her, for girls thinking ( she thinks you will always be there, but once you stop just watch) if she gets a boyfriend, then don't worry because if she feels something for you she will get back with you! There is nothing more bothering to a girl, then leaving her alone after all this time, stop being around her! I know it from experience, she will think of you! Keep being by her side it won't do any good to you, switch places for a minute, wwhat if you had someone that loves you there all the time? Wouldn't you get her jealous? She thinks that you will always be there, well its time for you to change your strategy!
  • Dec 28, 2011, 10:59 PM
    vanheart
    "She says she's just happier when she's single"

    That's all you need to know. I got those exact lines from my ex. Mine said, "I wanna be single"
    That was after 5 years. I'm glad she was honest.

    Those words still piss me off, make me laugh and hit home.
    Glad Im single now. Thanks. Woo Hoo!

    Did you get it?

    Go NC. Save yourself the effort.


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