Are my girlfriend's feelings genuine?
My girlfriend and I have been together for over a month now, we both say we feel a strong connection and just recently we admitted we loved each other. She said she doesn't believe in marriage (I do), but she would marry someone if they proved they were worth it. She treats the idea of sex very casually, but she's a virgin, I don't think it's at all casual, I think it represents a very strong bond between two people devoted to each other.
She was molested as a child so whenever someone's hand gets in her genital area, she starts having shakes and flashbacks, but she's in therapy for it. I'm not sure if this casual approach to sex is because of that, or because her mom is the same way (she claims it's the latter).
Anyway, she's had no problem talking about how she's planned to have sex with one of her best friends.. Right in front of me..
I confronted her about it and she said that it's not for a long time. "Well, what if we're still together?" I asked. I got.. "I'll talk you into letting me do it?".. I told her I couldn't. I just couldn't let it happen. Even after knowing how strongly I felt about it, she still thought she could "Talk me into it."
Then she finally said that she promises she won't do it if we are still together when the planned time comes because she knows how she would feel if I did the same thing. I then asked how this was possible because she treats sex so casually, she replied with "But I do believe in not cheating." she says this a few minutes after she thought she could "talk me into it"
As you could imagine, this made a whole flurry of insecurities arise. What if she does it behind my back? Does she really love me, or is she just looking for some emotional support because of her molestation issues and unsuccessful attempts with previous boyfriends? Should I break up with her before I fall too hard? What if this relationship really ends up going somewhere, only for me to find out she was lying?
I really don't want to bring any of these up with her because, well. It's kind of self-explanatory. Could someone with an outsiders perspective tell me what's best?