I'm turning 15 in a month and love this guy- my parents wolnt let me because they think its illegal- I need to prove them wrong, please help

If your parents say no, it's no.

It's not illegal to date, but it is illegal if you have sex.

Your parents are just looking out for you. If you really care about him, wait a few years until you're old enough.

It doesn't matter if you are turning 15 in a month, you are 14 now.

While there are not laws governing DATING, there are certainly laws regarding intimacy. In South Carolina the age of consent is 16. So if he kisses you, fondles you, or you have sex, he can go to prison and be labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life.

While you might be mature for your age, your parents still know what is best for you. Any 18 year old that wants to date a 14 year old should be considered a pedophile. Keep away from him.

As said before, dating is not illegal, having sex is.
Your parents really do just have your best interest in mind, but if you're mature enough to date an adult, then you must be mature enough to have an adult discussion with your parents about how you feel and why you think this relationship is okay and right. Key phrase: AN ADULT CONVERSATION

Look at it from your parents perspective as well. Then make your decision on how you'll handle this.

As noted there are no laws against dating. All laws in this area cover sexual activity. However, you are under your parents control. If they say no, then for him to defy them could be illegal.

But there is another issue here. An 18 yr old and a 14/15 yr old are at different phases of development. It is VERY rare for them to have much on common besides sex.

If the two of you are really in love, you can wait until you turn 18.

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Originally Posted by redhead1992

as said before, dating is not illegal, having sex is.
your parents really do just have your best interest in mind, but if you're mature enough to date an adult, then you must be mature enough to have an adult discussion with your parents about how you feel and why you think this relationship is okay and right. key phrase: AN ADULT CONVERSATION

look at it from your parents perspective as well. then make your decision on how youll handle this.

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Bad advice, indeed. Her parents have already said no. I have no problem with the advice that she have an "adult conversation" with them on the subject.

I DO have a problem with her having this conversation and then making "{her} own decision on how to handle this."

She's 14. The parents have made the decision for her. If she makes her "own decision," based on your advice, against her parents' wishes, the boyfriend could very well end up arrested for parental interference.

She's 14 - he is interested in having sex with her. He is a pedophile. Perhaps you have another definition of what qualifies a person as a pedohphile. If so, I'd sure like to hear it.

Comments on this post
redhead1992 disagrees : he's not necessarily a pedophile. No need to judge

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J_9's comment was a valid judgment of an 18 yr old having a relationship with a 14 yr old. You may not agree which is your right, but using a negative comment was inappropriate.

There is something wrong with an 18 year old being attracted to a 14 year old. They have nothing in common.
Your parents have said no and this boy's parents need to be telling him the same thing. He has no business with you. You are too young to be dating an certainly too young to be dating an 18 year old.

It us not illegal unless you have sex but your parents said no so... yeah

What he would have an interest in, is most likely the physcial body, ( too many 14 year old are looking 18 now adays) beyond that, I doubt he would be intersted in going to your JR foot ball dance with what he would see as all little kids

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redhead1992 disagrees : he's not necessarily a pedophile.

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Let's get this straight. The man she is interested in is 18. That makes him a LEGAL ADULT. The OP is 14, that makes her a minor.

When ADULTS are sexually interested in MINORS, the are pedophiles.

And I can promise you this, since I've had two 18 year old sons I know from experience, 18 year old boys have more on their minds than hand holding.

Well, first off... Saying a 14 year old girl and an 18 year old boy have nothing in comman? He's 18... he's male... which means he's probably at about the mental age of 12! She's probably already more mature than him. But.. At this stage in your life, 4 years is a big age gap. You might feel like you know who you are as a person and what you want from life. But as you get older people change, you will change. Its not just because you're young either. I think that if the two of you care for each other, and he's willing to WAIT. And respect that you have to learn and grow before you can get into a relationship. Then that will prove your parents are wrong. But you really can't be in a relationsip at this time, with someone who is 18. If he cares about you he will understand that. I hope everything goes well :):) good luck xx

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Originally Posted by MoiMoi

Well, first off... Saying a 14 year old girl and an 18 year old boy have nothing in comman?? He's 18...he's male...which means he's probably at about the mental age of 12! She's probably already more mature than him. But.. At this stage in your life, 4 years is a big age gap. You might feel like you know who you are as a person and what you want from life. But as you get older people change, you will change. Its not just because you're young either. I think that if the two of you care for each other, and he's willing to WAIT. And respect that you have to learn and grow before you can get into a relationship. Then that will prove your parents are wrong. But you really can't be in a relationsip at this time, with someone who is 18. If he cares about you he will understand that. I hope everything goes well :):) good luck xx

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You did read that there is an even bigger problem than the age gap - her parents said she can't date him.

I think it is fine I am 15 and I am going out with a 23 year old! We have not had sex and he said he odenst mind waiting! So I'm sure it will be fine. As long as you two are on the same terms! But otherwise go for it girl! :) xx

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Originally Posted by winniee

i think it is fine i am 15 and i am going out with a 23 year old! we have not had sex and he said he odenst mind waiting! so im sure it will be fine. as long as you two are on the same terms! but otherwise go for it girl!! :) xx

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The bottom line is, is that her parents said "no".

I stand by their decision. Also, if they were to have sex, he could get arrested.

As for your situation, are your parents aware that you are dating a 23 year old man?

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Originally Posted by winniee

i think it is fine i am 15 and i am going out with a 23 year old! we have not had sex and he said he odenst mind waiting! so im sure it will be fine. as long as you two are on the same terms! but otherwise go for it girl!! :) xx

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What kind of same terms is a 23 year old on with a 15 year old? If he is doing anything of a sexual nature with you he is comimting a crime.
Do your parents know you are seeing a 23 year old man?

This girl's parents have told her no and that is really all that matters.

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Originally Posted by winniee

i think it is fine i am 15 and i am going out with a 23 year old! we have not had sex and he said he odenst mind waiting! so im sure it will be fine. as long as you two are on the same terms! but otherwise go for it girl!! :) xx

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I don't even understand this answer. "As long as you two are on the same terms." What? "Otherwise go for it girl." What?

And I concur - the parents said no. This "man" could be arrested for parental interference and could serve jail time.

If your parents allow you at 15 to date a 23 year old, well - I can't imagine, nor do I know why a 23 year old WANTS to date a 15 year old.

Can you explain that? I know he tells you are mature for your age (and maybe you are) but he is working or in grad school and you are in - junior high?

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Originally Posted by winniee

i think it is fine i am 15 and i am going out with a 23 year old! we have not had sex and he said he odenst mind waiting! so im sure it will be fine. as long as you two are on the same terms! but otherwise go for it girl!! :) xx

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Frankly, I don't believe you. I don't know any 23 yr old man that would date a 15 yr old unless he was a pedophile. Or there is something seriously wrong with him.

You are encouraging a 14 yr old to defy her parents. That is very wrong.

Trust me honey if he really loves you the way you love him he will be able to wait. I met my husband when I was 12 and he was 16. He became my best friend, and please note I was very mature for my age. When I turned 14 is when we started becoming interrested for each other. When I was 14 and he was 18 and my mom had the same issue as your parents and its OK. Your parents love you and just want to make sure he cares enough to do the right thing. Don't date him behing your parents back because when they find out it will just make things worse. My husband waited until I was 18 to finally even kiss me and call me his girlfriend, and guess what he didn't have a problem with that and was willing to wait 4 years for me.
Do the right thing Kid. If he doesn't wait its because he wasn't worth your time.

It is simple, at 14, if you go against your parents, they can find ways to put the 18 year old in jail.