One of the things he said to me was absences makes the heart grow fonder! So I guess he is wanting to see if his heart grows fonder. I have a feeling there may be someone else should I try to catch him..

That's what we're trying to tell you!! Ok?

Don't WORRY about someoen else - there is also someone else until you are exclusive... after 3 months, in a HEALTHY relationship, you shouldn't be exclusive.

I think maybe you should date others as well - gives you a strong perspective on thngs.

Don't knock yourself out trying to figure out what's really going on. There's no way for anyone to really know. He himself might not even be sure. He may tell you one thing but subconsciously he may be thinking something totally different. The best thing to do is to give him the space he says he needs. Break off all contact for now, save for what may be necessary for business. Get on with your life and be able to enjoy it just as much without him as with him. Let him miss you. He may eventually start to chase you again. If he doesn't you'll have lost nothing and will have had the pleasure of knowing him while it lasted.

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Originally Posted by dancingtwins

One of the things he said to me was absences makes the heart grow fonder! So I guess he is wanting to see if his heart grows fonder. I have a feeling there may be someone else should I try to catch him..

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Catch him doing what? Dating another woman when he has no ties to you?

Dancingtwins, I'm an emotional person so I know this stuff can really hurt but from what your posting you're the one pushing him away. I'd be pulling away if I was him. You've got yourself and 3 children to worry about that's 4 people total who should be occupying your time and energy. To me that's almost a good thing because it provides you, or should provide you with some focus and activity in your life. It sounds like he's been pretty fair by telling you that he needs time and space and said that maybe in the future you can get back together but that's a maybe and maybe's should always be considered never.

You've got to quit holding onto hope and tell yourself it's over.

Ok, I'm going to get harsh here. You came here asking for advice. Did you really want advice or did you hope someone will give you support by telling you to do what you want to do?

You have gotten very good and unanimous advice. LISTEN TO IT!!! FOLLOW IT!!! Give him the space and move on with your life.

Stop asking if you should do what everyone has told you NOT to do.

I wouldn't waste my time trying to catch him.

If he's honest, you're wasting your time.

If there's another woman and he just doesn't know what to do... well, shouldn't he have that time to figure it out? You, in the meantime do not have to wait for him, but I guess id rather he get another person out of his mind first. You are not engaged. You are not married. You are trying each to determine compatibility. Let him go his way.

Spending a lot of energy trying to catch him doing anything is just a distraction... not to mention a new trust issue.

As I said in my earlier post, I did some of the same things this guy did, for very "valid" reasons, no other woman involved, when I dated the woman who would become my wife. If I felt she were trying to track me down in a lie or she were obsessing over me, I'm not sure I wouldve been drawn back to her. And, at least in my case, it wasn't that I had lessened feelings for her. I just needed a little time to wrap my mind around everything I mentioned before.

Luckily for me, my wife was willing to wait a little while.

Please stay out of his business and move forward with your own life.

He just emailed me he wants to have lunch so that we can talk

Hmmmmm - say your busy - maybe tomrrow. Don't be on his call and rush to him. Seriously - he hurt you a little. Be different.

If you have something else to do,do it.

Well that's a good sign, but I agree with the others. Don't be at his beck and call or come running when he crooks his finger. Tell him you can't at the time he proposes, but come back with a counter proposal of a later time.

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Originally Posted by dancingtwins

He just emailed me he wants to have lunch so that we can talk

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You are not ready for this. Please tell him thanks but no thanks for now. Maybe later.

Be less available to him. AND seriously - you need time to think about the gief and crap he caused you!!

Be busy. Be with your kids.

Let us know what you did and what happens - but pull back for now and decide - over several days IF he's worth it.

We decided to casually date but not date other people. I told him that I wasn't going to be at his beck and call and I didn't want to see him everyday. That we both needed to think about what we really wanted

Good for you!! Just remember he is just one guy and there are plenty out there who would treat you the way you want to be treated if you only let them! :)

TAKE IT SLOW!! By taking a step BACK you will find out if you really like him or not - or was just infactuation and the attention and being wanted.

Maybe He Is Sceared Of A Ready Made Family Does He Have Kids?sometime That's The Case Maybe He Need Time To Figuer Out Hum Is This What I Want?

Straight to the point... if he says he need timeout give it them and you find something else to do... read the reactions of other experts... there is a pattern here... their responses are not demeaning... but helpful...

He emailed me this morning and said that we haven't broken up he just needs some time and space. I told him I wasn't going to wait on him...