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-   -   Husband (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=30064)

  • Jul 23, 2006, 04:10 PM
    yjurado
    Husband
    I was wondering how to aproach my husband to use sex tiys, I will like for him to do it to me from behind, but use somekind of vibrator for the front at the same time and I'm not so sure how to ask him to do that for me.
  • Jul 23, 2006, 05:15 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    I would say that the fact you are asking, leads to some other issues, communications, if you had good communication with each other,

    And this is most likely afecting other areas in your relationship also.

    When he is tired, the last thing he wants to her "we need to talk" even if it about other things of sexual interest.

    I would suggest a good idea would be to discuss it one morning before he goes to work, let him "image" all day and get his interest up ( hopefully)
    Most men by and large are open to all types of sexual adventure, but often fear their wife will thing they are some level of sexual deviant.

    Now of course some men because of past sexual experences gone bad or some level of teaching, have fear or issues with some expressions.

    Often findinga and talking about all of this is healthy to a relationship
  • Jul 23, 2006, 07:37 PM
    Thomas1970
    Hi Yjurado,
    I agree with Fr Chuck. Just be open, honest and forward about your desires. Though, asking him after a long day of work, may not be the best time. Probably best approached as Chuck said, earlier on a weekday, or sleeping in on a weekend. I agree that men will generally be very open to a little sexual experimentation.
    My one concern, a fear he might have -- occasionally women who have a degree of difficulty climaxing, often experiement or "train" with vibrators as they provide more direct and intense stimulation. Men can occasionally feel somewhat displaced by this "lifeless" plastic object, that the woman can quickly become somewhat enamored of. Assure him that the vibrator is meant to enhance both your pleasures, not to replace "him" in any way; and that this is not in any way indicative of any shortcomings in his technique. You are simply applying two very different types of stimuli in order to broaden and enhance your sensual experience.
    And, in the end, it's him you lie down next to at the end of the evening, while the vibrator lies forgotten in the nightstand drawer. :)
  • Jul 24, 2006, 02:05 AM
    Krs
    He is your husband not your new boyfriend you meet 1 week ago!
    You shouldn't be ashamed or shy to ask him anything even sexually.

    Don't be shy, I'm sure he'll be just as thrilled ;)
  • Jul 24, 2006, 10:37 PM
    YeloDasy
    I agree that it is the approach and the way you ask as well as timing... but if it were me, I would just ask... or buy a vibrator, or just a little one for your finger(less intimidating for him maybe)... and start to use it... and read how it can be pleasurable for him... cause there are ways! :) Talking about sex and different things can be fun and interesting... but you know him better than we do... so is he not very experimental?
  • Jul 25, 2006, 12:26 PM
    talaniman
    My wife just tells me what to do so I just do it.
  • Jul 25, 2006, 12:50 PM
    Myth
    I just told mine that I was wanting to experiment with toys. He was all for it as he had never done it before. Just be open and honest and maybe bring it up when you know he's in the mood. You might also try taking him to an adult store if you think he would be comfortable with that. If not there are many reputible sites online that I know of that are very low key that you might look at.
  • Mar 1, 2007, 10:19 PM
    hazzzzzzza
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by yjurado
    I was wondering how to aproach my husband to use sex tiys, I will like for him to do it to me from behind, but use somekind of vibrator for the front at the same time and I'm not so sure how to ask him to do that for me.






    Don't worry you are married and you aren't children if you don't feel comfortable asking then go out and buy sex toys and lingerie and one night surprise him :D
  • Mar 4, 2007, 03:39 PM
    karasuma
    Oh that's one of my favourites! He'll love it too because he can feel the vibrations and you'll tighten up with strong stimulation up front.

    I can't even remember how sex toys became introduced into my relationship... they've just always been there. My only advice is to just DO it. "Hey baby, I bought a present for us! This is what I want to do". No guy I know would object to bringing in sex toys if you're still using him like he's you're favourite :)
  • Mar 5, 2007, 12:33 PM
    Stac33
    Just be open and honest. Some men are threatened by them. Just start small. We have always had toys in out marriage and he has never been threatened by them in fact he wants to hear all about it if I go it alone. In fact we have quite a large one.. larger than him and he wants to use that ginormous thing on me all the time. Just the other night we were laying together watching a movie and I went in and got may favorite vibrator. I gave him a flashlight and told him to lay across the room facing me(funny guy... he was willing to do anything at that point). All I said was,"Watch!" And I went to town while he watched. Needless to say it didn't take long before he joined in at attention!!

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