Hey my ex and I split about a month ago. Ive only had no contact since aug.18
She got together with another guy a week later after breaking up. She claims she met him a week prior but who knows if that is the truth. We have been off and on. Im trying to move on but in a way I'm trying to move on to show her I won't always be there and she can't walk all over me any more. I made her number 1 along with our son who is now 2. I need a women's perspective and a lot of it. Will she be back for another round. I know what I did wrong in the past. And this time too. I need to be a man and get her to chase me. Is the no contact making her think ladies ? I ask because my history was to always chase her to get her back. But since she met this guy I have had zero contact.. Am I doing the right thing? Help..

History does repeat itself, but YOU are the one in control of it!
If you don't make a move or start a plan, instead, sitting on your chair, I don't see she comes back.
NC is the right thing to do now.

She wanted me to be a man. I get emotional when it comes to her, Her twin brother was my best friend and he past away a few years ago. We have a son. She said she wanted me to get a seocnd job so after the spliti did. Im trying to prove that I can the man she wants me to be. I work 65 hours a week. Go to school for fire fighting, I love her more then the worl along with my little guy. What kind of plan can I make with NC. It is very unlike me to not have called her and say I love you I love you. Do you think the no contact is making her think she made a mistake?

She said on the split she loves me but doesn't no if she is in love with me. She has said this before and when we got back together this time she swore she did and that she said those things out of anger.

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I work 65 hours a week. Go to school for fire fighting,

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NC

You are a man!

I just started the second job after we spit like a month ago. I love her and I smothered her a lot. Im just hoping she will realize we have a son and our history is to great to just turn and walk away. I have faith that we will be together. Do you think she is wondering why I haven't contacted? From a women's point what would it o to you?

Yes, I am sure she is wondering...

Should I have NC until son she triesto contact.. I thought mabe on halloween when I take my son out , just kind of say hey you want to come ? Or no contact till she tries.. I contact her mom to see my son. But the other day she wanted to drop him off and I said no.. to her mom of course

Any other women have any input

I think you need to stop sniffing after her like a dog sniffs after a bone. Be a man and let the woman go. Take care of your son. That should be your #1 priority. How are you caring for your son if you're working all of those hours trying to impress her.
My thing is, if you have to bend over backwards to impress someone, you don't need them.
Forget about this woman, she does not seem to be worth it.

Im not seeing my son during the week only on the weekends. And I'm doing it for me and my son not her. Im not trying to impress her at all. Just showing that I will over come anything thrown in my way. She is worth it. She is my sons mother, she is my best friends .r.i.p. twin sister, she is the love of my life whom I care very much for and want to make my wife. A week before we split we went to a concert and that night she was saying, ask me tonight it would be so romantic, ask me tonight to marry her then the split..

Well, I can't say of she will come back or not because I don't know why she left. The only thing I can tell you is go on with your life, if she wants to come back, you need to decide if you want to go through this drama again. No one can tell you what to do, but you.
Don't chase her. She is not yours if you have to do all of that to get her.

Im not doing anything to get her. IM notchasing, I haven't calld her or contacted her. Im doing this for myself. To better ny self and my life. I truly believe There has been so many things that bring us together,

I need a women's insight. More then what I've gotten.

Is hard to give insight if you don't know the other side of the story. Will she come back, that depends on why she left and how she feels. You said you guys have been off and on, which tells me there were problems anyway.
I would say if she left you and now has another man, she may not come back and no contact with her tells her you have accepted the fact that she is gone.
I don't think she will come back.

We broke up before xmas and she started dating a guy, she stayed with him for months.. she cheated on him with me and then we got back together, she said she dated him to forget about me,

So your saying I hsould have contac ?

As much as it hurts I would stick to NC. Does not mean whatsoever you won't have contact again one day, maybe in a few years time even. Hey I had a good friend who I worked with 4 years ago who I saw again randomly in a restaurant with my ex 3 years later, we started chatting on MSN and as were working up the road from each other we began to drive each other work and we became best mates, went on hols a few times to.

Best to let a bit of time past first. This way the emotional dust would have settled.

LOL a couple of years.. This is my sons mother whom I love and want to get back in my life as fast as possible..

Any more women with input

Hi sorry for what your going through it suks!! But, honestly, don't contact her unless you have to for the child's sake. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Its so true, and if there is any chance of getting her back, no contact is the only way if at all.

I know its not what you want to hear, sorry. You have to show her and yourself that you can be happy, the and c helps that no matter what happens.

Its a turn off when someone knows you are always there while they are off dating another person.

I hope one day you will look at this differently, and maybe see everything for what it is worth, and if not in the mean time please at least act like you don't give a sh!t about her in that way. Trust me. For some reason it is human nature that you want what you can't have. (somtimes) : ) good luck

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Originally Posted by crushedovernover

Hey my ex and I split about a month ago. Ive only had no contact since aug.18
She got together with another guy a week later after breaking up. She claims she met him a week prior but who knows if that is the truth. We have been off and on. Im trying to move on but in a way im trying to move on to show her I wont always be there and she can't walk all over me any more. I made her number 1 along with our son who is now 2. I need a womens perspective and alot of it. Will she be back for another round. I know what I did wrong in the past. And this time too. I need to be a man and get her to chase me. Is the no contact making her think ladies ? I ask because my history was to always chase her to get her back. But since she met this guy I have had zero contact.. Am I doing the right thing? Help..

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Thanks I really appreciate it. I just don't know how a week and a half prior to our split she was saying to me : ak me tonight to marry you it would be so romantic, then split with another guy for a week and a half in Florida.

Im so lost. Her emotion and her reason do not mix.

Sorry guy but as much as you would like your family whole and in intact, she is not going to ever be back the way you want it, and is content to do as she wishes because you will allow it. She may share a child with you, but her lack of love and respect is OBVIOUS, from what you have written, and your efforts at pleasing her are honestly, disgusting from my veiw, as she calls the shots, and you go along with them and its not healthy. Take care of your child, and let her go, as far as a loving relationship, it can never happen, without a lot of changes on her part. I doubt she will change for you.

She moved from out west to come home to be with me in the beginning. What effort am I taking that disgust you. I have had no contact. Im not trying to get her back, She needs to com back on her own. I am only worried about my son. Sure it would great if she came back and tried to make it work. I love her trmendously. I no longer letting her call the shots. Let her do her thing and if she comes back I won't take her back well no right away. She and I would have to go to counselling. Mabe your right but no one knows the whole story and yes from what I've written your right she has zero respect for me and no respect for her self. I do believe she will come back though but for the wrong reasons.

Is it possible for the space and NC I'm giving her for her to realize she made a hue mistake? Is it not possible that she is confused and doesn't know what she wants

I really apologise for being to harsh as I think you're a good guy who had a child with a bad female and you deserve better. I think that false hope keeps you from seeing her and the situation clearly and puts you in the position of waiting to be missed, and holding out for her to see the error of her ways. That is futile to my way of thinking, and getting a life you enjoy without her, is the way to go. Getting over her and finding your own happiness, will free you from her confusion, and be better in the long run for the child you share. Her coming back for the wrong reasons will not bring you happiness, I don't think, but more misery and confusion. Hard to take, but I feel it so important that you break her influence on you completely, and replace it with a healthier relationship with some one else. To do that, you must move forward. No one can predict her actions in the future, but you can control your life in the present.