My boyfriend watches porn. I know a completely new concept for me. However, this issue I have is that the porn that he most regularly watches is porn with asian girls in it. I am not asian. He works in chinatown and cheated on me with his asian co-worker. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill with this porn issue? Or, is there something wrong here.
It's not like he's only watching asian porn and since I found to he has stopped, let's me look at his phone and what not.
I just don't know what to do. We have been together for eight years but it really bothers me how specific his porn is.

Thanks for any help, please be kind.

It's a matter of the battle of the sexes. We women have never understood a mans obsession with porn.

For men porn isn't about who they want to be with. It's visual stimulation. It's fantasy. It has absolutely no bearing on their actual taste in women. In fact, I bet that most guys couldn't pick out the girls they watch in porn flicks out of a police lineup.

For women sex is an emotional thing. When we fantasize it's about actual people. We have this vision of the dream guy. But that's not what it's about for men. For men it's about the thrill, the turn on. He may be attracted to Asian's, which is why he's watching Asian porn, but it really doesn't have anything to do with who he's attracted to in real life. It's just his fantasy, and it's just stimulation. It's not emotional at all.

I've watched Porn with girls of different races from my girlfriend and mianly just to get that horny moment out of the system lol. I'm currently 2 hours away from my girlfriend and I don't think we're so great with mental stimulation as you give us credit for. We do need that visual porn lol.

But if he did cheat on you, that's something else, and I doubt the porn has anything to do with it. When I watch porn it has completely no effect on my relationship. It's mainly for hormones release :D

My two cents.

I would be more concerned with the cheating thing. He might be curbing other desires by doing this. He looks at Asian porn because he doesn't want to stray, so he will rub one off to the porn instead of cheating.

I have also spent two of the last four months in China. I will admit, as much I could in China, I did look at more Asian porn then I normally did. Probably just because that is most of what I saw around on a day to day basis.

I wouldn't be too concerned about this. I also want to say that snooping, even if it is authorized is still a no-no. It just forces us to be more inventive in hiding our porn viewing. I could do it on my phone/home computer without anyone knowing, but it is my stuff so why should I hide it?

Anyhow, I think the bigger issue is the cheating. The porn is kind of whatever... It is the seed for fantasy. It isn't them imagining a specific person. I bet if you were to give him some naughty pictures of you he would probably rub more than one off to those. I wouldn't advise it because once you have digital pictures of you on a computer they might get out on the interwebs. The bottom line is that it isn't a slight against you that he's looking at naked women who don't look like you.

That the cheating would make you sensitive about the porn is understandable. It looks like he hasn't completely earned your trust back. Point that out next time you have a serious discussion. Is the molehill a mountain? No. It's more like a pickup load.

#1. You ARE making a mountain out of a Molehill on the porn... but not the cheating thing, they are two very different things, unrelated..

Example...
I am white... I married an Italian... I like asians... does that mean anything? No it doesn't. I would be with an asian and not the Italian if it mattered that much to me.