I live in Ontario, Canada so I am interested to know what the laws are pertaining to me only, and not any other province or the States.

My husband has 2 children with his ex, and the mother has sole custody (despite my husband's attempts to keep joint custody). His ex is flipping out because we recently had to move into a smaller house and no longer have an extra bedroom, so we have the 11-year-old boy and 9-year-old girl share a bed when they visit us every other Friday and Saturday night. The mother is saying that she is going to call Children's Aid on us and that we are not acting in the best interests of the children. Can someone please let me know if this is really an issue? What if we get them to sleep in separate sleeping bags on top of the bed? I understand that maybe the boy is embarrassed to wake up next to his sister, being as he is at the age where he is starting to hit puberty.

Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks a bunch!

How about the two females sleeping together and the two males doing the same, since it's only every other weekend?

Hi Wondergirl - thanks for your response but I'm not sure I understand it...

We only have the kids every other weekend anyway, so it's already only every other weekend. There are only 2 kids - one boy and one girl.

Are you saying that my husband should share the bed with his son and I should share a bed with his daughter? His ex HATES me and I'm sure this would pose an even bigger problem than the two of them sharing a bed... The mother's suggestion is to have one of them sleep on the floor, and they can take turns. This is why I wondered about the sleeping bags on the bed instead because we have hardwood floors and I think they would be very uncomfortable to sleep on.

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Originally Posted by teddybear_160

Are you saying that my husband should share the bed with his son and I should share a bed with his daughter?

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Yes, that's what I meant. I didn't know his ex hates you.

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The mother's suggestion is to have one of them sleep on the floor, and they can take turns.

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Buy an air mattress (for underneath the sleeping bag) or even a futon for the floor-sleeping child ?

I wouldn't think that she would get very far in reporting you, you're not actually doing anything wrong but the situation cannot continue like this - 11 & 9 are probably the very upper limits for sharing a bed, especially with the boy being older and it must be uncomfortable for them.

I thought Wondergirls suggestion was very good, but if you can't do that then how about the boy shares a bed with his father, the girl sleeps in the spare bed and you possibly sleep on the couch?

Or, as Wondergirl said, is there anything stopping you from buying an airbed or a campbed? Something which won't take up much room when the kids aren't there but will solve the problem instantly? I don't think the sleeping bags on top of the bed would be very comfortable for the children.

Good luck

Air mattress. Why cause a problem?

If he ex doesn't want them sharing a bed, buy an air mattress. Easier than fighting with her.

I think CPS will investigate and they will tell you that you should change these arrangements immediately. But I doubt if they would do anything more that that.

But I see nothing wrong with the you sharing with your step daughter and the father with his son one or two notes every other weekend. I can't see the mother making a reasonable objection to that especially after she has objected to the current arrangements.

Air mattress, twin beds from a second hand store, someone sleeps on the couch.

CPS will most likely come and question everyone and to be honest if you can keep away from that the better, once you are targeted they often keep looking and looking.

Ooops! There is no laws in existence which forbid a brother and a sister to share a bed but it may be a cause for custody modification.As others said above , one additional bed will remove all legal problems.;)

Children's Aid Societies has rules where it is forbidden opposite sexed children to share a room up to 6-7 years of age . But it is true only for foster families./5. No foster child over six years of age shares a bedroom with another child of the opposite sex./
I assume the children do not live permanently with you.
Another question:So what happens when you go camping ? Does each child need their own tent ?:eek:

Thanks GV70. And that is exactly what I said (the camping question).

The situation is not quite as simple as everyone is making it out to be. We live in a very small 2-bedroom bungalow, and I have a 17-year-old son, so there are no extra bedrooms. We have a pull-out couch in the livingroom, and that is where my husband's 2 kids sleep. We do not have a loveseat but an arm chair, so we can't even just have them sleep on separate couches. There is no room for an air mattress. There is definitely no room for extra beds, nor do we want beds in our livingroom, especially since they are only with us every other weekend. We do not have any other rooms - the livingroom and kitchen are open-concept, and then we just have the bathroom and the 2 bedrooms.

I should note that they do share a bedroom at Mom's - she lives in a 2-bedroom apartment. CAS did investigate her during their custody battle and didn't seem to have an issue with them sharing a room (bunkbed).

My husband is 6'8" and I am over 6', so we do not fit on the pull out couch and therefore having one of us sleep on the pull-out couch with one of the children is not an option.

Anyway, the whole reason I asked what the legalities are in the first place is because it's a situation that just cannot be helped at the moment. My husband lost his job and we had to start renting out our basement, so we no longer have separate bedrooms for his 2 kids. Once we get back on our feet and the 1 year lease is up for our tenants, the kids will have their own bedrooms again and we won't have to worry about any of this.

I still don't see a problem with them sleeping side-by-side on the pull out couch in separate sleeping bags. Like GV70 said (and like I was thinking), it will be just like camping. It's only for +/- 4 nights per month, so I'm not too worried about it. I'm sure they will be perfectly comfortable.

Thanks for all your help!

Why not have the 17 year old boy sleep on the couch during their visits and put a bunk bed in his room for them to sleep in on those weekends. Leave the existing bed for the 17 year olds alone.

Why ask for peoples opinions if you don't like the answers they have given you>

Where are you reading that the OP didn't like the answers? This thread, by the way, operates in a different manner than some of the others - it's a legal thread. We take our volunteer duties very seriously, and it's not about guessing. In the vast majority we either know the answer or we don't post.

It's not a chat board, either.