Giving each other space in a long-distance relationship!
Hi all,
I know there are a lot of similar threads already running on this topic, but I wanted to see what you all think. I know the title might seem like a bit of a paradox, but read on and I'll explain.
My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half and we live about an hour and a half away from each other. It's tricky, but we've been making it work so far by seeing each other every weekend and usually one night during the week. We both have really busy lives, so we have to work hard to make time for one another, but we manage.
Anyway, we have discussed on numerous occasions the possibility in the future of moving closer to one another, but both of us are pretty much locked into uni/work where we are for the next year at least. And at any rate, I don't think we're ready for shared domestic bliss just yet. We agreed that the relationship is worth it and we're going to stick it out despite the difficulties that come with a bit of distance. That means no more fighting about the distance, no more planning timelines to move closer to one another. It means just enjoying the here and now, and the time we do get to spend together.
Unfortunately, I find it a lot harder than him to cope when we're apart. He works flat out during the week and I find it a upsetting when he has stuff on the weekends that means we can't see each other much or at all for that week. I get that he has friends and he wants to spend time with them, just like I want to spend time with mine, but that doesn't make it much easier. I get antsy when I don't hear from him, even if I wasn't expecting to. It's really starting to get me down.
Recently we've been fighting a lot over small things (that somehow become big over the phone), and it all culminated with him telling me that all of this is getting too intense. I'm sick of being pissed with him and he's sick of getting in trouble.
He's gone from being a great, important part of my life to being EVERYTHING to me. And I know that's not a healthy way to see him. No matter how many times he tells me he loves me I need reminding five minutes later. If he sounds a little brusque on the phone, I take that as him being annoyed. I am turning into your typical clingy, needy, insecure, whiney nightmare. He's afraid of how much I desperately need him (and to be perfectly honest, I would be too in his position).
We both want our relationship to be fun like it used to be, and we've decided we're not willing to throw in the towel and break up just yet. We're having a little 'space' right now (whatever that means - I reckon 200 ks is a fair bit of space).
HELP me to give him the space he needs before I drive him away for good. Help me stop checking my phone for texts every five minutes. Help me enjoy my life independently of him so I can be a cooler, more together, more fun person to be around when I DO see him!