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-   -   I'm back, having trouble after 6 months. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=333091)

  • Mar 23, 2009, 11:23 PM
    Grayfox
    Im back, having trouble after 6 months.
    Hey guys, I'm sure a lot of you remember me. Ive thrown a few posts here and there, started with my first ex girlfriend, got through that. Continued with my last ex. Almost through that. Im having a little trouble now almost six months into the breakup. As a lot of you know, we go to the same college( she followed me here after my first year). Somehow by some horrible circumstance, she ended up on my floor. We broke up on my floor shortly after that. She's been here ever since. I think about her at least once every day, I see her almost once every day. Usually it never bothers me, I've been doing just fine. Spring break came around, we talked a little bit. Talked about meeting up. Since then I haven't been the same. I can't read her, she acts like she wanted to but couldn't. She says she honestly couldn't, she's made no attempt to hang out with me since then. She keeps herself busy for the most part, always with her friends. My main problem isn't that I want her. She doesn't want to be friends, she just wants to say hi to each other when we see each other. She doesn't want to talk through the phone ever or over text. I understand that, I assume it gets to her or something, I don't know. For me however, I really just want to be friends. Ive grown a lot, I don't know about her, I really want to get to know her for who she really is. I don't feel like I ever had that chance while we were dating( almost two years). Im sure id care a lot less if she didn't go to my school. It really bothers me that I gave so much to someone in a lot of ways, and now this person can't hold any part of my life. It just hurts me deeply, its something I forget about, but I don't think it ever fully subconciously leaves. What do I have to do to get her to realize I really just want her in my life in some way in the future. I just want to be able to talk to her from time to time, maybe I'm not ready, maybe I won't want to when I really am. I don't know. I broke it off because it was bad, but I've wanted something back ever since, and it wasn't the actual relationship. I know some people don't like to be friends, but I can't believe that I dated someone this long who was so close to me that I have to forget the existence of. Give it to me straight please. Im a very lonely human being despite the fact that I have tons of friends, plenty of girls I could "hook up" with, etc. and so on. I don't know what it is, I don't know if I just want companionship in some way, I know if I want it this bad I don't need it in my life right now. Im not looking for a girlfriend, I wasn't when she became my girlfriend, it started on the ashes of a previous failed relationship and it was built off that, not the reflections I shouldve acquired after the first. Im growing, I'm learning, and more and more I want to know this girl.
  • Mar 24, 2009, 12:22 AM
    theartofm

    Are you really lonely, or just not dealing with the rejection?

    Some people have very busy social lives... more friends than they can deal with, and just don't need one more.

    If you don't want to date her, then just think of her as a friend that you have drifted apart from.

    I think you said she smiles and says hi? That's not hatred or anger, that's just saying that she knows you but doesn't need to be close to you. Maybe she is still in love and just can't be friends with you, or could possibly feel embarrassed to be with you after the breakup, perhaps feeling that she did something "wrong" to you and is ashamed of it.
  • Mar 24, 2009, 12:24 AM
    theartofm
    Start dating. Or at least flirting a bit. After seeing a few different girls, your perspective might change. It will change. Try it and see how it changes.
  • Mar 25, 2009, 11:47 AM
    Grayfox

    Yea, I might date a bit, I think its been long enough.
  • Mar 25, 2009, 12:08 PM
    Romefalls19

    I won't lie to you Gray, you need to get counseling to combat this lonesome feeling you have. I would still stay away from your ex, stop worrying so much about her and worry about your life. It only happens once and it will pass you by if you let it.
  • Mar 26, 2009, 09:54 PM
    Grayfox

    We talked tonight for 5 minutes, just about our lives, nothing bad. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere she goes... " so how are all your girls" and I'm like, emily what are you doing, and she starts talking about how its all over Facebook, and I notice a tattoo on her hip. I knew about one she got but apparently now she's gotten two since we've broken up. Its like heartbreaking to me to see her doing this to her body because she looked so much better without them, they're just plain bad looking. She smiles when I mention it and acts as if its not a big deal. I feel almost as if she gets pleasure out of causing me pain, I know she could see it in my eyes. Then she tried to play it off saying that she's had it for a long time, and then says it was nice talking to me as I'm leaving. I think most of you are going to tell me to get away from this girl. Only a few more months. Shell be living off campus and ill be living on. No more problems. I am hurt, I won't lie, but I won't lose any sleep over it. What do you think is her problem?
  • Mar 27, 2009, 07:25 AM
    talaniman
    She doesn't have a problem, just being herself, and going through life, as we all are. I think you need to leave her alone, and get satisfaction from what you do, in your own life.

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