I'm a 20 yr old female whose had 5 sex partners in the last one and a half yrs never at the same time though... I don't practice promiscuity but it's just that every time I find a guy I think I can settle down wit an things get sexual after awhile there's always sumting an the relationship doesn't work out. Do you think this is really bad?? The number of persons that is

A number is just a number and people who judge because of it are not worth time... I am not saying to go sleep with whoever, just be careful and use protection when you do decide that the time is right. As for 5 guys... thats you business. And who are we to say if its bad. Ask yourself this... do I feel I've done a bad thing? And you'll have you answer!

I do not mean to judge by anything that I say, but am saying these words to you out of wisdom judgement I have figured out for myself. One thing to keep in mind is that whether you realize it or not, we ALL spiritually bond with people that we share ourselves with. You bond both emotionally and spiritually without even realizing that you do. If you do this, it makes it hard to have friendships unless you have established this before the act was followed through. Think about every time you had a friendship with the other sex and didn't cross that line. If you were dating someone you hadn't slept with, it was simple to break up and leave as friends. This is because there was no bond made together. With every person you bond with, it makes it harder to bond with the partner you are supposed to be with. Because when you finally find that person, you always seem to regret the "past". This is because you care about the person you are currently with. I understand that we do not live in a perfect world, but that does not mean we cannot strive for it. The biggest tragedy in life is NOT learning from our mistakes. Because Lord knows, I've made my share.

I think people see things differently... a 20 year old boy has sex with 5 women

In a year and a half, they used to say he was sewing his wild outs... a conquest

Thing no commitment but... a 20 year old girl has sex with 5 men in a year

And a half, they tend to see her as being easy... I don't think you intended to

Have sex with them but that is your own business, sex is supposed to be saved

For marriage is the traditional way of looking at it... Most people don't see it

That way- many unwed mothers find out the hard way, the lessons of life are

Tough love... I hope you don't lose Mr Right cause he didn't have sex with you.

Hope you find a perfect match, and don't have to keep changing partners

Well, all that's happening is you are having sex before you find out if there will be a relationship. Its your choice if you wish to do this as you are an adult, but keep in mind as was said earlier you will get a reputation.

You don't have to totally abstain, just wait a few months after dating to take it to the next level. Likely you will sleep with fewer men but have a higher quality when you do.

What I caught from that is that you are looking for someone to share your life with and it does not pan out. Well, life is full of trials like this.

You will probably have many more short relationships while learning for yourself what qualities you are looking for in the right man. While on this search, just make certain that you stay healthy.. which means, by all means 'safe sex'. You don't want to have to regret it later.

Your choice in men will also change as you grow as this is part of learning who you are and what you want.

I would not worry about the 'count', it's that quality that counts, and truthfully until Mr Right comes along, a lot of us women have lost count... That does not make us less respectful. What counts here is an healthy attitude toward ones self.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

Hello.

Relax, it doesn't sound like your jumping in bed with every guy that says hi to you. Your getting to know the guy first or at least you think you know him before you sleep with him. The only problem I can see is your need to find yourself so you know what your looking for in a Man before you pick your Mr. Right and he becomes your Mr. Wrong. Your young and it takes time to know what you want from life. Each time you find that special Guy your learning a little more about yourself and each time you crash your also learning.

Don't look at it like your sleeping with a lot of guys, your just learning what is going to make you happy so you will know who your Mr. Right is when you find him. If you feel like your having sex to quickly then slow it down. Don't give him what he wants until you find out more about the real person.

Just remember all Men and I mean all Men think with their lower head in the first part of a relationship more then they do their upper one. IM an Old Fart and I know I do hehehe, Being older and more mature just means I have learned how to control my lower head better then the younger less experienced Men, but when all said and done we all still let our lower head take over at times. They will say or do almost to make you happy so you make them happy.

IN a nut shell, give each new relationship some time so you get to know the real Man before you see him as Mr. Right...


Dennis777

I did the same thing when I was 19... in fact during college years, almost everyone does it. Its exploring and as long as you are practicing safe sex, its healthy too.

Check out Christina Aguilera's song, "can't hold us down"

Give it a little more time to get to know them, before the sex part.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Trouble321

I did the same thing when I was 19.....in fact during college years, almost everyone does it. Its exploring and as long as you are practicing safe sex, its healthy too.

check out Christina Aguilera's song, "can't hold us down"

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And that's exactly why so many people have Herpes for example.

STIs aside, the number 5 doesn't really shock me (5 in 1.5 months would be a different story though!) And back to STIs: make sure whomever you sleep with wraps it up and that you are doing your part to prevent STIs and unwanted pregnancy... you don't want to give a gift that keeps on giving ;)

I'm curious. What exactly are the statistics for herpes? Anyone know?

I think it's something like 1 in 4 sexually active adults has had a herpes outbreak... but I'm not sure. It is very common though and can be spread through non-sexual means.

Something biggsie said, he's right: "a man has sex with 5 women in one night, he's the sh*t" but if "a woman has 5 men in one night, she is a slut". <-- I don't mean a woman is a slut if she does, but I mean his point is correct. Women are unfairly judged when it comes to the number of partners they sleep with.

It's nobodies right to judge you on how many men you have slept with. I, for one, wouldn't. The number of people you sleep with is nobodies business but your own.

Don't lose any sleep over it :)

What is your relationship with your father?

Are you in school?

What do your friends do for a living?

What is your passion?

I'll answer after you respond:

Cheers -

A

It's not a matter of number... it's a matter of the emotions, your feeling you give it so easy for anyone... which give mistaken impression about you that you are easy... you should not rush and have physical relationship with your boyfriend, unless you feel that he is the right guy... Excuse me for what am going to say... I do not mean to hurt you but do not make of yourself sex toy for everybody.. they use you for sex and dump you... you deserve much better... a partner who cares for you as a human not a body...

Ms. Redrose

I strongly recommend abstinence and for you to not be engaging in premaritial sex. But I am not your father, therefore, I can not tell you what to do. So if you are going to practice premaritial sex, be SAFE about it.
Do you realize that if guy 1 slept with 12 girls, guy 2 slept with 4 girls, guy 3 slept with 7 girls, guy 4 slept with 14 girls, and guy 5 slept with 9 girls, assuming if it were all unprotected sex that means that in a year and a half you actually had sex with
51 people assuming you to had unprotected sex. That is scary. And even with the use of a condom, I do not agree with that being "safe sex". I feel that if the scientist do not have a cure for a disease, they simply do not know it well enough to know EVERY possible cause of contracting said disease.

Hmm, gayboy, you need to be educated a little more. If you READ the answer I posted it will make since.

No, if you have sex with 5 people, you have sex with 5 people. I find it annoying when people make the assertion that "when you have sex with someone, you have sex with everyone they've been with before you." That idea is nonsense.

Also, you insinuated that condoms do nothing to protect against STIs. Maybe you should read about the effectiveness of condoms before you make people think they are useless.

Finally, your thoughts about the etiology of herpes simplex is completely off the mark. We know how it is spread, but we don't have drugs to kill it. The reason we can't kill herpes simplex is that it lives in nuerons, so to kill it we'd need a drug that can kill a virus without killing the nueron. We do have drugs available that prevent the virus from leaving nuerons, and in effect prevent the virus from spreading.

To have sex with someone just because your dating them IMO makes no sense. Think about it, you are giving a special part of yourself. Your body is something special so respect it. Don't give it to just anybody.
Take the time to really get to know a person before you give of yourself. You're 20, that is young and I'm assuming the guys are around that age.They are young too and have sex on the brain. Think before you give yourself to someone. Make sure they treasure you as a person and not you as a vagina.