I have a friend. Her sister is 16yrs old and I am planning on raising her baby. Can anyone tell me the steps that I would have to go through to make this work. The father is an older guy who needs to be locked up but decided to hurry and move out of state so they won't find him. She has no job, her family will not help her. At this point I am raising her as well. Do she just give up her rights as mother. I do not have any kids of my own so this is a blessing to me. She is due in 10weeks and want to get the ball rolling. Please help me.

This is somewhat dependent on where you live and the laws there. In a very general sense, there are a few options. She can award you temporary guardianship, or she can place the child for adoption with you. Placing a child for adoption is one of very few ways that birth parents can give up rights to their child. It is best if the father agrees and signs an adoption agreement, but if not this can usually be resolved in other ways unless he objects to the adoption.

All the states I know of require a "home study" of the potential adoptive parents. This is fairly comprehensive and can include everything from physicals, criminal background checks, some adoption counseling appointments, questionnaires, possibly a parenting or baby care class, financial disclosure and visit to your home to ensure it's a safe and proper environment for a child.

As the baby's mother is a minor, it may be required for her parents to consent to her placement of the child for adoption as minors cannot sign contractual agreements. Different states handle this in different ways.

I am not sure whether there would be public resources available to help with the adoption placement, or if it needs to be through a private agency. YOu will need to call around and do some research quickly.

You should start working on this immediately as the process can take a while and you don't have a lot of time. In the interim, if the mother is living with you, it will not be a problem for the child to be with you as well.

This is not a do-it-yourself deal - you have to have legal representation.

First, you get a lawyer.

Then you get a lawyer and a counselor for the birthmother, and a guardian ad litem for the baby.

You are probably NOT going to be able to adopt this child without serious legal representation--especially since adoptions require the permission of BOTH biological parents in order to happen.

What is most likely to happen at this point is that you will get guardianship of the child.

What state are you in? It makes a HUGE difference, as many states will not allow a single parent to adopt (you make no mention of a spouse, so I am assuming that you are single--please correct me if I am wrong).

The MOST important thing you can do right now is to get this girl to a counselor that specializes in adoption issues so that she COMPLETELY understands what she is giving up. Such counseling is mandatory in some states, but should be mandatory in all states, because the lifelong issues that can follow birthparents who do not get counseling BEFORE signing relinquishment papers can be very serious: depression, cutting, drug abuse, low self-esteem and suicide top the lists.

Start with a lawyer for yourself and a counselor for your friend's child, and please come back and give us some more information so that we can further help you.