Ask Me Help Desk - The sex is lacking...

Ive only been with my boyfriend for about 4 months. In the beginning we had sex constantly. He made me feel sexy. After we made it official and he started a new job the sex died off. At first I figured it was due to the new job. He was tired and adjusting. But a couple months have passed, and now we have sex about once a week, if I'm lucky. Its caused a couple fights and I've asked him if its me & have tried talking to him about it. That gets me nowhere. He says he is attracted me. But its getting to a point where I now feel unattractive, like he doesn't find me sexy and starting to think he is cheating. Although I'm not sure when he would cheat, but when we are apart that's when those thoughts come up. I've neveraccused him directly. When we do have sex its amazing! But truthfully Im tired of being turned down, tired of feeling like I'm not good enough. I'm at a loss. And thinking he is cheating is my only conclusion. Cause if he's not getting it from me, where is he getting it from? I might add that before we got together he had a reputation. So I know he enjoys sex and lots of it. I'm at a loss.

How old are you both?

Four months isn't a long time in the grand scheme of things and usually the first few months are used to evaluate the partner. So far how's he making you feel? Think you can last this through for the next 60-80 years?

Reputations are notoriously untrue things. Could still be exhaustion from the new job. That is a completely valid reason. Could be other factors. I think it is time to cut and run. Find someone else.

We are both 27. We spend a lot of time together. I know he's been stressed lately. But he doesn't see the damage he is causing me. Its not like he hides anything.I have full access to his phone and everything. But iI can't help that my brain is leaning this way.

Quote:

Originally Posted by iluvmybf

But he doesn't see the damage he is causing me

No no no... you've have this all wrong. He's not causing any damage, you're doing this to yourself.

You have access to his phone and you and didn't find evidence of infidelity, but, you still insist that he's cheating. You also said he has a "reputation". It's clear you do not trust your boyfriend.

You might as well throw in the towel now, this trust in this relationship has already deteriorated.

I did trust him. Just cause I have access to his phone, doesn't mean he can't erase text messages. I've never gone through it. We are only 4 months into our relationship. And his reputation is real as I've heard stories from his friends and him. A big part of me knows I'm crazy and doing this all to myself. But what? I try to talk to him about it and I get "oh ya, thats attractive. This really puts me in the mood" now I don't know what to do. Wait it out. Hope it gets better, meanwhile I'm dying inside thinking my boyfriend has no desire to touch me? I love him, I really do. I've never felt this way about anyone before. So I don't want to just walk away.