Hi there, I need help understanding my sons oxy addiction. He is 21 yrs old and never takes responsibility for his own actions. He was raised by his dad and has been in some kind of trouble every since he was around 12 or 13 yrs old. Me and his dad had separated since he was 10. Dad has always been the grandma type of love he sugar coats everything and with me mom he says I make him want to do more pills. He has tried treatment before and thought he could do it so he checked hisself out of treatment early and after about a month and a half of suppossibly still having with withdrawals like vomiting, shakes, can't take stress or anything else he is right back on the drug but supposibly worse. All my son can say is that its addiction mom and you have no idea. Am I wrong for trying to make see that there is a reason why he has learned to rely on pills? He tells me about the withdrawals had the fact that when you stop your bones start to ache, but how long after you stop taking the drug does that start? How do I get him to understand he could being doing this to run from pain deep down that he never got help for? I mean he says he can't make it through the day without the drug if he tries he gets frustrated, crabby over anything especially me when I talk to him. Can you help me understand him and his problem?

Maybe you should start praying for him ernestly or seek guidance this time from church pastors since they know exactly how to deal in these situations.

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Originally Posted by Jaysmom

how do i get him to understand??? ...can you help me understand him and his problem?

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Hello mom:

You can't. Maybe somebody else could, like a professional.

I can't help you understand him. Al Anon can. That's a professional organization.

excon

I think you really need to find a ALANON group. It's a group for loved ones who have kids, friends etc on drugs. They give you great advise, you'll find most of the people their have been through what you are their with your son. No one makes a person do drugs, he is just looking for any reason all to do them. ITs his battle he is the only one who can make the change. Yelling at him preaching at him won't work. Let him you love him and you need him to be in this family for he is needed. Don't except the blaming of any of it , its nonsense he has to own up what he has done and do right by applogizing. But do not feel guilt from a man who is high and doing everything in his power to ecsape the real reason he is doing this.. There is ALL WAYS a Reson for this they no it they just don't want to hear it.. Iam speaking from experience... It's a hard road but at the end life is soooo much sweeter.

Hi, Just read your message about your son and his addiction. I understand what you are going through and what your son is going through as I have been an addict before. I am now clean and have been for a year now and my life is so much better now. It was the best thing I ever did. I am glad that I went for help to get put on medication to help me get off the drug. When you have an addiction it's very difficult to see what's happening to you and what's happening around you. All you can think about is getting your next supply. Sometimes you may think that your son does not care about you but that's not true, as he has an addiction he can't control. He just needs to want to get clean for his self and not be forced to come off it. I can't believe what I made my parents go though and how much I hurt them whilst on the drugs. It was like I was blind. I did care about my family but I just found the strengh one day to get help. I kicked myself when I thought about what I lost such as my job, friends, family everything. I was sad and lonely and everyone looked at me like scum but I wasn't scum I was just someone who needed help. If you don't mind me asking what type of drug/addiction does he have? I may be able to advise you more or give mor information.

Hi, you need to find out whether there is something that might have lead him to this addiction and take it from there. Unfortunately that's the only help I can give you as I'm only 13

You could also seek a professionals help once you find a root to the addiction