Originally Posted by
chuff
I know this comes off like I'm attacking wvchick, but that is not my intent, but exactly why would you want hook up and chat with someone who has taken no action to resolve the same problem you are refusing to take action on? That's just two people stuck in the same problem going nowhere.
because she HEARD me unlike you. I am here to be heard. you and i can not communicate. there is the possibility that coming from the same situation, two heads can work better than one and we just might be able to figure out how to accomplish our goals peacefully and assertively, not aggessively like you suggest.
Because he won't. Remember, that is what you asked this panel? You asked how to make him leave. He won't leave. So now that we know what he won't do, you can keep doing the same thing and getting the same results or you can leave.
it seems to me that you find there is only one solution to this problem and you are The man with THE answer. I am so sorry to disappoint you by not bowing and kissing your ring. Your suggestions are NOT the answers I am looking for. to me they are simplistic, adolecent, and narrow minded and you have not been shy about telling me how you feel about me which tells me so much about your character. With that in mind, why would I want to take YOUR advice.
Great. I appreciate you avoiding the issue and trying to turn this around and make it look like I blamed you for anything. To bad that's not what happened.
oh read your post again, you will see that you suggested that i am taking the house HE pd for and added that it wouldn't happen if it was you in his place. in another place you suggested my frame of mind on how comfortable I feel about taking the house from him.
he GAVE it to me. that dosent make him a saint. nice gesture, yes, but you dont want to accept the dynamics I tried to explain. Instead you jumped to your own conclusions which makes me wonder just what your history would tell. if you are going to hate on me then maybe you should man up and reveal why you think you have the experience to delegate to me how I should live my life. since your avitar has a mask on it i can't see if you have a big L on your forehead. You should not take my refusing to not take your "advice" so personal. Thou protest too loudly.
Great. Again, I'm not sure what this has to do with moving forward to a better future. This sounds like a bunch of excuses as opposed to any action. He blamed you for all the problems, you accepted that's in the past, and the past can not be changed. However, the future can, but getting there means dropping the confrontational BS directed at the rest of us who are actually offering you something different. Something different means you have to do the opposite of what you have been doing for years that caused this mess in the first place, and step one is leaving.
I caused the mess? I contributed b/c i enabled, but I did not cause it. ever heard of action and reaction. my reaction enabled his actions. i also feel the confrontational bs is coming from you. if you would read my post again, i am asking or a peaceable action b/c this man will always be involved in my life in some way b/c we had kids together. and who are you including in the US that i am directing the bs to?
I have a feeling there's a lot more to this story then you are letting on. I'm not sure why you couldn't reveal it, this is an internet posting board, you and I could walk by each on the street and I don't know who you are so you are not going to lose anything by telling us, unless it puts you in a different position then that of the poor woman on bottom who can't get out of her situation.
you know i really dont know what planet you are from. The reason I did not reveal is that it concerns extended family situations that are not involved in this situation. unlike you I don't practice crossover. it leads to contamination of subjects and your vivid imagination that feeds your "feelings" is derogatory. what is your need to attack me?
So since you own the house and won't kick him out, why not leave?
again mr dense, why should I move TWICE? I am sure that there is a suggestion somewhere out there that can help me coax him out. I am not being underhanded or uncommunicative with him. He lives in his own world and i am looking for a way to reach him. this IS a very difficult and sensitive situation. brass balls don't work here. I am the one living in this mess as you put it and try as you may you are not here day in and day out seeing the humanness of my life. this is not a script you can write for me. I personally find you way too bossy to give advice. our personal forms of communication have two different definitions.
Wow. So you are living with someone that you feel "richly deserves" a guilt trip, yet you take no action toward correcting your own life and giving those that offer advice a guilt trip of your own?
Where do you get off suggesting that I am taking no action? Just because I don't agree with your grunt methods does not mean I am not taking action. what you dont seem to understand is that your suggestions will lead to future problems. I feel it more responsible and insightful to take care of matters in a more gentle manner.
You want the same results, then keep thinking the same negative "oh woo as me" attitude and take no action. You want different results, start thinking something along the line of "I deserve better and here's what I'm going to do to get there." If it's your house kick him out. Call the police, explain your situation and have them come over while he gets his things, then change the locks the moment he leaves.
