Do people really let go for altruistic reasons?
Hello everyone, here's my story...
My first serious relationship I felt we were made for each other.. and then she broke it off.
She called me the next day saying she regretted breaking up with me. For one week we hung out and decided to give it time, meanwhile making plans in the future to eat or do other activities together. Then she broke up with me again a week later saying I deserve better, I told her not to sugar coat things and tell me the truth. If you don't want to be with me tell me now.
She decided to stick to that altruistic reason. She also said she didn't know if she had anymore love to give (was about to marry her ex, previous long term relationship but that was 2 yrs ago) I asked her why she even called me back the first time, she simply stated I didn't know if I really did regret it.
Furious I left the house while she kept trying to hold on, and started crying. As I got to the door she tried to kiss me but I turned my head said goodbye and walked out the door without even closing it...
A few days later I felt I was immature about the way I left but felt it was better to leave than to stay upset. Out of my guilt I initiated contact 3 days after, apologizing for my manner but anyone could see where I'm coming from right? Anyway she told me I wish you ere here with me, I miss you, I wanted to do this and that with you (long list)..
But I felt my decision was the right thing to do.. I initiated NC after this, and she called me then sent me a text asking for something trivial then apologized for the text.
Am I being played? Or do people really let go of someone they care about for altruistic reasons? If you love something set it free? Does absence make the heart grow fonder? Out of sight out of mind? Should I crush any hope of getting back?
I just need some insight... thank you all.
Scared of getting too close.
merged and edited
I had coffee with her today after no contact, she initiated it and I felt as if my emotions settled down after a few weeks.
Basically I told her altruism doesn't exist and for her to tell me that as an excuse for dumping me was very pragmatic.
In the end she told me the real reason is because she's too scared of getting close after her last serious 3 yrs relationship. In the amount of time we've been dating she told me we both got really close. Also to end it she told me she wanted to be the type of person before she met her ex boyfriend if she were to ever be in another committed relationship.
Is there anything I could say or do? I know I'm not pressuring her but I deeply care for her, do you think this is all BS she is telling me? What do you do in a situation where she has a lot of emotional baggage / insecurities?
Thank you all for your inputs.