My son and the mother of my son's 3 years old son were never married. They have split now. Both the parents are very angry.

I have not been allowed to see my three year old only grandson very much. I adore him. He is torn between two emotional people. That being his parents. I will add, my husbnd is passive aggressive and it partly and mainly the reason my very own son does not like being around me. My husband likes to do passive aggressive things to make me have to get onto him for his behavior and that way when I do he comes out looking very good in front of adults, friends and mainly my son. I feel it's one of the reasons my son is not very close to me because I had to be the man of the house, close my husband's business and open another one in my name and handle a lot of things a woman should not have had to do.

O.K. the reason for all of that. My grandson was over here this past week. I was feeding him, my husband was complaining about something to the effect, you need to make him eat this, you need to make him eat that, etc. I told my husband to please stay out of this I was handling it. He kept on. I said, you are doing this child just like you did my son and you are not going to do this to this child. My husband would always try to make me mad so I would yell at him and he would look like an innocent angel. That's what passive aggressive people do. After we got through discussing that subject my three year old grandson said, "you are a man" then in a little while he called me a butthead. Now, fast forward a couple of hours. When I was taking the grandson to his father's house his mother called and wanted me to take him to the school. I told her I didn't feel comfortable taking him to the school because he was crying about going and that I rather take him back to where I had gotten him and that was at my son's house.
She then got off the phone. I lookd in the back seat of the car and my three year old GS was rolling his eyes in the top of his head, making spit on his lips, clasping his hands together until he was shaking and also puttin his little hands over his eyes It was obvious he was trying to handle the situation, one that I'm sure he's been in one time too many. I am so worried about him. He then said to me. Butthead. We get to his Father's house and he went in a told his Dad I had hit him. Od course I had not toucked him.

First of all I know this child is going through more than he can stand. I cannot do anything about it. Now, I'm wondering if someone is teaching him to call ME these names. I know the child's mother cannot stand me but uses me when she has no other choice when she needs someone to keep this only when she cannot find anyone else. I don't even want to go into how much I have done for the child's mother.

Please. I don't know what to do about this. This is a precious child and I can see he is being destroyed right before my eyes. I only get to see him about once a month at the most and he only lives 20 miles from me.

Any suggestions as to what I can do. No. 1. My husband is not going to be allowed to drive me crazy in front of this child like he did with my son. My son was not his son. This passive agressvie personality is next to impossible to live with. They are professionals at making someone else look like the bad buy. They are pros at it. I didn't realize what I was dealing with when my son was young but I know the whole story now and had read a lot about it.