I am having an affair with my ex who is the love of my life!
Ok, here is my story. My ex, who I was with 14 years ago and who was the love of my life broke my heart. We were supposed to get married and he ended up running off with another woman. I never ever got over him. He did contact me about a year later when that relationship didn't work out and told me how sorry he was and wanted to see me. I saw him a few times and I was still in love with him but still had deep wounds and was too afraid of getting hurt again so I didn't let myself get too close to him.
He ended up marrying someone else and not long after I also ended up marrying someone else. I have been married to my husband for almost 8 years, with him for over 10. He has been a really great husband and amazing father but he admitted to me a couple of years ago that he had been having an affair with his ex. I was devastated but he begged me to give him a second chance and I did not want to get divorced, especially because we had a child so I decided to stay. I do love my husband but I just cannot look at him the same as before. I will never trust him again.
Meanwhile I have never gotten over my ex but I knew he was married and always tried to put him out of my mind. So anyway about a year ago I heard he was divorced, I found him on Facebook and send him a message just to say hi and see how he was doing. We started messaging each other then exchanged phone numbers and eventually arranged to meet up for drinks. Well, I ended up meeting him at his house and as soon as we saw each other sparks flew. We had some drinks and ended up sleeping together. I am very torn by all of this. I am still in love with him after all of these years, the sex is off the charts and now he keeps texting me wanting to see me. No one has ever made me feel the way he makes me feel and I can't stop thinking about him. I want him more than anything. I honestly do not even feel bad for cheating on my husband since he had the affair first and I am pretty sure it has never stopped and when I saw my ex it just felt so right, like he is the one I should have always been with.
When I ask my ex why he left me in the first place, he just tells me he doesn't know, that he just got scared. Now my mind is going crazy because I would do anything to be back with my ex and start over. I don't love my husband anymore but I am not sure if my ex wants more than just sex at this point or not. He acts like he is crazy about me but I feel like I slept with him too soon and now it is all about the sex. He is texting me every day to come over. It has been about a week and I have been putting him off but I am supposed to go see him tonight. I am just so scared that I am going to end up getting my heart broken all over again by him.
What should I do? As far as my marriage I am pretty much staying in it now because of the financial situation. It is just easier to stay and I do not want to put my daughter through a divorce but if my ex told me he wanted me back I would leave my husband in a heartbeat for him. I have never wanted anyone as much as I want him.
Did I screw up my chance of getting my ex back because I slept with him already? Should I not have sex with him anymore or is it too late? I told him that I have never cheated on my husband except with him and that he is the only one I have ever wanted. I also told him that if I was just going to be a booty call to him that I am not interested because I do not want to get my heart broken again but he keeps pursuing me. Anyone else ever been in this situation?