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-   -   How do you tell someone you don't like them back? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=262041)

  • Sep 18, 2008, 07:02 PM
    kaykay0941
    How do u tell someone you don't like them back?
    Okay so today, my friend had told me that this boy told her he liked me. I asked her to give me his cell phone number, and she did. I texted him and was like " You like me? "
    He said who told you that? I told him who, he said he was going to beat her , cause she wasn't suppose to tell me. Lol, but I don't like him back.. And I think he's going to ask me out.. How do I tell him I don't like him back without hurting his feelings? Help :(
  • Sep 18, 2008, 07:04 PM
    nauticalstar420
    Tell him you're not looking for a boyfriend right now, but you would love to be his friend. :)
  • Sep 18, 2008, 10:03 PM
    JBeaucaire
    It's not always helpful to give reasons, for they often lead to second tries or "negotiation" on the other person's part. Just saying a polite "no thank you" keeps that from happening, usually.

    HIM: "Want to go out with me on Friday?"
    YOU: "I'm flattered by your interest, but I don't think so. Thank you anyway."
    HIM: "Why not?"
    YOU: "Have you seen Debbie? I need to give her the Math homework."
  • Sep 18, 2008, 10:31 PM
    asking
    Okay, you didn't ask this, but I'm curious. If you are not interested in him, why did you ask for his number and text him to ask him to say if he liked you?
  • Sep 18, 2008, 10:39 PM
    TrueFaith
    I agree with asking why did you want his number? And why do you want to confront him? If you don't like him just leave it like that and act like nothing happned. It would be less imbarssing on all partys.

    But I guess your young :) and its nice to feel liked isn't it.

    There is no easy way to tell someone I don't feel the same. You don't need to tell him any reasons
  • Sep 19, 2008, 06:34 AM
    talaniman
    Why didn't you just tell him how you felt when you called?
  • Sep 19, 2008, 01:49 PM
    kaykay0941
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by asking
    Okay, you didn't ask this, but I'm curious. If you are not interested in him, why did you ask for his number and text him to ask him to say if he liked you?

    Uhm because? I Wanted to make sure with him first that he did, before believing what my friend said. I Would never like him anyway.. He's like not my type.. At all..
    And no.. IM NO where close to being intrested..
  • Sep 19, 2008, 01:50 PM
    kaykay0941
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by TrueFaith
    I agree with asking why did you want his number? and why do you want to confront him?? if you dont like him just leave it like that and act like nothing happned. it would be less imbarssing on all partys.

    but i guess your young :) and its nice to feel liked isnt it.

    there is no easy way to tell someone i dont feel the same. you dont need to tell him any reasons


    Lol, Yes I Am young, but I Have been liked a lot.. So iTs nothing new.
  • Sep 19, 2008, 01:51 PM
    kaykay0941
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman
    Why didn't you just tell him how you felt when you called??

    I Didn't call..
    I Texted.
  • Sep 19, 2008, 02:05 PM
    Matteus
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kaykay0941
    Okay so today, my friend had told me that this boy told her he liked me. I asked her to give me his cell phone number, and she did. I texted him and was like " You like me? "
    He said who told you that? I told him who, he said he was gonna beat her , cause she wasnt suppose to tell me. Lol, but i dont like him back.. And i think hes going to ask me out.. How do i tell him i dont like him back without hurting his feelings? help :(

    You texted him if he liked you? Why? Second, he didn't told you he likes you, he only said he is going to beat his friend. No one was talking about hurt feelings. Why do you bother, cause I don't get it.
  • Sep 19, 2008, 02:11 PM
    kaykay0941
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Matteus
    You texted him if he liked you? Why? Second, he didnt told you he likes you, he only said he is going to beat his friend. Noone was talking about hurt feelings. Why do you bother, cause i dont get it.

    Oh yea, I Forgot To Add There, He Did Say He Liked Me After I Told Him Who Said iT, He iM Going To Beat Her, Then I Said Wow So You Do Like Me, And He Said Yes.
    But I Was Just Making Sure That He Did Like Me First Before I Made The Right Decision To Believe What My Friend Said.
  • Sep 19, 2008, 02:20 PM
    Matteus
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kaykay0941
    Oh yea, i Forgot To Add iN There, He Did Say He Liked Me After i Told Him Who Said iT, He iM Going To Beat Her, Then i Said Wow So You Do Like Me, And He Said Yes.
    But i Was Just Making Sure That He Did Like Me First Before i Made The Right Decision To Believe What My Friend Said.

    He was not the one who said "Do you like me back?". So at this point, leave it like that, like nothing happened. Don't put yourself under stress. Just take it easy and calm down. Otherwise, we might change opinion about your actions!
  • Sep 19, 2008, 02:25 PM
    kminni01
    I've been in that situation many times and most times someone will get their feelings hurt, but sometimes there's just no way around it. But be as polite and caring as possible. Just tell him that you are flattered that he likes you, but that unfortunately you don't feel the same. He will understand and tell him that for now you just want to be friends. Don't worry though because it happens all the time. Just be as nice and pleasant as possible and you both should be just fine :) I hope I helped a little. Good luck to you sweetie! I wish you the best!

    <3 kt
  • Sep 19, 2008, 02:49 PM
    kaykay0941
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Matteus
    He was not the one who said "Do you like me back?". So at this point, leave it like that, like nothing happend. Dont put yourself under stress. Just take it easy and calm down. otherwise, we might change opinion about your actions!


    Omgosh? I Never said I liked him? I Said Do u like me? I Never said do you like me back.. And iM Not Putting myself under stress.
  • Sep 19, 2008, 02:53 PM
    snowalps
    Lol.. yeah.. you never said that. Though it always would ring anyone's curiousity if you'd disclose that you called him up to ask if he liked you.. :-)
    Nevertheless, guess you did that just to better the excitement! For the part to answer your q, just politely tell him that you don't feel about him the same way. Be polite and partly firm so the message goes straight.
  • Sep 19, 2008, 06:05 PM
    asking
    Well, it LOOKS like you texted him just to draw him out so you could tell him you weren't interested, which could be humiliating for him. Since you weren't interested in him, you could have just ignored your friend's information. Anyway, I agree with those who say not to contact him anymore. You don't need to rub it in and tell him you aren't interested--not unless he asks you directly. And if he does, then you should be clear but kind, maybe even apologize for contacting him when you weren't interested.
  • Sep 20, 2008, 02:48 PM
    kaykay0941
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by asking View Post
    Well, it LOOKS like you texted him just to draw him out so you could tell him you weren't interested, which could be humiliating for him. Since you weren't interested in him, you could have just ignored your friend's information. Anyway, I agree with those who say not to contact him anymore. You don't need to rub it in and tell him you aren't interested--not unless he asks you directly. And if he does, then you should be clear but kind, maybe even apologize for contacting him when you weren't interested.

    He's my friend, I've known him since forever, So why would I not want to talk to him anymore?. Doesn't make sense.. Put I'm deleting this post.. U people don't give good comments to some questions.
  • Sep 20, 2008, 06:31 PM
    nauticalstar420

    Kaykay -- unfortunately, you can't delete this post.

    For those of you that are wondering why she texted him in the first place, I MIGHT have some insight into that. Don't you all remember being young? When you're young, and you find out someone likes you, it flatters you, whether you are interested or not. The OP might have just needed that reassurance that the guy liked her, even though she doesn't like him back.

    Also, telling her not to talk to him anymore, in my opinion, is a bad idea. Not only does he find out she doesn't like him back, but he would lose a friend as well. Talk about DOUBLE rejection.

    I think the right thing to do is be honest with this guy, but spare his feelings as much as possible. Tell him you do not like him that way and you'd prefer to be friends, you're not looking for a boyfriend right now (as I suggested before), etc.

    Don't lie, and don't quit talking to him forever. That will just hurt him more than if you were to be honest.
  • Sep 20, 2008, 07:20 PM
    asking

    I didn't get that they were already friends. I don't remember that being mentioned, plus going through the third party for the phone number made it sound like they didn't normally talk. I just meant not to keep pumping the boy to talk about his feelings; I wasn't saying to snub him. Given the youthfulness of all involved, I'll leave this to the youngsters to sort out.
  • Sep 20, 2008, 07:58 PM
    ATYOURSERVICE

    "Uhm because? i Wanted to make sure with him first that he did, before believing what my friend said. i Would never like him anyways.. He's like not my type.. At all..
    And no.. iM NO where close to being intrested.." so what difference does it make? You should not have text him. Now he may have the impression you may be interested. I think you should take TRUEFAITH advice. Great advice.

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