My b/f & I were OK until a year ago when he lost his very lucatrive job. We've used all our savings & we've maxed our cc's to no avail. We're behind on the house we live in in which he's the only one on mtg. this house has no equity. We have another house under both our names in another state where we lived before; which we haven't been able to rent nor sell & we are behind on the mtg as well, this house also has no equity. I have another house with my siblings, (prior to meeting my b/f so he's not part owner) mtg free but with debts; this house has equity. My dilemma is, if we (my b/f & I) file for bankruptcy will they come after my equity. My b/f knows that he won't have to worry about any debts if we file for bankruptcy (he wants to do this but I don't) because he doesn't have anything else 'they' could take away. I don't know what to do. All my life I've had good credit but now it's ruined & I certainly don't want to lose my equity which I've worked hard to have. Also, how would it affect my sibblings equity; we're all equal owners. As if that wasn't enough, our relationship is suffering & is taking it's toll on both of us, that we're about to breakup...

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Originally Posted by sibling

My b/f & I were ok until a year ago when he lost his very lucatrive job. We've used all our savings & we've maxed our cc's to no avail. We're behind on the house we live in in which he's the only one on mtg., this house has no equity. We have another house under both our names in another state where we lived before; which we haven't been able to rent nor sell & we are behind on the mtg as well, this house also has no equity. I have another house with my siblings, (prior to meeting my b/f so he's not part owner) mtg free but with debts; this house has equity. My dilemma is, if we (my b/f & I) file for bankruptcy will they come after my equity. My b/f knows that he won't have to worry about any debts if we file for bankruptcy (he wants to do this but I don't) because he doesn't have anything else 'they' could take away. I don't know what to do. All my life I've had good credit but now it's ruined & I certainly don't want to lose my equity which I've worked hard to have. Also, how would it affect my sibblings equity; we're all equal owners. As if that wasn't enough, our relationship is suffering & is taking it's toll on both of us, that we're about to breakup...

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I think your best bet in view of your unmarried relationship and homes in two States is to consult with a bankruptcy Attorney, put it all out on the table, get some sound advice.

I see several different ways to handle your siblings' equity but an Attorney knows the bottom line.

Yes, bankruptcy or a judgement, they may come after your equity anyway. So you need serious legal advice.

Remember jobs come, jobs go, homes and "things" come and go, but if we truly love the other person we will love them homeless sleeping in your car, or living in a mansion. If you lose your love for him becaue he loses all he owns, he is better off without you.

I feel as if you misunderstood my point. I'm still here because I do love him. The reason I want to go back to my home town is only because I could (so can he) find a better job; not because I want to break up. At the rate we're going, he's not going to be able to keep his current house either. I just feel before we 'drown' we should a get 'life jacket'. A new start, even if it's in an apartment instead of a house. It hurts me to see him working long hours w/o any results. We were happier when we had less things but we had more respect for one another. One thing I had mentioned to him before entering what was at one point a lucrative career was not to let $$ get to his head. But my fear became a reality & he became an 'ugly' person until I was about to leave & he realized what he had become. I was prepared to leave all material things behind at that point but when he realized & apologized I decided to come back. Why, because I love him. I've been trying to be supportive for a whole year while he's tried to make a paycheck. How much longer should he try at this job before he realizes it's not working. Btw, before we met I was the one who was more financially stabled. So, the reason I want to go back to my home town is because I feel we can rise again & enjoy each other's company like we used to instead of working all day & still not be able to stay afloat. Thus, it has nothing to do with him losing the house. I told him I prefer to live in a 'closet' & enjoy life with him than to live in a big house & not enjoy life... not enjoy us... Thank you for your advice

I know this isn't what you have asked about, but the b/f doesn't sound like good news... has he caused all the debt?

I can't tell you how you to fix the relationship issues, but insofar as your financial status, I can give you some info. About bankruptcy.

Because you're not married, you can't file a joint BK petition. Each of you would have to file separate petitions. I'll lay out a few scenarios for you. You can leave another post or speak to an experienced BK attorney in your area.

1. If neither of you file bankruptcy, chances are creditors and lenders will be hovering over you for years and years to come. If payments are already behind, then it's likely they will get judgments and threaten lawsuits. Your lives will suffer more turmoil with the unpaid debts.

2. If he files on his own and you don't, then his legal responsibility on the listed debts is removed completely. Creditors could never pursue him in court or otherwise for payment. But because you're a co-owner on two of the houses and the credit card debt, those lenders will come after you. Same thing as above -- judgments and lawsuits and life probably even more upside down.

*The home you own isn't directly affected by his filing since he doesn't own it. Indirectly, however, if there's a judgment against you, the issuing court will demand full disclosure of your assets, in which your house might end up as a casualty.

3. If both of you file, there's an excellent chance of you keeping your house and for both of you to continue your lives with a fresh start. If your credit is already damaged or "ruined," then BK really isn't going to make it worse, provided that both of you file. In this respect, neither of you would be left with the other's debts. At least the credit card debt would be gone (if all conditions are met) and the two mortgaged homes would be surrendered to the trustee. Neither of you would be legally responsible. Again, this all depends on your case, the financial factors, the amount of debts and basically your willingness to each other.

Depending on your state, the house you own (plus the equity) may be completely exempted. The BK code allows for personal property exemptions as well as homestead and vehicle exemptions. Before you keep falling deeper and deeper, check it out with an attorney or leave another post. Take care.