This is a second marriage for both my husband and I. We both have to communicate with our ex's regularly, and see them often, too. It usually is quite amicable. My question is... is it appropriate for us to hug our ex's? When it's a birthday, or graduation, or even the worst happens and one of our parents die? I personally am not comfortable with the idea, but am open to other ideas. What does the hugging truly signify? If there is another gesture to show compassion, without getting physical, what do you think it is? I would like to know how this is handled in our society, and especially from a spiritual perspective, i.e... what would Jesus want us to do? Does anyone have any direct scriptural source on how we are to act toward others of the opposite sex once we are married?

Hugging is about comfort, if your relationship is amicable, why would you be opposed to receiving and giving comfort to an ex-spouse?

It depends on your reason for hugging.

If it's for comfort, then it's fine. If it's for intimacy, then it's borderline cheating.

I'm not sure why Jesus should be involved in this, but for me it's perfectly acceptable to hug an ex-spouse.

If they are your ex, then they are technically another human being, and why wouldn't you want to show them comfort and love?

I see my ex regularly and have no problems hugging him. We cared about each other when we were married, why would we not continue to care about each other now just as any good friends would?

The hugging signifies a shared past, shared memories and the capacity as an adult and a mature human being to move on, without rancour but with love and friendship.

You should feel blessed that you have this opportunity to relate to your respective ex's in this way. As you well know, many people have destructive and difficult relationships with their ex's.

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Originally Posted by Gemini54

I'm not sure why Jesus should be involved in this, but for me it's perfectly acceptable to hug an ex-spouse.

If they are your ex, then they are technically another human being, and why wouldn't you want to show them comfort and love?

I see my ex regularly and have no problems hugging him. We cared about each other when we were married, why would we not continue to care about each other now just as any good friends would?

The hugging signifies a shared past, shared memories and the capacity as an adult and a mature human being to move on, without rancour but with love and friendship.

You should feel blessed that you have this opportunity to relate to your respective ex's in this way. As you well know, many people have destructive and difficult relationships with their ex's.

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Loving,

Just adding another voice to Gemini's statements. There is nothing wrong with loving hugs between people who have been able to stay friends after their marriages were done, especially if there are children. There is something wrong with the more common situation in which exes hate each other and forget the affection and caring that they once shared, especially if there are children. I don't know about scripture, but I believe that if you refer to your sense of wholesomeness, forgiveness, or mutual respect you will know what these hugs mean.

I think it is fine, unless your spouse has a serious issue with it.

I usually ramble... complicate posts by going on and on.

Don't see a reason to here.

Had to spread the rep Gemini, but I agree with you.

If there is no animosity, and it's not forced or faked, there is nothing wrong with a sincere hug.

I love hugs, and the only people who I won't hug, are those that I don't want to hug me. In which case, I extend my hand instead.

It depends on the situation. Ration the hugs to when it is appropriate and don't hug if one of the new spouses has a problem with it.

Hug to show there are no hard feelings, a comforting hug, a haven't seen you in a while and its good to see you again type hugs are fine.