I didn't follow the No Contact rule. Have I ruined my chance of getting my ex back?
The No Contact rule is a very famous rule where the dumpee avoids all contact from the dumper, until he starts to miss her and comes back to her. But unfortunately, I DID NOT follow that rule. I was so hurt and shocked when my boyfriend, Jake, of 6 months broke up with me, that I did everything that you're NOT supposed to do following a break up.
Two months ago, I got into an argument with Jake and I suggested we break up, although it was not what I really intended. He, however, took it seriously and stopped contacting me. I waited two days before calling him and apologizing, and asked him to take me back. He agreed to do so, but six hours later he told me it felt "unnatural and forced" and left me for good.
Now this is where I should've applied the No Contact rule, right? Well you have no idea HOW HARD it is to follow that rule in practice. I was crying, I was on the phone with my girlfriends all night, I stopped going to college and I stopped eating. I was too insane to be following some rule.
After he broke up with me, three days later he called to ask me how I was doing. I can't figure out if it was a call made of guilt, pity, or did he just genuinely care about me? What's your opinion on it?
Well, him calling me put me in a state of false hope. I started analyzing his every word during our conversation, but I couldn't come to a conclusion whether he still loved me or not. So I did the WORST thing you could possibly do - I called his BEST FRIEND. I called his best friend to ask him what Jake was thinking. Then I told his best friend not to tell anyone I called - however, obviously he told Jake.
So Jake decided to meet up with me. I asked him if he thought that I was clingy and desperate by calling his best friend. He didn't answer me, he just stared at his hands. That moment cut my heart in half. He told me he loved me but he just can't see a future with me, because he can't handle how I always ask for a break-up every time we argue. I told him I'd change but he just wanted out.
So NOW, only, have I been following the No Contact rule. But do you think it's TOO LATE for me to use that rule?
What I'm torn between is, I'm afraid if I don't contact him he'll think I stopped caring. And on the other hand if I DO contact him, I'm afraid he'll think I'm desperate and needy. HOW??
I'm so confused. Is it really too late to get him back? Many of you may not understand me when I say this, but he really is the one for me. I love him and I absolutely cannot imagine life without him.
What do I do? How do I handle this situation? Is there really no other choice but to let go..
Comment on loveher4eva's post
As harsh as it sounds, No Contact for the Family as well (or at least until you can move on from the GF). I've had to cut off 2 great families from bad relationships.. . It's an unfortunate part of a break up. --- I have seen people keep the family around (typically Married couple who divorce) sometimes it works.