I have lived with my boyfriend for over a year and 2 months after we lived together, he stopped being affectionate. I get a morning peck on the mouth and hug when he leaves for work but there is no affection initiated on his part. He thinks I am hot looking and calls me sexy all the time but that's where it ends. I have discussed with him numerous times of what I expect and want but it doesn't seem to matter. I treat him like a king, i.e.. get up at 4:30 every morning and make his breakfast and pack his lunch and make wonderful dinners for him every night. I am at my wits end as I love him and when I come onto him he laughs at my gestures and I am about ready to move out. I am a very amourous woman who adores attention and touching but with this guy, it's impossible. He says he loves me and when I tell him that if he did, then show it. Am I nuts for sticking around. He would be devastated if I left him.

Would he be devastated if you left because of how much he loves you or because of all the things you do for him?.

It does sound like you spoil him way too much and he is just taking you for granted.

If he can't provide you with the attention you desire then perhaps you are better finding someone else who will provide it.

There is someone out there who will spoil you as much as you spoil them and who will love you as much as you love them... This guy is obviously not that person.

Never accept second best. You have to do what makes you happy.

There are men that have a low libido and that seems to be him. You are making him happy, but he's doing the minimal to keep you around. Who likes to be making fun of when is in the mood? Quite offensive, it will take yourself esteem away. I don't think that being the hot looking (is that for show you up with his friends?) cook is being satisfying for you. And don't worry about him. He can be as devastated as he wants, all of us eat what we cook!

Take care!

Be as nice to yourself as you are to him and if he doesn't appreciate you then STOP DOING IT!!

When he wonders where his lunch is, or his clean underwear, you tell him how you feel. He will get mad, so what.

Sleep late tomorrow.

I'm completely against living with your boyfriend, I believe it to be counterproductive and makes it impossible to be subjective about how your relationship is really going.

BUT, having said that, I can admit that one of the reasons you might live with him is to get an advance picture of what being married to him would be like. OK. So now you know.

Now what?

An honest question - You don't actually believe you can TALK someone into having a more active libido than they have? You don't really think you can help him "get it", do you?

You're dating, you're living together, why? Isn't it so you can SEE? This isn't a never-ending event, it's an experiment. Now that you have CLEAR indications of what this particular experiment results in, how does 60 years of this sound to you?

He can't change by you talking to him. He MIGHT change if he loses you over this, probably not, or at least not for long. His libido is what it is.

When you remember the MAIN reason you date and accept that, you can start the process needed to fix this. And it's not fixed by anything he's going to do, this is all on you.

You CAN change something... your geography, and your future. But not while you're aiming all this thought at him alone like he's the only thing that matters.

It is obvious that the relationship is working perfect for him why would he try to change. You have to slowly ease out of this situation. If you try to change this too fast it might backfire. I know woman are good at ( or should be) changing relationships slowly. Good luck

I'm not clear on something; did things change sexually after you moved in together, or were they always like that?

If they changed once you moved in together: he may be living out his idea of a live in relationship, rather than actually living out the relationship that exists between the two of you. Maybe his only other experience of a couple living together were his parents, and maybe they weren't very affectionate to each other- that's just theoretical anyway, if it changed with you moving in, you may benefit from relationship counselling.

Otherwise, if he was never all that affectionate, maybe you have to ask yourself why you thought that things would be better if you moved in. Did you think that there would be more opportunity, and so your sex life would improve? BIG MISTAKE.

No matter how compatible we may be on an emotional level, psychological level etc. etc. sexual compatibility still remains a realm unto itself. If you're not sexually compatible with your partner, living together will not improve your sex life, only make it even more obvious. If you're unable to reach a compromise with your partner, you need to think about whether being sexually fulfilled is important to you and (surprise surprise) it sounds like you are one of the majority- it is very important to you. Face it, break up, and wait to find someone who it works with on all counts.

I am living with my fiancé and he isn't affectionate and yet I am OVERLY affectionate I love hugging and kissing and all that stuff... Its wears a bit thin when you are the one giving the affectionate and they are taking it yet getting nothing in return.. When we watch movies and TV shows together laying on the bed I'm the one who snuggles up to him... For once I would love him to snuggle up to me and be the one to drape himself over me...
You sound like your doing everything for this guy and he is doing nothing.. honestly don't you want a guy who does for you what you do for him? I think it is only fair.. don't take second best don't settle... the right person is out there for you.. it might hurt to come to the realisation that maybe he isn't the one for you but when you find the RIGHT one for you you won't even give this guy a second thought because the new guy will blow you away...