18 year old - should I kick him out
I have an 18 year old stepson who lives in the house with me. His father is in Afghanistan for at least another year. My stepson is currently attending college and is in the ROTC program. Generally a good kid. Here is the problem. His dad and I have been on him for almost two years to get a job. He had one job that he had for 5 days and another that he lost in two days, he didn't show up the second day because he decided to take a nap instead of going to work. When he turned 18 we told him he would have to pay his own car insurance and phone service, as much for him to learn responsibility and a way to earn himself some positive credit. He reached out to his grandmother who is now paying those things for him. Continued to push him to get a job and because he didn't want a “real job” he has joined the reserves that will net him about $200 a month until he goes to basic training. He had a chance at a full ride scholarship for ROTC but because he was too lazy to go, he didn't get it. If he had tried out and didn't make it we were going to pay half of his tuition but now we are making him pay for the 1st semester on his own.
He had chores around the house but because he either forgot or just didn't plain do them we had to take most of them away from him because they involved caring for the animals (a horse and two dogs) and they were suffering because of his laziness, no water and didn't feed. He still has to take out the trash, but that doesn't get done unless I tell him. I have not told him for the last two weeks on purpose and guess what; the trash hasn't made it to the curb. I don't really cook for myself at night and I'm gone all day so I've told him to make me a grocery list for whatever food he might want and I will buy it. He has gone as long as 6 weeks without groceries, (at least I got my pantry cleaned out of all the old stuff) even with me telling him to make a list every day. I held out to see when he would run out of whatever spending money he had. Really just lazy. The problem has become that the few rules he has in the house he just ignores. I think that is so disrespectful and I'm tired of running after him and being the bad guy. I'm really sick of him blatantly ignoring the rules. How do I make him grow up? What is a good punishment for him not following the rules? He has an “I deserve” attitude and he has no respect for his dad or I. I can't talk to his dad anymore because he is already feed up with him. Help!