So me and this girl started talking a lot after we met when we and some other friends went to a movie. At the time, she was dating another guy, and I assumed nothing was really going to happen. A week later she told me that she liked me, but she still liked her boyfriend more. After about two months of having a half relationship, she broke up with him and went out with me-the guy also liked someone else and was fine with it. We started dating and for about 2 months, everything was great-she loved me, and I loved her. We would talk all the time and would do a lot together, and just hang out sometimes. However, eventually she began to become more and more distant, eventually not really talking to me at school at all, and just having a generally negative and superior attitude towards me. As this was my first relationship, I still loved her a lot and I felt really confused-she liked boys who were arrogant and the "dark boy" style, but we're gentle to her. I do know that I may have been too nice, verging on clingy-but I genuinely loved her. After another two months from the beginning of the decline, she broke it off-with the reason of that she "was sick of liking me as much as I liked her". After two days of being super depressed and sad, she contacted me on Facebook-however, she just told me off for making other people think she was cruel by crying. However, she then started asking me questions of whether I thought she was worth it to try and get her back, and then logged offline. 2 months later, she is still like this-at school and with her friends and online, she is smart-mouthed, mean, discerning and despising towards me-however she has moments which appear to be genuine care. I don't trust her though-she has the capacity to just mess with people. I still like her a lot and I don't know what to do-mainly, I don't know what's going on with her. She is naturally flirty with anyone and so I get jealous easily-but sometimes she appears to still have feelings. This is getting in the way of my life and I just want to get her back (although in general telling her your feelings and love results negatively)-what do I do?

Hi there,

You've basically answered your own question by saying "she is smart-mouthed, mean, discerning and despising towards me."

To give you a piece of golden advice, if she isn't going to treat YOU in a manner that you deserve, and reciprocate the feelings that you have for her, then you need to stop contact with her, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and find someone who is going to treat you with the respect and dignity that you deserve.

When I was in high school, I was in a very similar situation, and I wasted a LOT of time being pissed off all the time just like you are. You need to break free from the idea of what she COULD be, and look for someone who IS what you want.

"Love" is a two-way street, which demands respect and care. She has shown neither of these things to you, and is wasting your time.

What you need to do is cut off all extraneous contact with her, not to be cruel, but to heal and to grow. Don't text her, don't call her, don't instant message or Facebook her. Matter of fact, delete her from your Facebook account, don't give yourself the temptation to talk to her or read her status updates which will inevitably make you angry.

A trick I did was to change the name in my phone of an ex to "Do not respond!" which always gives me a reminder when she's trying to contact me to stay away.

- Kevin

Ok, that seems to make a lot of sense, actually. Thank you.