Husband does want wife to read e-mail from female friend
OK, I have another relational issue. I have had trust issues within my 6 year relationship with my now husband. We dated from 5 1/2 years, and have been married 8 months. During our courtship I was jealous of my husband's female friends (and I must admit, although I'm getting better... I think... I am still jealous) and my husband found it easier to omit bits and pieces of what he did or who he talked to (for example, he went to hang out with some friends one night, and told me what guys he was with, but just "didn't mention" that his best girl friend from high school and his ex-girlfriend were there) so my trust issues with him have wavered.
Now that we are married, he has found another female friend. I actually wrote another post about her. She's younger and single, and sees my husband all the time due to work related things. He and her text back and forth, and I just found out last night that they have been e-mailing each other back and forth on Facebook. Now, this in itself isn't such a big deal, because I have a guy friend who (needless to say is older and married, I met him through an intership through school) but we e-mail each other occasionally since we don't ever get together. My issue is that I saw he closed the e-mail when I walked in the room, and I asked him if I could read his messages. He said NO! He said not right now, because he didn't want to get into it with me. He said I would probably read into something and get all upset. Now I don't believe that my husband is cheating, or would ever cheat, but this sent up a red flag.
I'm not saying that because we are husband and wife he needs to leave his Facebook account open for me to see, but when I ask if I can read a message and he says no, he doesn't want me to, that really bothers me. I feel like he must have something to hide, and that makes my trust for him plummit. Plus, he wants me to be OK with this female friend, but by not letting me see their e-mails back and forth, I don't know what is going on between them, and it makes me think that it is more that "just simple friends". I could be way off base, but I told him that all these feelings were coming up because he told me no. I can't think of anything else except to be supicious.
I was so upset, and when he asked why it bothered me so much, I said because I felt like trust was one of the pillars of marriage, and that it was crumbling for me now because not letting me read an e-mail from his female friend does not instill trust. He was so defensive, and said it's the principle of the point. That he shouldn't have to share everything with me.
Help! This is all I can think about... we went to bed without any agreement, and of course I still haven't seen the e-mail. That's all that is running through my head right now is, what does it say that I would overreact to? Another issue I had is that he knows that I get jealous and overreact to things, so wouldn't it be better to show me the e-mail and put my suspicions to rest?
Please respond to this post, I need some help to get through this! He feels like he has done nothing wrong, and when I tell him that these kind of secrets don't work in an honest and open marriage, he said that it's just a difference of opinion, and no one is right or wrong. But he won't see my point of view! I see this as a marriage changing issue, and I don't think he gets it.
Please tell me your thoughts-does anyone think he's right? Are there any guys out there that are married and think he's valid? I need to hear both sides, because I'm going crazy!