Okay, i refuse to give out any major details because im afraid someone i know might read this.
I'm 15 years old and currently in a sexual relationship with my boyfriend. The only thing that worries me about being in a relationship right now, is that I fear I'm suffering from panic attacks :( For instance, if I get embarrassed about something that my boyfriend has done, I'll get really upset and start to cry. The problem is that if I cry to hard or try my hardest not to, then I can't breathe properly so I start to panic. When I start panicing I can barely breathe. My body starts to shake or randomly jerk and sometimes it can be really painful. My body may go stiff or limp, and if I get to the point where I go limp then I faint.
What really upsets me and worries me the most is that I don't know how I'm going to react to people being around me. Like one time, my boyfriend tried to comfort me and calm me down by hugging me and talking calmly to me, and I began to relax, however another time, I lashed out at him, and another time I felt clostraphobic and fainted. What my boyfriend said to me is that I won't talk to him during the panic attack, so he doesn't know what to do, and to be honest neither do I :(
I don't know what I'm going to do or how I'm going to react, so I can't be sure how to tell my boyfriend what to do if it happens again. Im worried for his safety and mine.
Please help me

Ok, this is definitely more of a medical issue rather then emotional... You need to see a doctor about your panic attacks, and let a doctor know they occur whenever your boyfriend does something. Secondly, I'm not really sure why you brought up your physical relationship, but I don't think a 15 year old should be doing anything sexual. But that's another story, see a doctor and a therapist to calm you down.

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Originally Posted by ;

I'm not really sure why you brought up your physical relationship

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I brought it up about me being a sexual relationship because I usually have a panic attack before, during, or after sex.
And yes there is a reason why which is personal to say, but lets just say that I have been sexually abused by a member of my family

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Originally Posted by rockchick182

And yes there is a reason why which is personal to say, but lets just say that i have been sexually abused by a member of my family

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That was my instict. Time to see a therapist.

Yeah... see a therapist, a doctor and stop having sex... You're not old enough clearly and you really need to get rid of these emotional hold backs before you may do something that hurts you again that has to do with sex.

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Originally Posted by barbiechick123

something that hurts you again that has to do with sex.

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He hasn't forced me to do anything I didn't want to do if that's what your saying. Its just that sometimes if I feel embarrassed by something we do, then I either deal with it or get upset, and when I do I panic.
And barbiechick123, I'm not just about to stop having sex, because what's that going to prove ? Yes I'm underage but so is most of the teenagers in the world who have sex.

I'm just saying, if you've been sexually abused and you're having sex with someone so young, you'll probably end up being scarred. Right now it probably seems like it's normal, but when you're older and things don't work out, you'll regret it. I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but it's the cold hard truth, and yes many kids are having sex that is true.. and that's why there are shows like 16 and PREGNANT, just because everyone is doing something doesn't make it okay. But it's your life, not mine...

PS: if you are constantly getting embarrassed during/after sex with him then obviously you're not mature to be doing that. Sex shouldn't be embarrassing.

Sounds like you need to tell your boyfriend what happened and take a break from the sex until you can get the therapy you need.
You need to remind yourself that this is here and now and you love your boyfriend and learn to not tie it to your past bad experience. A therapist will help you through that.

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Originally Posted by rockchick182

And barbiechick123, im not just about to stop having sex, because whats that going to prove ? .

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It's not meant to prove anything. We are telling you you need to stop until you get over the past because you are putting your mind and/or body through hell.
You need to stop until this gets sorted out and you overcome the problem.

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Originally Posted by barbiechick123

PS: if you are constantly getting embarrassed during/after sex with him then obviously you're not mature to be doing that. sex shouldn't be embarrassing.

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Its not all the time I get embarrassed, its just the odd time where he laughs at something, I don't want to say what, but he realises its not funny and then apologies and then he doesn't do it again.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

Sounds like you need to tell your bf what happened and take a break from the sex until you can get the therapy you need.

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My boyfriend already knows what happened, and I have already told him that I think its best to stop having sex for a while until I can figure out what to do, and he agreed with me

Your panic attacks need to be treated by doctor/s and or therapist because often panic attacks, when left untreated, tend to spread to other situations over time. Your panic may have started during a specific event and repeated attacks have occurred in the same or similar situation. Left untreated, these panic events will begin to happen at other times unrelated to the original attack and eventually you could become debilitated without proper help to overcome the cause. That is all anyone is trying to say here.

Yes 15 is not old enough for the kind of relationship you are having, but now you need help learning how to cope with the abuse you suffered earlier and how to control your panic repsonse.

But what if there is another way around it? A way where I don't have to see a Doctor or a therapist?

You can wait for it to happen again. Chances are it won't ever happen again... chances are it will happen again. If it is causing you distress why wouldn't you want to go to a doctor or therapist for help?

Wait, I think I can guess.. You are embarrassed about the details of what you believe is the cause of these panic attacks. You can't even say it on an anonymous site like this so how could you possibly tell a doctor or therapist? Am I close? If so, you might be able to stop the attacks completely by stopping whatever activity or behavior it is that leads up to your boyfriend doing whatever it is he does that triggers your panic response.

Never mind what people say about your personal and sexual life. That is up to you.

As for panic attacks, you should see a doctor because for one, they can recommend a psychiatrist if it is not a physical issue and psychiatrists will decide whether therapy and/or medication is right for you. I take meds for anxiety and have not had a panic attack in over a year. Meditation and exercise (especially exercise) help immensely.

Most importantly, see a doctor to make sure it is not something physical.

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Originally Posted by thewiseoldwoman

Wait, I think I can guess.. You are embarrassed about the details of what you believe is the cause of these panic attacks. You can't even say it on an anonymous site like this so how could you possibly tell a doctor or therapist? Am I close?

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Yes you are close, but its more about the fact that the last time I went to see a Doctor.. . Its quite embarrassing for me to say.. . But I had to take my jeans off so he can touch my leg and stuff to see where it hurts, and I get VERY nervous and after I had seen the Doctor I had a panic attack in front of my Mum!

That just sounds like a teen getting embarresed when you had to do that, I don't know everything that goes on... but maybe you're embassered to be naked in front of someone? Maybe not, I'm just thinking that might be it..? Because I would be if a doctor did that to me.

Its not just if I'm naked in front of people. I start to panic when I'm in a big crowd of people, but my Sister says that might be me being anxious. But if its mostly because I'm embarrassed what can I do to stop it happening again ?

Well if it is being embarrassed... what I do, is I find something funny, have someone take my mind off it...

First off, I can just about understand the doctor thing, but a therapist? They are never going to take your jeans off, or touch you. If they do, you get out and call the authorities.

Now, I don't know your area, so can't look up the specific laws, but I know that here, at your age, you can go a physician without your parent's needing to be there. They have to give approval (signing a form or whatever) but aren't required to be present. Do you have a personal doctor, or just whoever is available?
I recommend going to the doctor, but just getting a routine visit. Get to know them, and when they have to examine you, you will be ready and not so nervous when they have to do their doctor-y stuff.

Also, your school may have a therapist or be able to get you a free therapist, I recommend talking to your counceler about that.

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Originally Posted by HelpinHere

First off, I can just about understand the doctor thing, but a therapist? They are never going to take your jeans off, or touch you. If they do, you get out and call the authorities.

Now, I don't know your area, so can't look up the specific laws, but I know that here, at your age, you can go a physician without your parent's needing to be there. They have to give approval (signing a form or whatever) but aren't required to be present. Do you have a personal doctor, or just whoever is avaliable?
I recommend going to the doctor, but just getting a routine visit. Get to know them, and when they have to examine you, you will be ready and not so nervous when they have to do their doctor-y stuff.

Also, your school may have a therapist or be able to get you a free therapist, I recommend talking to your counceler about that.

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Yeah like HelpinHere said you're going to have to look up if you can go without your parents, because were I'm from, they have to be in the room during certain things.