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-   -   Girlfriend of 4 years wanted a "break." It's been 5 weeks, what do I do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=142152)

  • May 30, 2008, 03:52 PM
    Homegirl 50
    You got over it all didn't you?
    Good for you
  • Jun 2, 2008, 12:17 PM
    freakinconfused
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
    You got over it all didn't you?
    Good for you

    I believe so. I have my moments of nostalgia and longing of course, but those are quelled once I realize that, even if she came back and wanted to resume our relationship, I'd never be able to trust her fully. Without that, there is nothing.
  • Jun 2, 2008, 12:24 PM
    damaged
    You gimme so much hope.. lol...
    I want to get to the point where you are :)
    AWESOME for you
  • Jun 2, 2008, 12:40 PM
    freakinconfused
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by damaged
    you gimme so much hope..lol...
    i wanna get to the point where you are :)
    AWESOME for you

    You will, soon enough. It just takes time. I think you are on the right path though, assuming you truly believe that quote you have in your signature. It took me a long time to see it, but realizing it and knowing it to be true helps you get over the whole thing much more quickly. Once you come to know that the people you love, hate, befriend, betray, etc. are simply players on your stage, meant to define and shape you, then acceptance becomes much more easy.
  • Jun 2, 2008, 03:39 PM
    JackBurton
    It has taken 4 months for me so far. And to be honest there are still times when I get down on myself cause I feel like I wasn't good enough for her. But now I am starting to realize that this would've have happened no matter what, that it was inevitable. No how much money I had or who I had to become to make her temporarily "satisfied". I know in the long run that this will be better for me but the most important thing for me is to actually believe that, and that is what is the hardest for me right now. Everyone tells me that I need to go meet somebody else, that it will help me get over it. I don't feel that it will help me quite yet. It's not fair to someone else to let them into my life, when I'm not ready yet. I don't believe in the rebound thing. I bought a new car and started to do things for me. This has helped so far. I have not seen or talked to her in over 2 months. Yes, a part of me is hoping that she calls me out of the blue, but it is only so I can have the upper hand and not respond or let her know that I don't "need" her in my life anymore. I found that music has also helped me get through a lot. Whether you want to be angry and listen to "Pretty Hate Machine" by NIN or grieve and listen to "Sea Change" by Beck. That's up to the individual. The song that sums up everything for me and helped is "3 Libras" by A Perfect Circle. I suggest that you download the lyrics and buy the album, you won't be disappointed. Thanks to everyone on this website also, you have all been an inspiration and great help.
  • Jun 2, 2008, 03:45 PM
    freakinconfused
    Sea Change is absolutely awesome. That's pretty much what the whole album is about.
  • Dec 9, 2008, 03:26 PM
    xshorty_jessx

    Some people just don't understand that it really isn't easy to brake up with someone you have been going out as long as you have I mean I've been with my fella for 2 years and 2 month when he upsets me that's all people tell me but if the people had been in a long term realationship would understand how painful and hard it is just to forget that it ever happened I say wait a few more week and see if anything improves she might be waiting she might want to talk things threw with you but doesn't know how to start the conversation she can't stop loving you just like that unless you've done something to hurt her. Just see how it develops it will get better for you you will feel better for it try it x
  • Dec 9, 2008, 03:41 PM
    9Lives
    All I can tell you is love isn't fair. Just because you have been doing right by your girl does not mean she is going to be yours forever. It is just the way it is. Countless of people have said this. You don't have to do anything to get dumped by someone you love. They just decide one day, they want to break up. You have to deal with it but I suggest you deal with it and learn from it cause you are young and one of this chic might try that s/hit again and you just have know how to handle them. Tell them to keep moving b/ch! I'm done too. Trust me, I know... been there! And NO I Don't WANT YOUR FREAKIN FRIENDSHIP DAMMIT
  • Dec 9, 2008, 07:13 PM
    JackBurton
    It has been about 10 months now. She is officially dating the guy she said she was just "friends" with. Oh, well. The strange thing is, is that I ended up running into the sister that she would talk to all the time a few days ago. Her sister told her that she was young and should do what she wants. She was quite an influence in the decision. Any who, while talking with the sister, she told me that I need to let her sister (my ex) know that I still care about her (even though we have not seen or talked to each other in over 8 months now). I said to her that she is probably going to end up marrying this guy. Her response to that was "not if I have anything to do with it". She was hinting that things weren't that great between them and that no one really liked him. That we need to let her fall on her face. She also said that I should call the family and talk to them again. W.T.F? Talk about a mind fu_k!

    I have decided to not do anything of the sort. I have lost all trust in her even if she wanted to get back together (at least that's what I say now). Only time will tell. All I know is that I am not going to put myself on hold for someone that doesn't appreciate what I had/have to offer. Part of me though is a little satisfied that the sister who is VERY independent said what she said to me. Despite it being extremely confusing.

    Thanks
  • Dec 10, 2008, 07:01 AM
    kctiger

    Don't do anything, you are right. It isn't your problem anymore. Live your life and control what you can control. If she is in a bad relationship, that is for her to decide and do something about.
  • Dec 10, 2008, 08:11 AM
    talaniman

    Anybody notice how old this post is, or that the OP hasn't been back in months?
  • Dec 10, 2008, 08:18 AM
    kctiger

    Good point... it was the thought that counts.
  • Dec 10, 2008, 10:07 AM
    freakinconfused
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Anybody notice how old this post is, or that the OP hasn't been back in months?

    Sup guys!

    Yeah I haven't been back to this site in months because I don't give a $hit about that girl any more. I talk to her every now and then, but really just don't care. I've got a new girlfriend now who is way cooler. Of course, this relationship has its own set of issues as well, but I've adopted the attitudes of "I'm happy with myself and I'm gonna do my own thing," and "she's a guest in my reality, not the other way around."

    This way, I can still care for her and do things with her, but I don't make her the centre of my universe, and when she plays little games with me, which all girls do, I just don't give a #uck. This works great because then she sees that they don't affect me. Also, sometimes I'll call her on it and make her feel dumb for even trying in the first place.

    I guess the main thing I'm trying to say is that with this one, I could walk at any time and still be happy, and she knows it, so she works hard to keep me. And that's the way it should be.

    Still, if any of you guys need advice or anything just hit up my thread and I'll try and help!
  • Dec 17, 2008, 03:33 PM
    Puppylover46236

    You suld text her and see and if she doesn't text back just leave itshe could be on holidays who nows just try that.
  • Dec 17, 2008, 03:39 PM
    chuff
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Puppylover46236 View Post
    you suld text her and see and if she doesnt text back just leave itshe could be on holidays who nows just try that.

    He's over her.

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