Hubby was talking to his ex
Hello,
There is a problem that I need some advice on.. Iam passing throug a really difficult moment and feel very depressed. Right now, Iam at work and since last night my eyes can't stop getting watery from what I found out yesterday from the love of my life, my husband..
The major problem of mine is that Iam really nosy and yesterday while me and my husband were chatting online while working by mistake he typed in his password for his Yahoo email and gmail(they both were the same password).. I know that the following thing that I did was really wrong and I should have hold myself back and respect his privacy but I couldn't help but log in to his emails and look..
We recently got married like around 5 months ago but Ive always felt their was something missing.. I think to negative of him and Iam a very jealous person and know that I have to fix that.. (beleive me that I have cryed so many nights thinking that I may be a bad wife to him)..
Well back to the email situation.. I opened his email and noticed that just last year around August 29 (we began talking around march 14 of last year and met personally for the 1st time on July 14 also of last year '07) Well I noticed that he sent a email to his 1st ex girlfriend just cause he saw her in a reunion from afar.. From what I've remember of what I read he asked her how she was doing and also her family- that he saw her sitting in the same area as always and that if she wanted to chat more to contact him through IM at night.. She eventually replied saying that everything was OK and that she also saw him from afar she also agreed that it was great seeing him and also added that she wishes that when they met back in 2001 it would have been better if they were both older cause supposebly they made a lot of mistakes because they were young and stupid and that's why things didn't work out between them.. The story of their breakup is that back in 2001 she cheated on my husband.. So back to the email, Iam guessing that they spoke on the phone that same night they saw each other cause he replied to her email telling her that the Saturday that they both hang up he wanted to see pass by and see her to catch up on things.. Iam guessing that they also spoke about me by the phone cause she replied to his email saying that she wants to meet me and that if I know about her.. He replied saying that it wouldn't be a good idea if she were to meet me cause Iam a jealouse type.. She then replied saying that she is glade that they didn't meet that night because if I probably would have not liked it that they met.. So basically, I don't know how to feel anymore.. I know that this happened last year but how do I know for certain that he is over her and not chatting or talking to her anymore..
I couldn't help but tell him what I did (sometimes I wish that I didn't and kept a watchout to make sure he isn't talking to her no more) He got really angry for what I did and kept on saying that I was invading his privacy and that no man likes that.. I felt terrible and felt like a horrible person.. I scooped so low and hate it.. But I still can't take out of my mine that when he was dating me (and telling me how much he loves me and wants to marry me) he was still talking to his ex on the phone and online. Their wasn't any recent email from her since then but he could have deleted it.. He has told me before that they were really good friends but he also told me that she hurted him deeply for doing what she did to him (cheated).. So how could he still be hooked on someone that made him suffer and didn't care about him.. Sometimes I feel like he hasn't gotten over her and that he is just using me to forget about her or to somehow hurt her showing her that he moved on. I feel like I am a object and he has told me several times that he loves me with all his heart - but why then still talk to your 1st ex.. what do I do? I am so confused and hurt